rist Page 113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mark Mangino Has A Bit Of A Temper
Does this look like the face of someone who would berate and threaten his players? Or worse, a parking enforcer who was only doing his job when he gave the Kansas football coach two dozen parking tickets? You'd be surprised....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Refreshed And Resurrected Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Blessing The Child Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Eye For An Eye Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Den Of Reporters Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Coach Tries Knife Threats To Get Through To Players
Revolutionary motivational techniques from a prep school football assistant coach: practice harder or I'll cut you....

Cheddar Plax Jokes Get NYPD In Hot Water
You shoot yourself in the leg, people are going to say you pulled a Plaxico. Sorry, that's how it is. But one teen is suing the cops for making just that obvious joke....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Transfiguration Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Of WAGs And Witchcraft
A Spanish "witch" came forward to say he was paid to put a curse on Cristiano Ronaldo, causing his recent ankle injury. Suspect number one in the Spanish press: a jilted Paris Hilton. [Sport]...

Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....

Most Auburn Fans Are Doltish Cretins, Obviously
Have you ever been to Auburn? No? Well, I have, and IT SUCKS! Which is why, in order to "attract" recruits, the program has to dispatch its illiterate boosters to harass the nation's top prep talent into signing with them....

Well Hello There Stinky Britches!
Okay, so I'm this internet creature known as Cajun Boy and I'm guest-editing this here site today. Perhaps you've seen me around on Gawker, Animal, my dumb blog, my dumb Twitter, etc. Also, I got my first tattoo last night!...

Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...

Player-Coach Leads Team To Championship While Pregnant
Sky Blue FC won the first Women's Professional Soccer League championship last weekend, but didn't find out until the champagne celebration that their coach-slash-captain, Christie Rampone, is three months pregnant. No, she didn't play barefoot....

Dirk Nowitzki's Possibly Pregnant Lady Friend Gets Very Real Jail Time
Cristal Taylor was sentenced to four years in prison for violating her probation, which means Dirk Nowitzki's love child (if it indeed exists) could be born in jail. That kid's going to have a story to tell. [Post-Disptach/Blogitude]...

Southeast Missouri State Feels The NCAA's Sting
The NCAA has thrown the book at Southeast Missouri State basketball, vacating all their men's basketball wins from 2006-2008 because an assistant gave impermissible benefits to a player—by giving him a lift home to see his newborn baby....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Apologies for taking the Lord's name in vain in the headline, readers, but this is some serious backchannel craziness the Eagles just pulled off. With all the possible destinations for Michael Vick, even in the strictly hypothetical, UFL sense.......

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....

The Devil Is Still In Josh Hamilton (Update)
Josh Hamilton claims he's been sober since October 2005. Since then he's rejuvenated his career, saved his marriage, devoted himself to Jesus, and become America's flawed, homer-derby hero. Last winter, while he was alone in Tempe, Arizona, Hambone kinda slipped....