reds Page 102 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...

Whoever Broke Into Chris Cooley's Art Gallery Did Not Care Much For The Art
Local police in Leesburg, Va. are searching for the suspect that broke into Chris Cooley's art gallery on South King Street early Friday morning. Thankfully, no art or pottery was stolen in the burglary. More importantly, though, Chris Cooley owns an art gallery....

Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Your Complete Source For Complete Yankees Complete Red Sox Completely
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Yankees-Freaking-Red Sox; Also, Herm Edwards Is Still Yelling
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

There Were 347 Fans At That First Reds-Marlins Game Yesterday
"After the second game of the double-dip, the official attendance number was 22,505, but don't try convincing one of the few actually at the game in person." Like the guy who actually counted them all by hand. [@790Justin, via NYDN]...

This Evening: Still Trying To Score Tickets For That Reds-Marlins Doubleheader?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 24, the day we learned how much to tip whom, and for what. Photo credit @johnfayman, via The Big Lead. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Albert Haynesworth Has Two Words For Washington
It's not "fuck you." It might as well be....

Charles Mann Will Have You Know That He's Totally Straight
On the sidelines with a mic for last night's Washington/Indianapolis game, former Redskin Charles Mann complimented the heck out of safety LaRon Landry as O.J. Atogwe took it all in. Talking about how he looked fantastic. But wait, wait, not like that. He's happily married. To a woman. Totally str...

Tonight, One Baseball Player Ran His Fingers Through An Opposing Player's Hair
Tipster Michael M. shared this picture he took off of his television after the Reds/Nationals game commenced following a 38-minute delay. It's titled, "Brandon Phillips likes Michael Morse's pretty hair." Anyway, Phillips went 3-for-4 with an RBI while Morse was 0-for-3 with a run in the Nationals'...

Watch The Red Sox Turn A 5-4-3 Triple Play Tonight
Hooray. Because the Red Sox really needed this to reverse the fortunes of their horrible season....

We Are All Dave McKenna CLXXXIX
Blame me, the fucking new guy, but this should have been in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin feature, as it has been pretty much every other day. Anyway, here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's du...

Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....

David Ortiz Got His Fucking RBI After All
Remember when David Ortiz barged into Terry Francona's press conference and demanded an RBI that had been stricken from the record books? Well, he's gotten it back, Scoggins be damned:...

David Ortiz Wants His Fucking RBI
Before last night's game, Ortiz crashed Terry Francona's press conference with some strong language and poor timing. "I'm fucking pissed. We need to have a talk."...

This Young Astros Fan Was Not Bashful About Flipping The Reds Off Last Night
The Houston Astros averted their 75th loss of the season last night in no small part because of some leftfielder named J.D. Martinez's two-RBI double to left in the seventh. This was an overwhelmingly awesome moment for one excitable boy fan who flipped a double bird....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...

This Woman's Kneecap Is Pretty Sure That Asdrubal Cabrera Hit A Two-Run Homer Last Night
In the eighth inning of the Indians-Red Sox game last night, with the game tied at five runs apiece, Asdrubal Cabrera's hit a line drive to right field that was initially ruled a single. Umpires reviewed the play and called it a homer — Cabrera's second of the night — to give Cleveland a two-run l...