red Page 295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Young Astros Fan Was Not Bashful About Flipping The Reds Off Last Night
The Houston Astros averted their 75th loss of the season last night in no small part because of some leftfielder named J.D. Martinez's two-RBI double to left in the seventh. This was an overwhelmingly awesome moment for one excitable boy fan who flipped a double bird....
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...
Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...
This Woman's Kneecap Is Pretty Sure That Asdrubal Cabrera Hit A Two-Run Homer Last Night
In the eighth inning of the Indians-Red Sox game last night, with the game tied at five runs apiece, Asdrubal Cabrera's hit a line drive to right field that was initially ruled a single. Umpires reviewed the play and called it a homer — Cabrera's second of the night — to give Cleveland a two-run l...
Nick Young Is An Unexpected Contender For The NBA's Premier Hipster
We've had some discussion in the Deadspin office today about the use of the word "hipster," and whether or not we can apply the term to Washington Wizards guard Nick Young, who scored 60 points in a Drew League game last night. Dickey claims that the term is too "fraught" and complicated to be so li...
If The Lockout Persists, Kobe Bryant Has a Highlight Reel That Might Interest The LA Galaxy
Your morning roundup for Aug. 1, the day we learned what booze is doing to Britain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Chris And Carmelo's Excellent Chinese Adventure Continues With Interpretive Masked Opera Dance
Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony and Dwyane Wade are all on board for this year's week-long Jordan Brand Flight Tour in China, during which the players will "introduce China specific editions of [Nike's] signature products that takes inspiration from the Chinese culture as well as the athlete's style o...
A Ball From Josh Beckett Touches This Child Like Nothing Else Can
Baseballs are the most important thing on earth. It's time we stopped pretending they aren't....
A Poem For Albert Haynesworth, Composed Solely Of Media Descriptions
Awful Albert, Abysmal Albert: Attitude-afflicted wash-up. Massive and huge and fat and lazy and difficult....
Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....
This Is How Kris Draper Ends: Not With A Bang But A Premature Photo Caption
After being traded to the Red Wings for the princely sum of one American dollar, Kris Draper racked up quite the career over 17 years in Detroit. But this past season was a disappointing one for the 40-year-old Draper, in which he missed nearly half his team's games with injuries and (more tellingly...
Trent Williams Will Soon Be Wearing A $150,000 Silverback Gorilla Chain In The Club
One of Dan Steinberg's readers directed him to a video (see below) in which a jeweler shows off one of the more absurdly blingy items a professional athlete has ever commissioned. It's a black-and-white diamond encrusted silverback gorilla chain for Redskins tackle Trent "Silverback" Williams. Supp...
Justin Abdelkader Would Bomb Michigan's Big House Off The Map If He Could
The Red Wings' Abdelkader, a former Spartan, took a ride with the Blue Angels in an F/A-18 Hornet. "We flew over Ann Arbor, went over the Big House – if we'd had had a couple bombs on it, maybe we would have dropped a couple on there." He's joking, we think. [Detroit Free Press]...
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part V: Return To River Bend
We already posted your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is nailed to a cross while dogs gnaw off its toes. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All...
Here's The Harry Potter-Referencing Legal Brief The ACLU Filed In The Dumbass Dan Snyder Libel Suit
The ACLU filed a brief yesterday in D.C. Superior Court slamming Dan Snyder for his dumbass libel lawsuit against the Washington City Paper and asking the court to toss out the case. D.C. councilmember Mary Cheh joined the brief, along with a raft of influential news organizations such as The Americ...
In Honor Of Chris Osgood's Retirement, Here's A Video Of Him Beating Up Patrick Roy In 1998
Osgood retired today, after 17 years in the NHL and three Stanley cups. Goodbye, sir. We'll always have that stupid helmet....
Arian Foster Stays In Shape By Riding A Mechanical Bull While Jared From Subway Looks On
Houston Texans running back Arian Foster rode a mechanical bull for a Subway-promotion-cum-charity-thing on Thursday. Jared looked on, with some other dude, and perhaps no one else....
If You Didn't Watch The 15th Annual Summer Redneck Games On Saturday, You Missed Out
The 15th annual Summer Redneck Games happened on Saturday, in East Dublin, Georgia, and we weren't there. This we regret. Thankfully the Macon Telegraph did attend....
The First Casualty Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit Might Be Dan Snyder's Dumbass Lawyer
Failed journalist and wretched lawyer Dave Donovan announced today that he's leaving his job as Chief Operating Officer of the Redskins to return to the law firm whence he came (and where, ostensibly, lawyers can actually convince clients not to file dumbass lawsuits). Donovan attributes his decisio...
Bad Beats: Adrian Gonzalez Will Win Tonight's Home Run Derby
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....