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What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Your Complete Source For Complete Yankees Complete Red Sox Completely
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

New Orleans TV Network Hires Notoriously Flaky Fred Hickman
Hickman, formerly of CNN, ESPN, and the YES Network, heads down to New Orleans to be sports director at WVUE-TV. SportsGrid also mentioned Hickman's checkered job past which were highlighted in this little Deadspin post: "Number ten...Fred." (PHOTO: Erskine.edu)...

A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Yankees-Freaking-Red Sox; Also, Herm Edwards Is Still Yelling
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

This Evening: Brad Marchand Knows Kris Draper's Daughter Once Pooped In The Stanley Cup, Right?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 29, the day we first heard your college actually existed. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

There Were 347 Fans At That First Reds-Marlins Game Yesterday
"After the second game of the double-dip, the official attendance number was 22,505, but don't try convincing one of the few actually at the game in person." Like the guy who actually counted them all by hand. [@790Justin, via NYDN]...

This Evening: Still Trying To Score Tickets For That Reds-Marlins Doubleheader?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 24, the day we learned how much to tip whom, and for what. Photo credit @johnfayman, via The Big Lead. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Albert Haynesworth Has Two Words For Washington
It's not "fuck you." It might as well be....

Charles Mann Will Have You Know That He's Totally Straight
On the sidelines with a mic for last night's Washington/Indianapolis game, former Redskin Charles Mann complimented the heck out of safety LaRon Landry as O.J. Atogwe took it all in. Talking about how he looked fantastic. But wait, wait, not like that. He's happily married. To a woman. Totally str...

Tonight, One Baseball Player Ran His Fingers Through An Opposing Player's Hair
Tipster Michael M. shared this picture he took off of his television after the Reds/Nationals game commenced following a 38-minute delay. It's titled, "Brandon Phillips likes Michael Morse's pretty hair." Anyway, Phillips went 3-for-4 with an RBI while Morse was 0-for-3 with a run in the Nationals'...

Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On
Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence....

Watch The Red Sox Turn A 5-4-3 Triple Play Tonight
Hooray. Because the Red Sox really needed this to reverse the fortunes of their horrible season....

We Are All Dave McKenna CLXXXIX
Blame me, the fucking new guy, but this should have been in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin feature, as it has been pretty much every other day. Anyway, here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's du...

SWAT Team Called To Home Of Former Patriots And Notre Dame Defensive Coach
"A SWAT team has responded to the Northbrook Shores subdivision in Granger after shots were reportedly fired inside at a home in the 10000 block of Glynwater Ct. This was originally called in as a domestic dispute just before 1 p.m. A neighbor told WSBT the home is owned by Corwin Brown, a former N...

The Philadelphia Union's Cryptic "New Player Announcement" Means Freddy Adu Is MLS-Bound
According to a press release sent out by the Philadelphia Union around 3:30 p.m., the team "will introduce their newest team member" at noon. Their CEO, manager and "new team member" will all be available for comment....

Science! Picks Your BCS Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Predictalator is back, determining the participants and outcomes of every Bowl game....

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....

David Ortiz Got His Fucking RBI After All
Remember when David Ortiz barged into Terry Francona's press conference and demanded an RBI that had been stricken from the record books? Well, he's gotten it back, Scoggins be damned:...

David Ortiz Wants His Fucking RBI
Before last night's game, Ortiz crashed Terry Francona's press conference with some strong language and poor timing. "I'm fucking pissed. We need to have a talk."...