reds Page 114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...

Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...

Last Night's Winner: Boston Self-Pity
In sports everyone's a winner — some just win better than others. Like Boston pity-partiers ready to commemorate their return to being sad-sacks after a glorious run of over-confidence....

The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....

The Curious Case Of Jason Bay's Defense
Boston chose not to re-sign Jason Bay, in part, based on his below average defensive metrics. Well, the problem with UZR is that no one really knows how to calculate it; in the latest version, Bay's an above average outfielder....

Boston Fan Finally Picks A Winner
After a sweep three straight losses at the hands of Tampa Bay, the Red Sox fall into fourth in the AL East. The Boston media may be panicking, but at least one fan appears to have struck gold....

99 Problems, Of Which Brand Infringement Is One
Jay-Z, owner of the 40/40 Club chain, is suing slugger David Ortiz for allegedly swiping the 40/40 name for his own club in the Dominican Republic, called "Forty Forty," an apparent reference to a baseball achievement no one associates with David Ortiz....

The Boston Red Sox Will Brand Your Baby
"Every baby" born at Boston's Beth Israel will be indoctrinated into Red Sox Nation, whether you like it or not. The "Red Sox Babies" package includes hat, tote, and a lifetime of insufferability. [Beth Israel, "Benbino" pic via]...

Lou Piniella Bawls Out With His Balls Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Yankees Logo On Boston Landmark? Well...
It certainly looked like the interlocking NY was writ large on the side of the Prudential Center last night....

McNabb Now Officially A Redskin And The Eagles Are Now Officially Demolished
The longest tenured Philadelphia Eagle right now is safety, Quintin Mikell, who has been with the team since 2003....

Donovan McNabb Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Redskins quarterback (wow) Donovan McNabb, who stole a busy weekend show when he suddenly turned the tables on Philadelphia and became Bizarro Brett Favre....

Welcome To Baseball Season!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Redskins Have The Strangest Backfield Ever
Washington signs Willie Parker, planning to run the exclusive three-RB formation, in which he, Portis and Johnson line up, only to watch Jason Campbell doink the ball into the turf four yards from the line of scrimmage. [AP]...

Last Night's Winner: Steve Lavin's Wife
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Steve Lavin, who is not only young, well-groomed and gainfully employed, but also married to an attractive human female that (presumably) has sex with him....

The Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Another day, another report that St. John's has struck out with another candidate for its vacant coaching position. Doesn't anybody want this job? It's actually getting kind of pathetic....

Disgraced Human Mascot Sleeping With The Enemy
"God Bless America" singer and Yankees good luck charm Ronan Tynan, who had to move out of New York after allegedly making anti-Semitic remarks, has swapped pinstripes for a Red Sox jersey. Can they take Giuliani too? [NECN]...

Boston Fans To Pay For Right To Buy Drinks
Ah, the good old days when the creeping menace of seat licenses were only confined to actual sporting events. Not anymore, thanks to Jerry Remy's new sports bar, and its $500 season passes....

Last Night's Winner: The Boston Yankees
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ad sales software that scored another big success for targeted online marketing campaigns. Because who needs Yankee tickets more than the people of Boston?...