Premier League Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manchester United Still Don't Realize They're Not Manchester United Anymore
It’s kind of cute, if in a sad sort of way. Manchester United, once the biggest name in the game, chasing after superstars in the press like a giddy child racing after lightning bugs in the night, hoping to nab one or two like the big clubs can but knowing deep down that it won’t actually happen....
These Two Petr Čech Saves Are The Best Saves
Arsenal are hosting Liverpool today in the Premier League, and through one half, the Gunners look like complete and utter bullcrap against the visitors. It’s remarkable how many players in Arsenal’s starting XI appear to be betting against their team on the same day. And yet—and yet!— it’s still sco...
Man, Mario Balotelli Is Going Through Some Shit
Here are three things that have happened to exiled Liverpool and Italian national team striker Mario Balotelli in the last day or so:...
Manchester City Stake Their Claim As The Premier League's Best Team
You wouldn’t exactly describe it as a shock. It was Manchester City, after all. Winners of two of the last four Premier League titles; armed with the best goalscorers in the country; with one of its twistiest, most creative talents; newly infused with the precocious abilities of England’s most promi...
Mario Balotelli Does Lots Of Dumb Things, So Liverpool Want No Part Of Him
Liverpool have pretty obviously been trying to offload the mercurial and misfiring Mario Balotelli for months now. And while we haven’t yet seen the kind of public outbursts we’re used to when Balo has previously overstayed his welcome, the Independent has a rundown of previously unreported incident...
Here's José Mourinho's Bullshit Excuse For Why He Demoted His Team Doctor
Earlier this week, José Mourinho demoted Chelsea’s long-serving team doctor, days after he publicly showed her up during a game last weekend. He’s rightly come in for criticism for the decision, so now “sources close” to him have concocted an excuse for the change: the players didn’t feel comfortabl...
José Mourinho Demotes Team Doctor After Blowing Up Her Spot On Pitch
Eva Carneiro, the long-serving Chelsea first team doctor, has been a staple of the team’s matches over the years, rushing out onto the pitch as the first responder to any and all of their injuries. It’s very likely that one such attempt to treat a player on the field last weekend will be her last, h...
West Ham Fan Keeps Word, Gets Ass Tattoo To Commemorate Win Over Arsenal
Arsenal, this year’s sexy pick to Do Some Things in England’s Premier League this year, kicked off their campaign yesterday at home against West Ham. What follows is a story in two tweets:...
Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea
Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could ma...
The First Goal Of The Premier League Season Is ... An Own Goal
Here it is, the day we’ve all been waiting for: the return of the EPL. Manchester United-Tottenham is our opener, and though Spurs started brightly, all their good work was undone thanks to a terrible pass by Nabil Bentaleb. It wasn’t the prettiest season-christening goal, but we’ll take it....
The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-impo...
The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...
Starting From The Bottom: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 1
PREMIER LEAGUE BACK....
Some Guy Simulated 1,000 Seasons Into The Future In <i>Football Manager</i>
Everybody knows that the true joy of playing Football Manager is getting a decade or so into the future and seeing the new Messis and Ronaldos and Mourinhos and Guardiolas come and go. Reddit user “Lorf_Yimzo” took this to its logical conclusion, setting up a save in England, simulating into the yea...
José Mourinho Is Shitting On Managers Again, Which Means Soccer's Back!
We’ve seen preseason play and preseason brawls, and now that José Mourinho has broken out the ol’ charcoal grill and laid on a couple thick slabs of Arsène Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini tenderloin, the aroma of preseason beef means the Premier League season is just around the corner....
Raheem Sterling Is Making Bank Because England Sucks
Raheem Sterling is already, at just 20 years of age, a damn good player, with every chance to become great. This obviously and understandably makes him a very valuable asset, as his now official English-record transfer and new salary attest. What he isn’t is £180,000 a week good. His mix of current ...
Liverpool Don't Deserve Raheem Sterling
Here’s our daily exercise in keeping competing thoughts in our heads at the same time. European soccer has become player ruled. Particularly in the post-Chelsea, post-Manchester City era, there’s more money sloshing around in the top league than many entire nations. There’s no loyalty to club and no...
Premier League Starlet Pictured Passed Out In Middle Of The Road
Jack Grealish, the 19-year-old future-stud winger for Aston Villa, had a season to be proud of. He broke into the first team, becoming a regular starter by the end of the season, and impressed enough to be linked with bigger teams. To celebrate, it appears he got lit up in Spain, concluding at least...
José Mourinho Burns Premier League Rivals In Funny Award Speech
Nobody does smug satisfaction better than this guy. Even if this was obviously written by someone else, it’s that textbook José Mourinho delivery that makes it all worthwhile....