ric Page 669 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Rick Ankiel Section
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....
Rick Reilly Makes Eight Times As Much Money As Jonathan Papelbon
As Sussman put it, ESPN filled its "Badly Needed Smart-Alecky Middle-Aged White Guy Quota" by hiring Sports Illustrated's Rick Reilly, who filed his last SI column a couple of weeks ago. He won't start until June 1 of next year, which should give him plenty of time to hone those "multimedia" skills....
Just A Few More Weeks Until American Gladiators
Shouted over the PA, we hear directions given to these muscle-bound freaks of nature. The director says things like, "Howl for me, Wolf," and "More posing, Justice" and my personal favorite - "Look menacingly while you stare at your balls" (he was referring to the giant balls that were swinging from...
Peruvian Soccer Fans Are Easily Offended
In Peru, Efrain Viafara, a midfielder for Sport Ancash, created an uproar when he used his buttocks to trap the ball. His bit of unorthodox skill was interpreted as a mocking act by Universitario players, who chased Viafara. Fans began to fight in the stands, then poured onto the field before the re...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after mourning another Doonesbury war casualty ... • NFL: New England at Baltimore. And a quarterback named Kyle shall lead them ... [ESPN] • NHL: Dallas at Columbus. A blue, sport coat, and a pink, carnation (doo waa) I'm all dressed up for the dance ... [Versus] • College women's bas...
The Patriots Need A Theme Song
Determined to ruin a good thing, the Boston Globe somehow decided that the Patriots need a theme song. The easy way to do this would be to search through Tom Brady's iTunes folder until something clicks (Huey Lewis and the News!), but no, the Globe is putting it up to a vote. Poems, slogans and Chri...
Richard Gasquet Is Eager To Correct Your Misconceptions
You might remember tennis player Richard Gasquet's loud proclamations that he does not like doing it with dudes. Fair enough. But it now appears Mr. Gasquet is in serious danger of protesting too much....
SHOTY First Round: Sean Salisbury Vs. Rick Ankiel
After almost a week off, the 2007 SHOTY Tournament returns with a matchup of two very different human beings....
Even Jets Fans Are Asking Her Not To Take It Off
Of all the European soccer promotions ever seen, this is by far the most interesting. By which I mean, you may have my eyes now. I have a donor card, so please make sure they go to a worthy recipient, like an NBA ref....
Floyd Mayweather Knows How To Promote Fights To Heterosexuals
We're a couple of weeks away from Floyd Mayweather-Ricky Hatton fight, and, you know, it should be a good, as far as boxing goes these days. And the fight is no longer lacking the appropriate amount of hype. Why? Because Floyd Mayweather's war of words begins with anal rape....
After They Lock Up All The Cricket Stars, Are All Of Us Next?
The "Brad Pitt of cricket," Imran Kahn, has been thrown into prison by Pakistani President Gen. Pervez Musharraf for speaking out against the government, and is now on a hunger strike. You thought American politics were a mess? Imagine if Tom Brady was thrown in the slammer for his political views, ...
You Can Make Antoine Walker an All Star Again!
Some enterprising internetters over on the RealGM message boards have hatched a plan to corner the NBA All Star voting market involving cookies (not the kind you throw or use to torture). I'm a moron so I don't really understand all of their Internet Explorer speak but I have deduced that they are q...
Bonds Blogdome
What they're saying about Barry Bonds' federal indictment on perjury charges ......
Give Me Your Concrete Hand First; Fare You Well
As you know, tonight's Virginia-Miami game marks the end of Orange Bowl Stadium. The Hurricanes will move to Dolphin Stadium next season to begin a planned 25-year stay there, while the Orange Bowl will be blown to smithereens and sold on eBay. Thus, the end....
Yao Vs. Yi: 250 Million Chinese Viewers Can't Be Wrong
It's a fine Friday afternoon as Awful Announcing asks the musical question, is anyone aware that the largest television audience ever for a sporting event could take place tonight? That's right folks, it's Yi vs. Yao! From the Houston Chronicle:...
Saying Goodbye To Eric Lindros
We remember, when Eric Lindros first came into the NHL, someone describing him as the type of special player who will be measured "not by the number of All-Star appearances, but by the number of championships won." Well, he made six All-Star teams and never won a title. One suspects people were expe...
Your Next Guest Editor Is Hurricane Noel
It is fitting, we suppose, that our one trip to Bermuda would be in the midst of a hurricane. And that wasn't even the stressful part; they were having some sort of rugby tournament out there, and as anyone who has ever hung out with a group of rugby players, you're perpetually one stray sneeze away...
The Mavericks Invite You To Eat Their Dust
Those of you constantly demanding to see Dirk Nowitzki leaning out of a car window while taking a lap at the Texas Motor Speedway can stop your letters and e-mails: Your wish has finally been granted. Of course now that I see it, I have the urge to jump in the car and take my dog for a drive. Come'...