rist Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Soccer Player Quits Team After Learning Teammate Was Sleeping With His Wife
The man pictured above is Christian Keller, very recently the captain of Danish first-division club Randers. He and his fellow Horses had to bid adieu to one of their teammates today, after Jonas Borring announced that certain personal events had led him to decide to leave the club. What instigated ...
Belgium National Soccer Team Cancels Training After Terrorist Attacks In Brussels
In light of the terrorist bombings today targeting the Brussels Airport and a local metro station, the Belgian national team, assembled in the country’s capital ahead of an international friendly against Portugal, has canceled their scheduled training session:...
Someone Please Save Kristaps Porzingis From Kurt Rambis
If you’ve been watching Knicks games lately, you’ve no doubt noticed a depressing development: Rookie Kristaps Porzingis, once the boy king of New York, has been playing very poorly. This downturn in production surely has something to do with the young player hitting a rookie wall, but it also has a...
The Sacramento Kings Finally Broke Doug Christie
The 26-41 Sacramento Kings were down 74-53 to the 25-41 New Orleans Pelicans at halftime Wednesday night, getting torched by Ryan Anderson for 21 points in the second quarter. Analyzing the first half on CSN California, former King and NBA All-Defensive 1st teamer Doug Christie lost it, pleading wit...
Police: Ronaldo Vs. Messi Debate Ends With One Guy Killing His Buddy With Shard Of Glass
The incessant arguing about whether Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is the better player is dumb, misses the point, and is played out. Even worse than getting drawn into said argument in the first place is taking it so seriously that you kill a friend of yours, which is apparently what happened to...
Cristiano Ronaldo Starts Hat Trick With Pair Of Brilliant Goals
Cristiano Ronaldo shook? Not if today’s appearance against Celta is any sign, as the Real Madrid hero earned a hat trick by the 64th minute after a trio of stunning second-half goals. The first came on a screamer in open play, and the second on a vintage Ronaldo free kick....
Small Child Cooks Kristaps Porzingis, Eats Him, Dabs
Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis had to go to some promotional event today and entertain some jamokes with a few half-hearted games of 1-on-1. He probably should have taken this kid a bit more seriously:...
Atlético Madrid Have Cristiano Ronaldo Shook
Atlético Madrid beat their crosstown rivals Real Madrid in the league at the Santiago Bernabéu today thanks to Antoine Griezmann’s nifty little goal. Ronaldo missed a similar shot right before Griezmann nailed his chance, and Atlético’s fearsome defense held their rivals scoreless. Today, Atlético b...
Chaco Giménez Shoots From Goddamn Jupiter, Scores
If Alessandro Florenzi’s wondergoal in September came from Mars, Chaco Giménez’s strike from even further out can only be described as originating from the next planet back....
Christopher Bell Somehow Walks Away From Devastating Wreck On Race's Final Lap
Johnny Sauter won tonight’s NASCAR truck race at Daytona, but everyone’s eyes were on Christopher Bell’s #4 truck after it went tumbling due to a wreck on the race’s final lap....
Hot Damn, Check Out This Christine Sinclair Golazo
Canada and Costa Rica are playing each other in Olympic Qualifiers right now, and Christine Sinclair put Canada up 2-0 with this beauty. This ain’t quite Christen Press’s once-in-a-lifetime first touch, but it’s awful damn good. Poor Costa Rica just keeps getting golazo’d on....
It's Been A Rough Day, So Come Look At This Cristiano Ronaldo Golazo
Real Madrid visited Italian side AS Roma today in the first leg of their Champions League Round of 16 tie and beat the home side, 2-0. The first goal was a dang thunderbastard from Cristiano Ronaldo. You should see it. You deserve to see it. Here it is:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Has Some Thoughts On Soccer, Friendship, And Trick Penalty Kicks
Barcelona did something really fun and cool last weekend. Well, they did many fun and cool things, but the most memorable and somewhat controversial thing was Lionel Messi’s penalty fake-out. So when Cristiano Ronaldo took the podium today ahead of Real Madrid’s Champions League match tomorrow, it w...
Holy Shit, Christen Press's First Touch Will Make Your Knees Buckle
Oh my god look at this first touch from Christen Press. She doesn’t just expertly control a cross whipped into her, but no-look uses the outside of her foot (her heel?!) to gently drop the ball just a few feet in beside her to wheel around and smash home. It should be illegal to be this skilled and ...
Goddammit, Benteke, Again?!?
If you can’t tell from the angle above, that is Liverpool’s Christian Benteke bearing down on West Ham’s goalkeeper in extra time of their FA Cup replay. If you know anything about the striker in question, you can guess what happened next:...
The Knicks Have Fired Derek Fisher
Well shit, man, nobody’s prepared to deal with big NBA news the morning after the Super Bowl, but here we are. According to multiple reports, Derek Fisher is out as head coach of the New York Knicks....
Can Cristiano Ronaldo Dunk?
So a couple hours ago, Cristiano Ronaldo—who is one of the greatest players in the history of the game of soccer because he is also one of the most physically dominant athletes of all time in any sport anywhere—posted a photo of himself dunking a soccer ball on a basketball hoop. My colleagues, a de...
Yawn, Another Ronaldo Hat Trick
Ho hum. Cristiano Ronaldo and Real played Espanyol (who are two points above the relegation zone) at the Bernabéu, and would you believe it, they kicked the shit out of them. Ronaldo had a hat trick and James was pinging in dangerous balls over the top all game. Here’s the best Ronaldo goal....
Kristaps Porzingis And His Agent Wanted Nothing To Do With The 76ers' Process
Though a full accounting won’t be possible for a number of years, so far the breakout stars of the 2015 draft are Karl-Anthony Towns and Kristaps Porzingis. Picking third, the Philadelphia 76ers missed out on a chance at Towns. But they passed on Porzingis, opting for Duke standout Jahlil Okafor, fo...
Real Madrid Are Still Humping The Story That Ronaldo Cost More Than Bale
Of all of Cristiano Ronaldo’s various behavioral quirks, which have brought us so many laughs over the years, one of the funniest and most puzzling is his curious attachment to being the most expensive player alive. When he first came to Real Madrid, the club paid what was then a world record transf...