red Page 347 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Schilling's Doctor Perfects The Art Of Crap-Talking
Apparently, even Curt Schilling's personal physicans have big mouths. In an act of either monumentally selfish publicity hounding or a Herculean display of testicular fortitude, Dr. Craig Morgan, Schilling's "personal doctor", said that Curt was so infuriated with the Red Sox handling of his bum sho...

Ortiz Slump Officially Over. Thanks, Yankees!
Here's the thing, Yankees fans. You may have thought that you were heading off some sort of curse by digging up that David Ortiz jersey that was buried beneath your new stadium. But consider this: While the jersey remained buried, it's owner was hitting .070; last in the majors. In his first game ba...

New York Now Free From The Menace Of Buried Cloth
There have been a little more than 9,000 unsolved murders in New York City since 1985; many of the victims buried in cement, do doubt. But thank God we've solved this case: The Yankees have dug up a Red Sox jersey on Sunday that had been planted beneath their new stadium by a construction worker. An...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while patiently waiting for Tiger to turn it up a notch... • MLB: New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox. Sigh [ESPN] • Hockey: New Jersey Devils at New York Rangers and San Jose Sharks at Calgary Flames. [Versus] • Animation: The Simpsons. Thank god. [FOX]...

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man
The Visitor's Locker Room compares Green to a legendary infomercial pitchman, but I've always enjoyed this guy... ...

Lance Allred Is Not The Smiling Face Of Polygamy
Cleveland Cavaliers bench player Lance Allred was raised on a polygamist compound until the age of 13, and since, you know, that’s been in the news lately, CBS “The Early Show” interviewed him about it this morning. We wouldn’t say it went well....

The Ones Meet The Eights
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...

Buckner's Awkward Re-Return To Fenway
I guess it's not really the appropriate time where you sprint out to the mound, but dude, honestly, he's walking out there like he just let the ball go threw his legs again. Then again ... that is the only reason he's out there. So, in reality, he has to make that long fucking walk again (longer eve...

Seriously, This Is Getting Ridiculous
The photos of Roy Williams signing the belly of a Hooters girl provide a cute, funny moment for Kansas fans and other Williams detractors who may think a man of such coaching stature should not be hanging around with the jiggly-boobed wing-servers. But perhaps even more fascinating than that was th...


Terror From The Sky At Fenway Park
It may seem as if I'm writing this post under the influence of peyote, and believe me, I'm not above trying that. But in this case I'm sober and it's all true: A girl who was part of a school group touring Fenway Park on Thursday was attacked by a red-tailed hawk, who delivered a decisive hawk beat-...

Take A Peek At Baseball's Next Big Thing
According to my calculations, the last pitcher to strike out 10 in his Major League debut was Daisuke Matsuzaka, last season. The last one to throw five perfect innings in his debut was the immortal Ken Cloude, in 1997 (do you know the team?). And the last Cincinnati Red to do either was ... well, n...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

The Tao Of Fred Ex
For those of you saw the sleazy, magazine-licking photos of George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson circulating around the web over the last few days, you may have noticed this picture of former Eagles wideout (and substitute teacher) Freddie Mitchell randomly popping up.in the photo book from that...

Red Sox Fans, Spread Among The 100,000. What Could Go Wrong?
We really wish we would have attended the Red Sox-Dodgers exhibition game at the Coliseum last weekend, if just because a fight was inevitable....

China Has Addressed Our Pooping Needs
Breaking news in the Beijing Olympics controversy: They're fixing the toilets. I've prayed for this day (dabs at eye with hankie). It makes sense. The Chinese government realized that if it wants the Olympics to run efficiently, then it needs to address this pressing issue. Simply put, American athl...

Your NL Central "Preview"
OK, now before you start hollering, no, we did not pick the Cardinals to win the division. And yes, that's the first time that's happened since we started this here site....

Hit This Truck, Win The Power Of Omniscience
The Cincinnati Reds are hosting a promotion this year that will award one lucky fan with a brand new truck if any particular Red happens to hit the truck with a home run. The truck is perched in center field, 500 feet away. It's a neat promotion. Except that it's physically impossible for anyone to ...

Japan Games End, But Opening Day Is Just Beginning
This photo pretty much explains the lunacy of the Red Sox-A's series in Japan. They had all this pageantry before the second game. Each of these teams is pretty much going to have four opening days. You could argue the Red Sox will have five....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after posing for this handsome mug shot ... • College basketball: NIT quarterfinal, Massachusetts at Syracuse (7 p.m., ET). Doesn't seem right that Georgetown is at home and Syracuse is still playing, but whatever. [ESPN] • College women's basketball: NCAA Div. I Women's Tournament, se...