reds Page 113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cincinnati Reds To Commemorate 9/11 With Action-Packed Navy SEAL Demonstration
Tomorrow's Reds game will be a gala affair. They're celebrating Pete Rose breaking the hits record, honoring local firemen, and since it's 9/11, some Navy SEALs will be on hand to conduct an "extraction simulation" before delivering the game ball. [Cincinnati Enquirer]...

Red Sox Nation Is Made Up Of Lots Of White Women
Our friends at Gizmodo did some fancy-scientific breakdown of the language used overwhelmingly by specific races, and they found that the biggest outlier among white women is "The Red Sox." Black men, on the other hand, love "ESPN."...

Another Strongman Named Tito Emerges, This One Half-Naked
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Waiver Wire Drama Sends AL East Into A Tizzy
The Red Sox's nefarious plan to lose a bunch of games finally comes to fruition, as they put in a claim on Johnny Damon — to block the Rays from landing him. [Boston Herald]...

Stories That Don't Suck: The Shot Heard 'Round The World And The Greatest Lede Ever Written
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: a fitting memorial for Bobby Thomson....

The Reds-Cardinals "Brawl" Derided For Your Pleasure
For a second, last night's Cardinals-Reds "brawl" was pretty exciting, but only in the sense of "Oh, this'll be good." And then it wasn't good. For this reason, it deserves to be mocked. With video! Three times!...

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Donovan McNabb Has A Small Child In His Locker
Click to view Don't call Chris Hansen; Chris Cooley put it there to leap out and scare McNabb after the new QB finishes up with the media. Spoiler alert: it works. [Cooley Zone]...

Some Good Comes Out Of Albert Haynesworth's Unathleticsm
Free ice cream for everyone in Bethesda, Md., if Albert Haynesworth can pass his conditioning test....

Forbes Uses Science! To Prove Red Sox Have The Best Fans
The metrics: attendance, merchandise sales, and something called "in-market popularity." Which sounds like most fans rather than best, but who are we to argue with photo slideshows? [Forbes]...

Weekend Winner: Media Members In Better Shape Than Albert Haynesworth
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like various DC-area media members, who took a shot at completing the Redskins' conditioning test that the disgruntled Haynesworth has been unable to pass....

Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose? Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose.
Going with the same headline formula? Going with the same headline formula. You fuck. It is the end of the day, the end of the week, but not the end of your life, so go rejoice....

Phish Fans Call Out Fenway Girl Pissing In Public
A drunk, underage woman couldn't — or wouldn't — make it to the bathrooms at Fenway last night. This is her story....

Baltimore Radio Guy Loses His Mind Over John Riggins
Riggins has a new show on MASN, and to hype it up, he filmed a commercial at a generic football field. Problem is, it's not so generic: it's M&T Bank Stadium, home of the Ravens....

Mickey Mouse Assaulted For Supporting The Boston Red Sox
The All-Star Game is in Anaheim next month, so in the tradition of shameless corporate sponsorship, MLB created 30 Mickey Mouse statues, each one honoring a different pro team. Naturally, the Red Sox Mickey has been brutally violated....

Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....

Beware Ghana's Sex Machines
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Marco Scutaro Summer Jam Is Here
"Scuscuscutaro" has dropped and, as far as Phil Collins song parodies about journeymen shortstops go, it's excellent — streets ahead of that Pavement album about Jeff Hornacek. H/T BullfightsOnAcid....

Professional Sports Reaches Its Apogee: Drunken Little Person Berates Red Sox Fan
What's the only thing better than an intoxicated Rays fan — who happens to be a little person — threatening to fight a fat Red Sox fan? When somebody catches it on video....

Intern Horrors: A Reds Broadcaster Does His Best To Ruin Eric Davis Bobblehead Night
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today, there's a Cincinnati Red showing his true colors (it's envy!), a desk befouled, the depths of desperation, and our first badtern....