red Page 346 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Is This Old Man In My Online Baseball Schedule?
So I'm perusing the Giants schedule on their MLB site and look what I see on May 22. Apparently we're all going to the movies! I expect to see ads on the periphery of my baseball schedule, but within the schedule itself? It's just one small step from that to Doritos ads on players' uniforms. (They'r...
Place Bets On The Next NBA Stoner
This has certainly been covered elsewhere — most excellently by TrueHoop - but we really can't get over the "Josh Howard is a terrible person for smoking weed" meme. As Henry Abbott put it, "We're not alarmed that one young person smoked pot. We're alarmed that anyone admitted it." Fitting, not even...
Charlie Weis Can't Win On The Field, But Wins Off Of It
One thing that was brought up on the Best Damn Sports Show last night prior to Will's segment was a quote made last week from Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis. Weis was speaking at a Gettysburg Notre Dame Alumni event and made this comment in regard to ND's losing record last season:...
But Where Are Rich Garces' Tits?
And...we're off. Welcome to today's first plummet into non-newsworthy despicability intended for the sole purpose of making your work day more amusing....
A USC Football Player Got A Low Test Score? What?
"If your Wonderlic score is lower than the age of consent in your state, you may be a redneck." I'm not all that convinced that IQ testing is all that relevant when it comes to drafting NFL quarterbacks, but I will say this: If I needed a partner to diffuse a bomb, I'd pick LSU Louisville quarterbac...
So Let Me Introduce To You, The One And Only Jimmy Shields ...
There's no way to sugarcoat this so I'm just going to say it: We live in a world where the Rays and the Marlins are both in first place. It's a world where James Shields outpitches Josh Beckett, where Sweet Caroline is played at Tropicana Field, and where Manny Ramirez is stealing bases. Me no like ...
1st Round, Fourth Overall: Raiders Select Darren McFadden
It's time to bring the mood down a little, dim the lights, turn off the laugh track. Think of this as the portion of Comic Relief when Whoopie, Billy, and Robin would drop the shtick and talk seriously about whatever the hell Comic Relief was supposed to benefit....
Red Sox Wine List Thankfully Missing "Sweet Carowine"
The Red Sox, hawking wine for charity and sheer annoyance. [Sox & Dawgs]...
Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...
So, Will Anybody Draft Troubled Tommy Blake?
One of the best stories featured on ESPN's Schaaptastic E:60 show was Michael Smith's profile of troubled Texas Christian University defensive lineman Tommy Blake. Blake, who at one point in his college career was on the fast-track to the NFL, derailed early his senior year. He was a no-show for man...
Favre To Grace Cover Of Madden '09, It Seems
This not-so-wild speculation courtesy of GameDaily — and seemingly confirmed Awful Announcing and by us, through a source who was at the Letterman taping that airs tonight — reveals that Brett Favre will be on the cover of the Madden 09....
Ken Griffey Jr., Quiet, Slugging Non-Steroid User
Ken Griffey Jr. is three homers away from his 600th, which would make him only the sixth man to reach the lofty plateau. The other five are Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron and ... Sammy Sosa. Sportaphile wonders: Why isn't everybody talking about how amazing a milestone it is?...
Previewing The Red Wings-Avalanche
The NHL playoffs continue tonight with the Conference Semifinals. The five degenerates over at Melt Your Face Off will preview each matchup....
Raging Bull: More Trouble For Chicago's NBA Mascot
As we learned with this whole ugly Isiah Thomas thing, every NBA owner has his tipping point. Chicago Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf just may have reached his. It's the story you've heard so many times before: Colorful Bulls mascot Benny the Bull is being sued by an oral surgeon for an aggressive high-...
Hold Onto The Damn Ball, Dude
We've never been fortunate enough to grab a baseball at a game, but if we did, we suspect we'd jump around and act the fool for whatever camera happened to be within eye's reach. We'd be that excited. One thing you can guarantee, though, is that we'd hang onto the damned ball. Unlike this Red Sox fa...
Everyone In Boston Is Already Drunk
We're not enough of a Bostonite to understand that full drunken social significance of Patriots Day, but we assume we'll have a smaller Boston readership today; they're all out drinking like crazy and screaming for Kenyans to run faster. Difficult to argue with that....
You Know It's Baseball Season When Fat Yanks-Red Sox Fans Are Killing Each Other
Last week, the Red Sox and Yankees battled it out at Yankee Stadium. You might have heard about it. But we just today saw this shot above and, more to the point, the rather amazing video after the jump of a real, live Yankees-Red Sox fan fight....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while making your girlfriend more realistic... • 6:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: 76ers at Pistons, Game 1. 8:30 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Hawks at Celtics, Game 1. Known to the highbrow basketball fans as the weekend's denouement. [TNT] • 8:00 p.m. — MLB: Mets at Phillies. Everything New York wan...
Marty Brennaman Is Unlikely To Receive A Statue Outside Wrigley Field
Marty Brennaman has been the voice of the Cincinnati Reds since 1974, taking over for, of all people, Al Michaels. He's a legacy broadcaster, like the Bucks and the Carays; his son Thom is a FOX broadcaster, works with him in Cincinnati and was once a Cubs broadcaster. Oh, yes, the Cubs: It appears ...