rbi Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baltimore Celebrates Roger Maris' Long Overdue Second Asterisk
Well lookie what happens when the Baltimore Orioles manage to win a few games in a row: They walk big ceremonial checks out at Camden Yards and make a scene about rewritten baseball history....

Female Driver Plows Into Reader's Dunkin' Donuts This Morning: His Report
Reader Eddie B. was enjoying a French cruller this morning at a Westchester Dunkin' Donuts when this lady, in an apparent rush, drove through the store. He writes in:...

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: John Jenkins, Vanderbilt University
Today's nominee is Vanderbilt guard, John Jenkins, and his stunning essay about...meat? Women? Women who don't eat meat? It manages to be both sexist and anthropological and pro-meat....

World Cup Open Thread: Australia-Serbia
The Socceroos have their work cut out for them if they want to advance to the knockout stages. If they even want to start going through all the tie-breaker scenarios, they need to win this game. Comment and follow the action below....

World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Serbia
No team looked better in its first game than Germany. The Serbians, on the other hand, did not impress and will be all but eliminated if they lose today. Comment and make World War I jokes below....

World Cup Open Thread: Serbia-Ghana
Serbia tries to turn off The Black Stars. Aleksander Hemon is confused as to whom to root for. Serbia. Ghana. World fucking Cup. Read some Aleksander Hemon before the game, he's the tops....

Vandy Pitcher Takes Liner Off Knee, Still Gets The Assist
Corey Williams, a redshirt freshman at Vanderbilt, had his knee obliterated by a hot shot up the middle and still recorded the 1-3 putout. I hope the next mound he pitches on has a ramp though....

One Guess As To Whom Lionel Richie's Rooting For: Murray State-Vanderbilt Open Thread (UPDATE With Video)
Vandy is on upset alert as they take on the Ohio Valley Conference champion Murray State Racers. Comments addressing the matter of which school has the superior psychology program are welcome....

It's Great To Have You With Us: Your College Hoops Open Thread
Mike Patrick's so excited, and he just can't hide it. Join him and yourselves for some basketball! Duke-Georgetown's at 1; six freshmen, including young sensation John Wall, will play in Vanderbilt-Kentucky at 4; Kansas battles Kansas State at 7. [ESPN]...

Last Night's Winner: Clappers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who enjoy giving standing ovations every time they hear something they like. Try this in your regular life today and see how it goes....

The Best Night Of The Week To Get Piss Drunk
It’s Friday. A glorious weekend of drinking awaits you. You can hardly wait. It’s not five yet, but you yearn to break free of work NOW and drench yourself head to toe in pure Thunderbird....

BREAKING: Frog (Q-Dying)
The helmet-happy Frog, of our NFLHOTW series appears to be quite ill and unable to recreate football plays this week. Adjust your fantasy football animal rosters accordingly. Developing......

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Touchdown, Big Boy
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Favre Did It!
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Frank Gore's 80-Yard Gallop
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Stokley's 'Miracle' Touchdown
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Can Someone Please Adopt This Gerbil And Frog For The Weekend?
Our original adoptive family flaked. Our new one can't come until Monday, so if any kind NYC readers are nearby today and can care for them this weekend, I'd appreciate it. [Deadspin]...

Sweet Vindication for Stephen A. Smith
An arbitrator has ruled that his demotion/dismissal from the Philadelphia Inquirer way back in January 2008 was "unjust", and has ordered the negotiation of an "appropriate remedy". I'm sure we could come up with a few suggestions....

His Name Is Also What the Police Did
Kansas Jayhawks basketball player Chase Buford — son of San Antonio Spurs general manager R.C. Buford — was arrested on suspicion of driving while hammered. [KMBC]...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Rangers Ballpark In Arlington
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Rangers Ballpark In Arlington....