red Page 328 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Occasional Update On Witchcraft Tomfoolery In The AL East
A Boston-based Yankees fan litters grass from Yankee Stadium in Fenway Park to jinx the Sox, and the construction worker who planted a Boston jersey in the Bronx claims his hex is working. In his magical kingdom, maybe. [NY Post]...
Joey Votto: Latest Baseball Player To Be Stricken With A Severe Case Of The Greinkes
It was suspected that Joey Votto's "inner-ear infection" was more substantial after the Reds' Italian bopper DL-d on May 30, but now it's been confirmed that he too is suffering from"stress-related issues."...
Yes, We've Seen The Alleged Kobe Accuser Rap Video. No, It's Not Actually Her.
So this video you guys keeping sending us? The one called "KOBE'S ACCUSER FREESTYLE RAPS"? Here's the thing: It's not Kobe's accuser. Meet Whitney Teubner, Los Angeles-based funny lady and member of comedy troupe Studio Fred. [Studio Fred]...
Tennessee's Ingenious Plan To End The Recession Hits A Snag
Tennessee plans a new tax on professional athletes—but not NFL players because "NFL rules would have penalized the state had it included their guys." Also, the Smokey Mountains to be renamed the Goodell Hills. [On The Forecheck]...
David Ortiz Suffering From Mr. Magoo Syndrome
There are already a million theories as to why David Ortiz has suddenly and cruelly turned into Junior Ortiz, but now David has one of his own to throw into the mix. He needs thicker glasses....
Red Wings Show Their Age, Penguins Show Them The Door
For the first time in the Stanley Cup Finals, the Red Wings looked sad and old, while the younger, vitamin-eating Penguins skated circles around them to even the series. And none of us stayed up to watch "The Tonight Show."...
I Guess Pittsburgh Isn't Laying Down Quietly
The Penguins got a home game last night and now everything has changed! After taking care of Detroit in a must-win Game 3, the Stanley Cup Finals have become, say it with me ... a series....
Howling Wolves And Scary Wizards Aren't Good Enough For Red Sox Nation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
FIGJAM Returns, Some People Depart
This is actually good news for those who like golf and story lines ready-made for sports columnists aching to showcase their Nicholas Sparks technique: Phil Mickelson will return to the PGA Tour, including the U.S. Open....
Redick And Morrison, Reunited And It Feels So Good
"Remember when they cried in college? Remember when they played Halo against each other? They were like Magic and Bird in college, except that they weren't in any way." Redick scored seven points in the conference finals. Morrison hasn't played since April 14. Guess that settles SI's cover question!...
Red Wings Wondering If Game 3 Could Please Be Played Tonight
Everyone was a little concerned about the "two games in two days" thing, especially the Detroit Red Wings who are old and don't walk so good anymore, but after the way they've handled the Penguins this weekend, they would probably like to wrap things up with a day-night doubleheader today....
How Does Marian Hossa Feel About His Choice Right Now?
The best subplot of the Stanley Cup Finals is the tale of Marian Hossa, who turned down a long-term deal from Pittsburgh after last year's Final to join up with the team that vanquished him and his Pengiuns. I bet he didn't expect to run into those guys again....
Todd Tichenor Got His Money's Worth Last Night
Umpire Todd Tichenor made history (maybe? probably not) when he ejected four people in one inning of the Red Sox-Twins game last night. Hey, when you're a temporarily fill-in just called up from the minors, you've got to take your shots when you can get them....
Spanish Matador Messes With Bull, Gets Horns
Bullfighter Israel Lancho is in critical condition after being gored by his "opponent" in Madrid on Wednesday. I guess that in addition to the horns, you also occasionally get an eight-inch wide perforation in your lower abdomen. (Amazing [and graphic] photos and video below, so proceed at your own ...
Rick Majerus, Communicator Extraordinaire
From a review of Lance Allred's Longshot: The Adventures of a Deaf Fundamentalist Mormon Kid and His Journey to the NBA: "[Majerus] had a habit of calling Lance 'cunt extraordinaire' and ... would sometimes spell out 'cunt' with his fingers to make sure there was 'no miscommunication.'" [Cleveland S...
How Conan O'Brien Ruined The Stanley Cup Finals
For the first time in 54 years, two Stanley Cup Finals games will be played on back-to-back nights. Why the rush? Because NBC doesn't want boring old hockey games cluttering up their precious Law & Order reruns....
Somewhere, Andy Bernard Is Crying To His Banjo
It was one of those rare games when it was perfectly acceptable for the common spectator — OK, me — to switch allegiances on every score, even though I didn't actually care who won. Also, players on both teams wore those uncomfortably large triangles of eye-black. It was college lacrosse at its fine...
Monday's Lax Final Set, No One Outside Upstate New York Notices
Syracuse slams Duke in the Greg Paulus Bowl, Cornell shocks — shocks! — No. 1 Virginia in the nightcap. There really is nothing going on today. Softball on ESPN, lacrosse on ESPN2, Bernie Williams playing jazz on YES. Plus, Daulerio's making a packing list and checking it twice. [ESPN]...
Yankee Stadium Threatening To Get 100 Percent More Insufferable
Great news! The most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in college football wants to join forces with the most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in baseball. Yes, folks: Notre Dame wants to play football in shiny new Yankee Stadium....
Holy Crap, David Ortiz Hit A Home Run
Light-hitting Boston infielder becomes the 320th major league player to hit a home run this season. It's okay to believe in America again, people. [Boston Herald]...