rio Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
God Fucking Dammit, Gonzalo Higuaín
At this point, it’s pretty hard to dismiss out of hand the notion that Gonzalo Higuaín—unquestionably one of the best forwards in the sport, fresh off a historically great season—might be a sleeper agent embedded in the Argentine national team for the express purpose of bringing the team, the countr...
The USA Olympic Basketball Roster Is Set, And We'll Probably Be Fine
One of the big storylines in the run-up to this summer’s Olympics was the fact that many of America’s best basketball players would not be making the trip. Steph Curry and LeBron James both decided they’d rather do other things this summer, Anthony Davis and LaMarcus Aldridge got hurt, and Russell W...
Why Lionel Messi's "Retirement" Is Probably Just A Threat
It might have been merely frustration: Three straight years of making international finals, three straight finals losses in extra time or on penalties. Or it might have been the last night of Argentina as we know it....
So, Uh, Rio's Doping Lab Just Got Shut Down
I’m usually cynical about the chicken-little claims that a given Olympics is going to be a disaster. Biennially, everyone spends the run-up to the games fretting, and then the games go off largely hitchless. (And then the disaster strikes as the mountain of debt.) But Rio de Janeiro sure is doing it...
Hater-Ass Diego Maradona Is Lowkey Shit-Talking Argentina's National Team Again
Argentina, you may remember, just Hulk-smashed the USMNT in the Copa América Centenario earlier this week to earn a spot in the Copa final—the third consecutive tournament title match the Albiceleste have competed in. Understandably, someone asked former Argentina great and current waterlogged greml...
Idiot On The Field Leads Slapstick Chase Through Copa America Match, Eventually Gets Bodyslammed
Chile vs. Colombia was exciting during the first half, nonexistent for the next two hours, then soggy and boring for the second half. Thankfully, stoppage time featured an amazing moment in Idiot On The Field history, as this enterprising dumbass managed to escape a sizable horde of the security tea...
Bill Simmons's New HBO Show Debuts With Insane Ben Affleck Ballghazi Rant
Any Given Wednesday, Bill Simmons’ new weekly sports talk show, debuted this evening on HBO. It was ... exactly what you’d expect. It opened with a segment on the NBA Finals and LeBron’s greatness (featuring a Teen Wolf comparison less than two minutes in) before Charles Barkley joined the show to l...
Shut Up, Joe Lacob
The Warriors spent all season strutting around the NBA with their chests puffed out, telling anyone who would listen that they were better than the elite teams of the past, were horny for trophies, and had successfully re-engineered basketball from the circuits up to create a new, unforeseen way of ...
Thank You, Lionel Messi, For Demolishing The USMNT
It’s hard to think of an image that better encapsulates the confidence permeating Lionel Messi and—through osmosis, if nothing else—his fellow Argentine teammates than those few moments right before he took that free kick against the U.S. last night....
A Good Shitkicking Is What U.S. Soccer Needed
There are two ways to absorb the U.S.’s 4-0 pantsing at the hands of an overwhelmingly superior Argentina side. The first is fatalist, and is espoused by ESPN’s Doug McIntyre. It holds that this drubbing was so utter and so complete that there’s nothing constructive to take from the loss, no insight...
J.J. Watt Made Mike Florio Mad Online
Look, J.J. Watt’s bona fides as a social media user are well established. The man loves to do posts. Here’s a supportive, humblebragging, altogether innocuous tweet from the workout enthusiast, before the USMNT went to their dooms at his home stadium in Houston....
World's Best Soccer Players Offer Their Takes On USMNT
The USMNT took their swing at Argentina and got taken apart like an insect in the hands of a cruel child. I don’t have any takes other than that the U.S. needed to let Christian Pulisic cook earlier and that three-quarters of FS1's broadcast crew picking them to win was absurd....
![Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/x52qls9dnrwuf9oepl5q.jpg)
Idiot On The Field Bows Down To Messi [Update]
Fox cameras didn’t show this enterprising Idiot On The Field, who clearly regards Messi as some sort of soccer god. Given his free kick shortly before, this is at least up for discussion, and our man here bowed down, took a selfie, and had plenty of time with Messi....
Lionel Messi Puts U.S. In The Trash With Incredible Free Kick
The USMNT is currently floundering against the mighty Argentines, who scored an easy dinker after the U.S. defense capitulated en masse, then followed it up with this gorgeous Messi screamer past a flapping Brad Guzan....
Brazilian Soldier Shoots Jaguar Dead After Olympic Torch Ceremony
A Brazilian soldier shot a jaguar after an Olympic torch ceremony Monday in Manaus, Amazonas, after the animal got loose and approached him, according to a report from Reuters....
The Warriors, Uh, Reportedly Want Dirk Nowitzki
The NBA Finals have come and gone, and it’s now officially NBA silly season, a wonderful time for fake trades to surface, GMs to draft mysterious Surinamese power forwards, and outlandish free agency plots to bloom and die. If you’re a fan of a dogshit team, this is your Christmas. Your team is tota...
Draymond Green Was So Damn Good Last Night
Glancing at a box score from last night’s game, it is actually sort of incredible that the Warriors only lost by four. Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson combined for just 31 points on a ghastly 36 shots, Harrison Barnes was 3-of-10, and the injured Andrew Bogut didn’t play. And then you get to Draymon...
LeBron Had More Important Things To Do With His Shirt And Hat Than To Promote Nike
Yes, J.R. Smith is still shirtless from his night in Vegas, but look away from his booze-glazed torso for a second and focus on LeBron James. Here’s the hero of the Finals, at the moment he literally brings home the trophy Cleveland has been awaiting since before he was born. And he’s wearing—well, ...
Warriors Fans Are Herbs
I’ve been thinking about this all season long, and now that it’s over it’s just time to say it: Warriors fans are herbs....