rb Page 210 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cook For Yourself<em></em>
My wife was out for a girls’ night and I was home alone with my three rowdy kids. To my enormous shame, I have yet to get my two younger kids to eat the same shit that my wife and I eat every night. I cook a regular meal, and then my boys eat chicken nuggets or cheese toast or some other garbage. Wi...
North Alabama Shocks Vanderbilt To Win Their First-Ever D-I Game
In one of the most surprising upsets that could possibly happen this Tuesday evening, North Alabama’s women’s basketball team defeated Vanderbilt 74-71 in the program’s first-ever Division I game....
After All That Nonsense, LaMelo Ball Is Going Back To High School
LaMelo Ball, youngest brother of Lakers guard Lonzo Ball and youngest son of fartbrained wannabe shoe salesman LaVar Ball, will enroll at an Ohio prep school to finish his high-school basketball career, according to Slam Online. It’s not known at this time exactly how this move fits into his overbea...
The Future Of Baseball Won't Look The Way You Expect
Back in 2017, the American League’s top Most Valuable Player candidates were New York’s Aaron Judge and Houston’s José Altuve. Judge, at 6-foot-7 and 280-some pounds and with his ungodly exit velocities and tape-measure home runs, was widely hailed as THE FUTURE OF BASEBALL. In the future, all power...
At Least Nathan Peterman Led The Bills In Rushing?
You’d better be prepared for the Nathan Peterman Experience, because if you’re not he’s going to run your ass over. ...
Maryland Football Players Dispute Punter's Description Of Practice Fight
Maryland backup punter Matthew Barber was involved in a physical altercation with at least one teammate after Tuesday’s team practice, and he later told the Baltimore Sun that he was attacked because other players thought that he had been a whistleblower during the investigation into the football pr...
Dr. Z's Lesser-Known Book Was One Of The Truest Things About Football Ever Written<em></em>
Longtime football writer Paul Zimmerman, better known as Dr. Z, died today at age 86, his former colleague Peter King announced. Zimmerman hadn’t written for years due to a series of strokes, but for a time he was one of the best football writers out there and worth remembering today. Here’s what I ...
The Bills Ran A Play From <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>
The Buffalo Bills went deep into the playbook on their opening drive tonight, running LeSean McCoy and Chris Ivory on direct snaps in full house backfield setups. Might as well break out some trickery to try to beat the New England Patriots....
Walker Buehler Is A Goddamn Stud
Max Muncy might have been the hero for the Dodgers in the marathon that was Game 3 of the World Series, but rookie pitcher Walker Buehler was the real star. The 24-year-old showed on Friday that he’s ready to be the next great Los Angeles postseason hero in his seven-inning shutout performance....
Report: The Broncos' Ownership Situation Is Getting Messy
Control of the Broncos organization was passed to a trust in 2014, when Annabel Bowlen announced that her husband, team owner Pat Bowlen, was too diminished by Alzheimer’s disease for him to continue running the team. The Broncos won the Super Bowl the following season, but the years since have been...
How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick Mahomes?<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Broncos Cut Chad Kelly After He Allegedly Trespassed And Got Hit With A Vacuum Tube
Chad Kelly’s alleged adventure into a stranger’s home Tuesday morning, which ended with him getting whacked with a vacuum tube, has cost him his job. The Denver Broncos released the sophomore quarterback today. Wow, and we call this America?...
Zach Smith Is Gloating Online About His Disorderly Conduct Plea Deal
Former Ohio State wide receivers coach Zach Smith pled guilty to disorderly conduct Tuesday, as part of an arrangement that brings some closure to multiple allegations of domestic abuse made by Courtney Smith, his ex-wife. The deal reportedly also includes a protection order:...
Broncos QB Chad Kelly Arrested After Allegedly Trespassing In Stranger's Home, "Mumbling Incoherently"
Broncos backup quarterback Chad Kelly was booked into the Arapahoe County Jail this morning on charges of first-degree criminal trespassing. Ian Rapoport of NFL Network first reported the arrest....
The John Smoltz Urban Legend That Was Too Good To Check
John Smoltz is, at this point in his second career as a color commentator, not really that good at the job. He understands the game well, but he’s also drowsy and grouchy in all the ways that old ballplayers tend to be: checked out and skeptical and reflexively salty about today’s players, grumpily ...
Ohio State Was Thoroughly Spanked
This was near the end of the devastation, but here’s a perfect example of how Purdue kicked Ohio State’s ass Saturday night:...
Let's Remember Some Guys: Treasure Trove Guys Vol. V
No one was more unprepared for the brief and preposterous baseball card boom of the 1990s than the companies that manufactured and sold those cards. This is not to say that I, as a tweenage idiot, was capable of assimilating and comprehending the fact that the baseball cards I’d stockpiled out of ro...
Here Is Just A Totally Absurd Von Miller Highlight
Few things on a football field are easier to overlook than what goes on at the line of scrimmage. But sometimes a player does something so spectacular within that grunting tangle of limbs and padding that it can’t help but stand out as a highlight. Von Miller is one player capable of producing such ...
The Arizona Cardinals Are Toilet Soup
Von Miller called his shot earlier this week when he said his team would kick the Arizona Cardinals’ asses. The Broncos, who had lost four straight, had planned to take out their frustrations in tonight’s game. The hopeless bird men were happy to oblige....
What Is John Elway Talking About In This Inane Political Ad?
As a general rule, vague political advertisements are vague for a reason. Everything is broken and sinking and extremely on fire, but we’re not yet at the level of Shitworld where unpopular and unappealing ideas can effectively be presented as themselves and on their own merits. We are heading in th...