rist Page 112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
BREAKING: Rick Reilly® Writes Decent, Heartfelt Column
It's about his friend, the late Mike Penner/Christine Daniels: "My wife, Cynthia, became her gender tour guide. ... Where to buy shoes online, what the new hormone pills would do to her, the trick of lingerie." [ESPN The Periodical]...
Last Night's Winner: Screenshot Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who watched the Fiesta Bowl's cornucopia of bizarre and occasionally disturbing images. And then flooded our inbox with every single one of them....
Brit Hume Will Be Reincarnated As A Prick
On Tiger: "He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger is, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith...'"...
Chad Ochocinco Can Receive And Give
Rather than bribing referees with George Washingtons, the wideout plans to toss a pinata filled with 2,000 one-spots into the stands if he scores on Sunday. He thinks he won't be fined. Maybe Christmas miracles are possible. [Bengals.com]...
It's So Heartwarming In The D
In case you've forgotten, today is Christmas Day, and if you want to feel all fuzzy about good deeds and peace on earth, just read the Detroit Free Press. No, for real. Ernie Harwell will make your day....
Last Night's Winner: SMU Mustangs
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like the SMU Mustangs, which exerted as much effort in scoring this prestige as they did in routing Nevada. They had no competition in either regard....
Armed Agent Zero Confuses Wizards With Bullets
We interrupt your Christmas caroling for this: Gilbert Arenas is under NBA investigation for stashing firearms in his locker. Apparently, that might violate the league's gun policy. Plus, Washington D.C. owns strict anti-gun laws. What's the excuse?...
Be Good For Goodness Sake
According to well-placed sources in NORAD, Santa is making his way across Asia right about now, which must mean that I'm about 18 hours from stuffing my face in Chinese food. Oh, and Christmas is almost here. Merriness ensues....
Last Minute Gift Ideas: Tim Legler's Holiday Sweater
What is it with the ESPN basketball analyst (and former La Salle Explorer! Alumni!) and drinking games? We already had photos of Legler and his team of chug-a-luggers getting shit-hammered. Now, he's Christmas beer-ponging. This man's a menace....
The Astrodome Would Make For A Lovely Stocking Stuffer
Still scavenging for Christmas gifts? Boy, do we have a miraculous idea for you: buy a washed-up stadium. They're on the going block! Only downside: You'll probably have to upgrade your tree. Shipping might be expensive, too. [WSJ]...
John Lackey's Wife Gets Her First, Uh... Taste Of Boston Nightlife
Krista Lackey has already scored her first mention in the Boston gossip pages after being spotted at a fancy restaurant—where one of Southie's finest puked on her fur coat. Pissah. [Boston Herald, via 3:10toJoba]...
Last Night's Winner: Shopping Malls
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the megasize temple of commerce that assaulted me with annoying children, terrible seasonal music and then took all my money. You win again, Christmas....
The Real Winner In The Tiger Woods Saga? Jackie Christie
"Oh, they laughed and lampooned....Some of the athletes who once snickered at the Christies are now seeking their advice. 'I wish he would've reached out,' Jackie says. 'I think we've stopped a lot of affairs.'" [Bloomberg]...
Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....
NFL Network Can Suffer A Rancid Amputation – Your Christmasaroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
A-Rod Loses His Golden Muse
A stunning report from the bowels of the gossip arena on a Tiger Woods break: Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson have apparently broken up. No golf clubs were swung, no hydrants were run over, according to reports so far....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: See How He Loved Football Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
By The Time You Read This, Another Woman Will Have Claimed To Have Had Sex With Tiger Woods
Add three (possibly four!) more wenches to the pile. For those keeping score: Jamie Jungers, 26, Trashy Girl; Mindy Lawton, 33, hotcake harlot; Cori Rist, 26, blond thing. Sports By Brooks has already watermarked every available photo of them....
Mike Penner Remembered, As He Should Be: A Journalist
Do yourself a favor and read the Times' obituary of Mike Penner. A sad end for someone so obviously conflicted about their life. [LA Times]...
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....