rent Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goodell: Super Bowl In London? Are You High?
Did my eyes deceive me, or did the BBC report this morning that the Super Bowl is coming to London? Yep, here it is. Boy was Roger Goodell surprised when he found out....
Please Do Not Jostle Billy On The Ice
Toronto warmly embraces new non-contact youth hockey league. Just kidding; it's being shunned like the angel of death. [CityNews.ca]...
Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite:...
The Economy Is Booming, All Is Well
Club Seat has compiled a list of the most overpaid players in the NBA this season. Combined salaries of Raef LaFrentz and Steve Francis? $32,584,775. Combined game appearances? 0. [Club Seat]...
The Iowa Hawkeyes Are Already In Midseason Form
One should never go into spring break cold. It's important to ease into it with a few warmup public intoxication arrests, as these three Iowa football players can tell you....
If You've Eaten A Four-Pound Burger, Of Course You'll Need A Giant Plunger
Still grappling with the media frenzy over its monstrous 5,000-calorie burger, the West Michigan Whitecaps, masters of the metaphor, have installed a giant plunger in the outfield that squirts water on fans....
Former Gators Have Their Priorities In Order
Former Florida Gator Brent Wright is in a wee bit of trouble with his Croatian League basketball squad for oversleeping and missing an away game. Um, this photo may have something to do with that....
Minor League Team Invites You To Watch A Game FROM A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER
If your lifelong dream has been to watch a minor league baseball game from a 1978 GMC van parked just beyond the outfield near a major river, then you're in luck, my fat motivational-speaking friend....
Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....
Use All Of These You Want, You're Not Going To Help Sabathia
As is befitting a team with a mascot named Thunder, the Lake Elsinore Storm (Class A, California League) is giving out free samples of Subtle Butt anti-fart shields at their weekly all-you-can-eat Tuesday home games....
Nathan Moore Would Like To Know, Is That A Titleist?
It's hard to believe that the man pictured here is accused of attacking a young child with a golf club while out on the course. He looks so calm and centered....
Well To Be Fair, It Was A Bad Call
Parent sets some kind of record after being ejected for swearing at the refs after only 30 seconds ... from a fifth grade girls basketball game. [Des Moines Register]...
It's All Fun And Games Until Your Cheerleader Stripper Pole Photos Show Up On Facebook (With Update)
So if you're an adult and you host a party that includes high school cheerleaders, a stripper pole and a camera, you should pretty much just find the nearest jail and turn yourself in....
Sorry, BlueClaws' 'Kids Eat Free' Promotion Does Not Include Beer
What minor league baseball team dares to feed your kids for free at every 2009 home game? The Lakewood BlueClaws. Take that, stupid economy....
Drunk Dad Lets 8-Year-Old Son Drive; Hilarity Ensues
Two Major League Soccer coaches, an eight-year-old driving a van, an Albertson's parking lot, a bottle of Canadian whiskey ... that's a recipe for adventure right there....
Parents Beating Up Refs; How We've Missed You
This one comes from London, Ontario, and while I'm not sure what age the players are, I'm guessing they are mighty young. (I think it was Henry Kissinger who said that "hockey parents are so vicious, precisely because the players are so small.") The fight itself was largely uneventful—no charges wer...
Finish Your Anabolic Steroids Or There Will Be No Cartoons
Simply being hearty and cornfed is no longer enough of an edge for young Iowa athletes. Some dads feel that they've got to add a little something extra to their sons' morning Count Chocula....
New Jersey Senator Demands You T Up Those Cheerleaders
Governing a large state like New Jersey takes a special kind of politician, one with an iron will and mighty intelligence. Nothing can derail his mission ... except 11-year-old cheerleaders!...
The Year In ... Parents Gone Wild
So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: Parents gone wild....
Mets Welcome Redundant, Gramatically Questionable Triple-A Team
The New York Mets' Triple-A affiliate is now located in Buffalo, where it had been previously associated with the Cleveland Indians. But, I thought the plural of Bison was Bison? [New York Daily News]...