red Page 367 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chris Cooley's Pyrrhic Victory
The good news for Redskins TE Chris Cooley in last years game against Dallas is that he busted loose for three touchdowns in a 35-7 victory. The bad news was that in one of Cooley's four fantasy leagues, as noted here in the Washington Post, his fantasy opponent started Cooley against him. Cooley's ...
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Independents
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf, and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode an...
Ryan Freel's Little Friend
As we deal with the psychological ramifications of last night's backbreaking Cardinals walkoff loss to the Reds, and try to inspire ourselves to watch another game this afternoon, we turn our attention to Reds outfielder/infielder/drunken driver/scrappy hustler Ryan Freel. He's the Pete Rose-type of...
No, No, Not THAT Eddie Johnson
Yeah, see, yesterday was just a terrible day to be a former basketball player named Eddie Johnson who happened to not be accused of child molestation....
It's A General Manager Blood Feud!
We don't mean to imply that when you're screwed over by Washington Nationals GM Jim Bowden, it might be time to re-evaluate one's career choices, but ......
"Interests: Redskins, Clubs And GETTIN' DRUNK"
It just wouldn't be the NFL without some truly obsessed, frightening fans, and we've got some pretty worthy ones in the Dead Tree Crew, backers of the Washington Redskins and almost certainly the type of guys who beat up Daniel Snyder in high school....
Your Hollywood Minute
There's crazy, and then there's that special brand of crazy that is Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo. What would you do if you were a major league pitcher going for your 10th win of the season, as Arroyo will be doing on Thursday? Why, you'd dedicate the win to actress Bo Derek, naturally. Because she wa...
Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....
Finally Making Some Money Off Southeast Jerome
Fully capitalizing on something it stumbled across last season, the official Redskins site Redskins.com is now selling T-shirts adorned with every Clinton Portis character from his press conferences last year. Those who were with us last season will remember our schoolgirl crush on Portis, particu...
God, Training Camp Is So Disgusting
Far be it from us to tell any football team how to run their business, particularly during the big petri dish of sweat and blood and all kinds of other disgusting things in the midst of training camp, but we suspect a new policy the 'Skins have put into place might have been worthwhile to institut...
Next Up: Gran Turismo!
We are not, as of this writing, professional marketers. We are confused by what people use to sell their products. We skipped class a lot: Sorry....
Rain Delays Bore Adam Dunn
If you're a 6'6" power-hitting left fielder, and you've got some time on your hands, what do you do? Well, you call into Marty Brenneman's radio show and ask him if he has his shirt on....
Daniel Snyder Appreciates Your Checkbook
We have always found the notion of Fan Appreciation Days amusing. Even though every single salary of every single player in every single sport is paid for exclusively by fans — whether it be tickets, merchandise, cable bills, whatever — big-time sports still feel the need to acknowledge the fans o...
A.J Hawk's Shotgunnish Wedding?
If you were trying to book a wedding next March in Columbus, Ohio, over the last few months — not that anybody we know might have been — one of the primo spots in town was booked for a huge, lavish wedding between former Ohio State Buckeyes and current Green Bay Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk and La...
Where's The Love For Jered Weaver?
The headline on SI.com this morning reads, Weaver-Mania hits LA. As well it should: Jered Weaver won his seventh straight start on Sunday for the Angels ... that's seven career starts, and seven wins. Not since Fernando Valenzuela started 8-0 as a rookie for the Dodgers in 1981 has something like ...
Chalk One Up For The Little Guy
And so the debate rages: Does Johnny Damon, or doesn't he, suck? We refuse to take sides, but one thing we can report is that our nation's babies are now involved. A New Bedford housewife, still miffed over Damon's defection to the Yankees, had been trying to sell "Johnny Damon Sucks" baby bibs on...
The Return Of Portis' Head
We supposed part of us should be depressed by the news that Clinton Portis is taking his strangely brilliant "characters" from last season's Redskins press conferences and using them to shill for the NFL Network, but we can't quite summon up much outrage. Honestly? We're just happy to see the char...
The Closer: In Boston, Less Is More
Notes from a day in baseball ......