rent Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Antonio Bryant Mouths Off About ESPN Because Some Suggested He Mouthed Off A Lot
Antonio Bryant had a brilliant performance Monday night when he tallied 200 yards receiving, two touchdowns and an amazing one-handed end zone catch that sent Mike Tirico's heart aflutter. The 5-year wideout is enjoying a career year for the Bucaneers, after brief, unsuccessful stints with the Cowbo...
If A Game Lasts Longer Than Four Hours, Please Consult Your Doctor
A reader writes: "Hey guys, So I hate to have to play the "penis" card here, but somebody down in North Carolina needs to be admonished for selecting a logo with some very Freudian undertones."...
Nude High School Cheerleaders Now Less Nude, Sue School
It's a good thing they didn't have cell phones when I was in high school; I'd still be there trying to graduate. You may have heard of the Bothell, WA high school cheerleaders who took naked cell phone pictures of themselves and then "accidentally" sent them to the entire school. Well, their parents...
If This Is A Fling At Racial Profiling, They're Doing It Wrong
Community leaders are in an uproar over the situation at Danville (Ill.) High School, where the basketball coach, they say, used racial profiling when he cut eight members of the varsity team recently. Here's where they lost me, however: It's an all-black team. Racial profiling attempt in Danville, ...
Experience The Fun Of Minnesota's U.S. Senate Election Recount With The St. Paul Saints
Here's comedian and senatorial candidate Al Franken throwing out the first pitch at a St. Paul Saints game earlier this season. It was a wise move on Mr. Franken's part, considering that the Saints' attendance that day was 12,450, and he's currently trailing in his U.S. Senate recount with Norm Cole...
A Perfectly Reasonable Way To Solve A Dispute At A Youth Soccer Game
Just what's the point of having a concealed weapons permit if you can't pull your handgun on your child's soccer coach in a dispute over playing time? That's what 25-year-old Tye Burke of Lubbock, Texas is wondering today following the Saturday incident. Well, actually it was the female coach's husb...
USC Receiver's Dad to Pete Carroll: "Treat My Boy!"; Grandma: "You're Drama!"
Odd little story coming out of Trojan land - USC wide receiver Vidal Hazelton's dad is apparently none too happy with how the team's medical staff has dealt with his son's injuries. So much so that Dexter Hazelton took to putting pen to paper in an angry letter sent directly to Coach Pete Carroll, u...
Mound Visits By Dusty Baker Are Somewhat Unnerving To Nine-Year-Olds
What I learned this weekend: Dusty Baker can mismanage a pitching staff even if it consists of 9- and 10-year-olds. OK, in his defense, his team was enjoying a 25-3 lead when Baker inserted his son, Darren, in relief in the fourth inning on Saturday. Darren proceeded to pour gasoline on the fire by ...
Ill-Tempered Apple Calls Out Nightmare Ant In Fort Wayne Mascot Showdown
No, this isn't a peyote flashback; the above image is of a real minor league baseball mascot. This as-yet-unnamed, furious-looking apple represents the Fort Wayne TinCaps, the newest member of the Class-A Midwest League. You may know Fort Wayne as home of the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, an Indiana Pacers D...
Baby Sees First Brewers' Playoff Game, Cries, Spits Up
Award for most hardcore baseball fan, NL Central, goes to Niki O'Connor of Milwaukee. Not only did she walk to Miller Park while nine months pregnant to see the Brewers play the Cubs on the last day of the regular season, but she went into labor during the game, and refused to leave. The fun began w...
It's Melanie Hain's Turn To Bring The Team Snacks When She Says It Is
"I know what you're thinking; "Did she give me six orange wedges, or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. So you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" A Lebanon, Pa. woman had her concealed-weapons permit revo...
Marc Bulger Benched For Foggy-Headed Trent Green, John "Toot Toot" Clayton Reports
This is just a terrible start of the season for (fantasy) starting quarterbacks isn't it? St. Louis Rams' coach Scott Linehan, desperately trying to save his job, has decided to bench the struggling Bulger this week in favor of Trent Green for this week's game against the Bills, ESPN.com says. Lineh...
No Child Left Behind On The Stationary Bike
The great thing about growing old in the 21st century; no worries about ordering children to get off your lawn. That's because no self-respecting kid these days would be caught dead playing outside; it's too cold/humid, there's smog, Michael Jackson is roaming free, and as we know, the outdoors are ...
Rent a USC Song Girl for $150
The only catch is that you have to fill out a request form. Of course the form requires you to answer a few pressing questions. Such as, "What do you want the Song Girls to do?" I'm sure you can manage that. In fact, there's a good chance you were thinking of what you'd like the Song Girls to do, b...
Come Help The Jamestown Jammers Salute Slightly Flawed Things
If you can't make it out to see the New York Giants take on the New England Patriots in tonight's preseason game, why not do the next best thing?* The Jamestown Jammers minor league baseball team (Class A New York-Penn League) is holding its gala "Saltute to Imperfection Night" at Diethrick Park, wh...
Through The Looking Glass With Nine-Year-Old Jericho Scott
The parents of Jericho Scott, the nine-year-old New Haven, Conn. pitcher who was banned from pitching because he is too good, are officially suing the youth league that is disbanding his team. In response, the league held a press conference to tell their side of the story, and a huge mob of reporter...
Common Sense Strikes Out: The Curious Case Of Jericho Scott
Nine-year-old Jericho Scott has been banned from pitching in a New Haven, Conn., youth baseball league because he throws so hard that he frightens the other players, according to league officials. But he took to the mound on Saturday anyway, so the other team simply dropped their bats and left the f...
Jacko Turns 50, Hockey Night, And The Political Incorrectness Of Midget Wrestling
And so we come to the close of another Minor League Baseball season. And what a season it's been: We watched babies enjoying beer, were introduced to the magical wonders of Wizard Cat, and thrilled to the antics of a giant, dancing taco. The Macon Music announced with great fanfare, and then cancell...
It's Over: Minor League Baseball Gives One Candidate The Nod
We have a new President. I suppose they'll go on with these convention thingees anyway, because the deposit on the arenas are non-refundable. But we know who's going to win. Minor league teams in six cities handed out bobbleheads of the two Presidential candidates during special promotions last week...
State Supreme Court Justice Shows Bad Form
A New Jersey State Supreme Court Justice is being sued for allegedly using his title to intimidate school officials following a dispute between his son and one of his former high school football teammates at Haddonfield Memorial High School . The suit, filed by Conor Larkin, claims that Justice Rob...