rb Page 323 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Jerk Off In A War Zone: Servicemembers Weigh In
Last week, we published a military doctor's very useful field guide to masturbating while on active duty. Unsurprisingly, it elicited plenty of comment on the topic from experienced servicepeople, some of which we have collected for your enjoyment. Got anything to add? Leave a comment in the discus...

Why Is Geno Auriemma Tapping Baylor Coach Kim Mulkey's Ass In This Photo?
The Associated Press last night put 18 photos from the Baylor-UConn women's basketball game in its image archive. One of them is the photo you see to the right (click to enlarge), which moved on the wire with the following explanation-free caption:...

Joe Flacco Wasn't The First To Consider Leaving The Sideline To Tackle An Opponent
After the Super Bowl, it was revealed that Joe Flacco had seriously considered running onto the field from the sideline to tackle Ted Ginn if Ginn had broken off a big kick return on the last play of the game. Flacco's idea was a ridiculous one, and would have resulted in the 49ers being awarded a ...

The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In Afghanistan
The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain i...

Will Eating Decades-Old Athlete Candy Bars Kill You? A Taste Test
"You're not going to eat it, are you?" the eBay seller asked, after we had completed our purchase. "People have been asking me if they can eat it, and that's probably not a good idea."...

This TV News Anchor Just Keeps Doing An Inadvertent Blowjob Pantomime
Global Saskatoon proudly trumpets the program hosted by anchor Lisa Dutton and weather specialist Kevin Stanfield as "Saskatoon's #1 Morning Newscast." This video is just a taste, but it does demonstrate the show's enthusiasm for having its hands wrapped around some of the hardest news in Canada....

Is Trevor Bauer's Terrible New Rap Song A Diss Track Directed At Miguel Montero?
Trevor Bauer is one of the most highly touted pitching prospects in baseball. He is also a terrible, terrible rapper and possibly kind of a dick. When he was traded from the Arizona Diamondbacks to the Cleveland Indians in the offseason, his former teammate and catcher Miguel Montero made some poin...

Tuesday Night Fights: Four Ladies, One Elevator Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "quebra pau no elevador." Tonight's commentator: Emma Carmichael. (Coming next week: Redneck action, yo.)...

Ohio State Forced To Clarify That Woody Hayes Never Let A Turtle Bite His Penis
Urban Meyer was a featured speaker at this weekend's Ohio High School Coaches' Convention. It might never have been noticed, except for one story that grabbed the interest of CoachingSearch.com:...

Larry Bird's Son Allegedly Tried To Run Over His Ex-Girlfriend With His Car
Connor Bird, the 21-year-old son of NBA legend Larry Bird, was arrested on Sunday by the Indiana University police department after allegedly trying to hit his ex-girlfriend with his car. According to police, Bird and his ex-girlfriend got into an argument in his apartment, which ended with him thr...

Two Savannah State Students Recorded Themselves Sneaking Into The Super Bowl
If walking past dozens of police and security guards while sneaking into the Super Bowl is not brazen enough for you, these two guys decided to film themselves doing it, too. According to Savannah Morning News, what you see below is "footage of how they snuck into the stadium just in time for Beyo...

<i>Saturday Night Live</i>'s Cold Open Spoofed The Super Bowl Blackout
It's been a week since the Super Bowl, but Saturday Night Live is a weekly show, unfortunately airing the night before Super Bowl Sunday, so they just got around to pointing out the uselessness of studio shows. Keenan Thompson as James Brown guides the skit and has some fun when, at his wit's end, h...

Should You Storm The Court? An All-Purpose Guide
Four of the top five teams in college hoops lost on the road this week. When that happens, students storm courts. Illinois hits a last-second bunny to break a tie with No. 1 Indiana? That's a stormin'. TCU, heretofore winless in the Big 12, never trailed on the way to embarrassing No. 5 Kansas? That...

Five New Jersey Mayors Are Threatening To Withhold Police And Emergency Services From Next Year's Super Bowl
Many a lame observation has been made about the likelihood that next year's Super Bowl at MetLife Stadium will be ruined by bad weather like the stuff we've got now. It's silly. Rare is the storm that dumps a foot of snow on the New York metropolitan area, and rarer still is the football fan that wo...

Louisiana Hates Snow, Is A Buzzkill
Remember Patriots-Raiders in 2001? The Snowplow Game? Dolphins-Cowboys on Thanksgiving 1993? A bunch of games from the 1940s and 50s that most of us weren't alive for? Snow games might be low scoring, but they are awesome, and people want more of them....

What One Writer Learned At Bleacher Report University
Nick Bond, writing for our friends at The Classical, recently went through the training program at Bleacher Report, a sort of orc pit out of which all B/R writers must climb before they write for the site. Bond's entire piece is well worth your time, but the best artifact is this horrifying paragra...

Roundup: The Best Beyoncé Photoshop Contest Submissions
We knew that a Beyoncé-themed Photoshop contest would yield hilarious results, and you guys did not disappoint us. Here are the best of your submissions. ...

This Photo Of The Georgetown And Butler Bulldogs Is Just The Cutest Goddamn Thing
The Georgetown Hoyas and Butler Bulldogs each have a pair of adorable bulldog mascots. Today, Georgetown Jack and Georgetown Jack Jr. welcomed Butler Blue 2 and Bulter Blue 3 (Butler Blue 1 is apparently dead retired. Sad face.) to their campus for a summit of adorability. That's how we got the pic...

Jim Harbaugh Still Wants Penalties Called, Even If It's Late In The Super Bowl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The 49ers coach is still hung up on that holding no-call....