ric Page 686 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How 'Bout That Darrell Armstrong?!
We've always wondered what would happen if we ended up a semi-prominent public figure in, say, Chicago, or Iowa City, Iowa. As lifelong Cardinals and Illini boosters, it would be impossible for us to hide our loyalties; we couldn't pretend to root for the Cubs or the Hawkeyes even if our livelihoo...
The Vikings Meet The Seventh Floor Crew
Sometimes, someone comes up with a concept that's so perfectly in our sweet spot that we can merely stand up and salute, and that's really saying something, because we spend the whole day on our ass....
To Watch Tonight...
• NFL. Atlanta @ Chicago. If you'd like to watch a quality football game sometime over the next 36 hours, I suggest you enjoy this one. The Monday Night game is Baltimore vs. Green Bay. • NHL. San Jose @ Anaheim. It's always fun when Original Six teams go at it. Wait, San Jose and Anaheim weren't Or...
The Afternoon In College Hoops...
• #14 UCLA 68, Michigan 61. Jordan Farmar and Arron Afflalo both went over 20 for the Bruins, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, enemy of people who sew last names onto uniforms everywhere, had 9 rebounds off the bench. • Tennessee is currently throttling #7 Texas. I know it's only my second week doing...
Athlete Run-In: Kirk Hinrich, Gryffindor
Today's second — that is to say, final — athlete run-in story is about a guy we probably misidentified yesterday: Bulls point guard Kirk Hinrich, whose Facebook site is probably not actually this site. But anyway, this story, well, this story might not be true either, but you knew that already. Bu...
Mark Cuban Would Like To Help You Wipe
Though this seems like more of a project for those crazy Maloof brothers in Sacramento, we nevertheless support Mavericks owner Mark Cuban's newest venture: An investment in toilet seat company "The Brondell Swash."...
Kirk Hinrich's Facebook Profile
As much fun as we've had already with Facebook photos, we figured we'd find us a college student who could access some solid athlete ones. First up: Bulls guard Kirk Hinrich, whose Facebook photo is exactly what ours would be if we were a professional basketball player: A screenshot of our video ...
Hey, Mark? Fat Ankles Will Be The Least Of Her Problems
From the newest edition of Playboy magazine, via the New York Post:...
Don't Count Rickey Out Yet
So we spent most of the day yesterday wondering why ESPN was reporting that our beloved Rickey Henderson had retired, even though not a single other media outlet had picked it up and it wasn't on ESPN.com. They even did one of those generically rocking montages that ESPN does so well....
The Dulcet Tones Of Dirk Nowitzki
We'll confess: We're that dork that always has a novelty ringtone. We've gone from REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling" to the Illinois fight song to our current one, Europe's "The Final Countdown," inspired by Gob on "Arrested Development." We're lame that way. Forgive us....
A Day In The Life Of The "New" Michael Irvin
Well, it's the day after Michael Irvin's endless string of mea culpas following his arrest on Friday, and if Irvin's appearances had anything in common, it was their high proportion of "mea" to "culpa." Let's look back at Irvin's trip through the ESPN empire:...
University Of Miami: Complete Assheads
In one of the more ridiculous travesties of justice we can possibly think of happening on a college campus — save for maybe Nick Lachey living with Matt Leinart — the University of Miami has kicked blogger Kyle Munzenrieder out of campus housing after he posted a two-year-old rap song from Miami f...
Danica Races To The Altar
Hey wait, a wedding, and we weren't invited? It seems that elfin Indy driver Danica Patrick went and got married over the weekend, right under our noses, and we're just now hearing about it. And the staffers at Star call themselves journalists ... Details are beginning to leak, though (probably t...
Closing The Dorm Room Door
Well, we've been observing with much amusement — and a little fear — the ongoing aftermath of SeventhFloorGate (not the catchiest name, we admit). As nicely wrapped up by Sports Media Watch, it appears to be a big moral issue for Pat Forde and ESPN.com, and that's about it. No one else seems to be...
Rock Me Like An Extreme Weather Pattern
Well, it might be easy for Larry Coker and his Miami crew to hide from us, but it's not as easy for them to hide from ESPN. (For now.) Now that the moralists at the worldwide leader (and the AP) have picked up our bit about the Miami football team's rather intense rap, all kinds of heck is breakin...
The Ongoing Popularity Of "The U"'s Rap
For anyone who might have doubted the authenticity of our frightening Miami gangbang rap song post yesterday, Hurricanes wide receiver Sinorice Moss confirmed it for us today in his ESPN chat....
Mark Cuban's Crush On Ayn Rand
In a new story as part of "college week" on Slate.com, various "famous people" talk about the books they read in college that made a huge difference in their lives. 40 Year Old Virgin writer and director Judd Apatow says A Death In The Family. Chris Matthews says A Thousand Days. Bill Simmons even...
The Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl Shuffle
Ah, the University of Miami, the only school where they wear thongs as graduation tassles. Gotta love 'em. They're like our own little 2 Live Crew concert, every Saturday....
Somebody Has A Friend In ESPN's Search Tag Department
Our pal Bucky at Animal New York informed us of a most amusing Google game this morning. For whatever reason, if you happen to type the term "big dick" into your Google search engine, the first entry that comes up, inexplicably, is the ESPN bio of Vancouver Canucks wing Richard Park....
Jerry Rice's Tragic Downward Spiral
Our continued sympathy for legendary wide receiver Jerry Rice and the incredible difficulty he's having dealing with post-football life is well-documented, but it hit a new level today: It appears Rice, in a Rodman-esque publicity ploy, will appear on the second season of "Dancing With The Stars."...