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Kornheiser, You're Being Glib
We mean no offense to Redskins fans, but when your owner is hosting Tom Cruise in his luxury box — when he's staying at your owner's house — we kind of think that maybe you deserve to lose....

One Last Victory Lap For A Deadspin Hall Of Famer
Ask yourself this: Would you sacrifice 1/17th of your yearly salary in return for one full day of irresponsible drunken sex with on a cruise ship, with the finest multiple partners that money can buy? If you answered yes, congratulations: You can hang with Fred Smoot....

NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....

Shuler Dangerously Close To Returning To Washington
So remember how former Redskins "quarterback" Heath Shuler is running for Congress? Well, it turns out, he actually is making serious gains in the polls, to the point that he's one of Democrats' key hopefuls for their attempt to take over the House of Representatives in the November elections....

Hall Of Fame Inductee: Vikings Sex Boat
Presenting the next member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......

"This Is The Parts Where They Say Who They Thinks Gonna Win"
In his nightmares, this is what Chris Fowler imagines every viewer of College GameDay is like....

Reality Intrudes For A Second
I hate to throw a bucket of cold water on everyone right before the big college football orgy, but I feel like I should probably mention that Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester was diagnosed with cancer yesterday....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: JJ Redick
Former Duke popped collar shooting guard J.J. Redick has been a consistent source of amusement around here for a while now, from the typical bashing of Duke to his crying during the NCAA Tournament to his weird video game experiences...

One Probably Should Have Done This A While Ago, We'd Think
If you are rubbing your eyes, not quite believing that this picture is actually what you think it is, do not doubt your lying eyes: This is indeed a shot of a guy fumigating the Minnesota Vikings locker room....

Finally, Daniel Snyder Finds A Colleague Shorter Than He Is
So you know how Tom Cruise — he's an actor, been in a few movies, kind of squirrely, if you ask us — got fired by his studio recently and said he would find an independent financier for his future projects....

NFL Season Preview: Washington Redskins
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

Not To Pile On The Red Sox Here, But ...
We know that often American celebrities will do advertisements in other countries — or their home countries — that they might not necessarily want to be seen doing here. But that doesn't change the bewilderment of seeing David Ortiz ... doing a boner commercial? Really? Can anybody translate?...

A Tortured Tour Through Red Sox Land
After the brutality of the last few days, it seems almost cruel to make the Red Sox and their fans go through one more game this afternoon. At this point, what's one more loss and humilation? Even the famous Boston Massacre was only four games....

The Closer: "Those Guys Are Not Playing Around"
Notes from a day in baseball:...

This Is Rapidly Becoming Anti-Climactic
The Yankees are in the process of ghetto-stomping the Red Sox again today, probably ensuring victory in the five-game series, and sort of letting the air out of the build-up for the series. The game was tied heading into the top of the 6th, until the Red Sox walked in two runs, and then gave up a ...

Here We Go Again
We take a lot of pride around these parts in avoiding the typical East Coast knob-slobbering that goes on; rarely do people accuse one of a "Central Illinois Bias." But even we can't ignore a five-game series at Fenway Park in a tight August pennant race between the Red Sox and Yankees. Bronx Bant...

Yeah, We Want To Simulate THIS Guy
A couple of weeks ago, we told you about JJ Redick's appearance on the cover of NCAA College Hoops 2K7. Well, it turns out, it's much worse than you thought: They're actually doing the whole mo-cap suit thing to simulate his movements....

NBA Rookies, Striking A Pose
Over the weekend, the NBA had its Rookie Photo Shot, which features various NBA pups posing in various manly poses, except for JJ Redick, who of course looks like he's auditioning for the Rock Chalk Dance Team....

Free Post: Put Dawson In The Hall
Last week, we offered a free post anyone who could grab a Bruce Weber Bobblehead from a Schaumberg Flyers promotion. The blessed soul that is Jeff Kline, from a "hellhole of suburban vacuousness only seven miles away from Alexian Field," came through for us. So here's his free post, which has a nobl...