rist Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kristaps Porzingis Remains The Best
The Thunder beat the Knicks or whatever, but who cares, because Kristaps:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Should Probably Stop Hitting People
Hey, Cristiano, how’s it going? Good? That’s good to hear. I didn’t want anything, just checking in. Saw yesterday’s game. Kind of a bummer, drawing like that against Real Betis. Yeah, they should’ve given you a penalty, I agree. While on the topic of the game though, what happened with you and Fran...
U.S. Attorney Suggests Password Cardinals Used To Access Astros Scouting Database Was “Eckstein123"
Earlier this month, former Cardinals scouting director Christopher Correa plead guilty to five counts of unauthorized access to a computer for hacking the Houston Astros database. Unsealed federal documents revealed that Correa used an old password to look at confidential information, including scou...
Cristiano Ronaldo Deftly Controls His Balls
Cristiano Ronaldo, cover boy of the latest edition of GQ, can be seen in the video above simultaneously engaging in all of his great loves in life: playing with a soccer ball, wearing as little clothing as possible, shilling for a product, and having all of it recorded by the loving eye of the camer...
The World Needed Another Latvian Rap Song About Kristaps Porzingis
One music video about Latvian-born New York Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis wasn’t enough. There’s a second one titled “Keep Calm Like Kristaps Porzingis,” which features Lamborghinis in the snow, dabs, and heavy influences from Future....
Cristiano Ronaldo's Sister Wants To Exile The People Who Vandalized Her Brother's Statue To Syria
The enormous, bronze, big-dicked statue that stands in honor of Cristiano Ronaldo in his home town was vandalized Monday, as some rascals painted Lionel Messi’s name on its back. Ronaldo’s sister had some very, very, very strong words for the culprits....
Ballon d’Or Voting Is Full Of Bizarre Ballots
This is how democracy works. You give the right to vote to a large swath of people of varying ages, expertise levels, and motivations, add up their collective responses, and hope to come out with a good result. Today’s Ballon d’Or award ceremony, where Lionel Messi won the thing for the fifth time o...
Crying Knicks Child Is Now A Big Kristaps Porzingis Fan
Remember that little Knicks fan who sobbed like a baby when his team drafted Kristaps Porzingis?...
Reporter: I Was Told Not To Write About Gareth Bale's Transfer Fee Because It Would Annoy Ronaldo
Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo are superstar teammates for Real Madrid. They both cost a whole bunch of money to buy. Bale cost a little bit more. Ronaldo does not like being reminded of this. Here’s proof:...
Report: Chip Kelly Was Fired In Part Because He Messed Up The Eagles' Holiday Party
Holiday parties are a wonderful time of the year where you can get drunk with your coworkers, contract gonorrhea from them, or in Chip Kelly’s case, hurry on your pending unemployment. CBS’ Jason La Canfora has a report from the aftermath of Kelly’s firing by the Philadelphia Eagles, and it’s pretty...
Christian Hackenberg Thanks Everyone But His Coach While Declaring For NFL Draft
Penn State lost to Georgia in a bowl game this afternoon. It was an ugly game made uglier by star Penn State QB Christian Hackenberg leaving the game in the second quarter with an injury. His backup threw a cool touchdown, but other than that, nah....
Shut Up, Shithead
Get a load of this Stanford shithead who won’t shut up while ESPN tries to interview Christian McCaffrey, who basically singlehandedly won the Rose Bowl. This clown is relentless. He’s also now become a meme:...
Christian McCaffrey Goes 75 Yards On Rose Bowl's First Play [UPDATE: And He's Added A Punt Return TD]
Christian McCaffrey proved himself to be college football’s most versatile player this season, and the Stanford star continued his reign by catching a Kevin Hogan pass and finding the end zone 75 yards away on the Rose Bowl’s first play. Here’s how it sounded on Russian television:...
Christian Benteke Had Another Brutal Miss Today
Don’t click on the video just yet. Look at the image for a second. Christian Benteke, yards clear of any defender, strolls into the heart of the penalty box with only the keeper to beat. It was right about at that frame when, watching it live, I thought to myself, He’s definitely about to miss this....
Liverpool Storm Four Men On Open-Goal Fast Break, Still Don't Score
Liverpool beat Leicester City 1-0 at Anfield today, holding the league’s most surprising team scoreless for the first time all season. But it should have been a 2-0 victory, as a late open goal break somehow fell apart when Christian Benteke couldn’t find a net left vacant by Kasper Schmeichel. Schm...
Happy Birthday, Rickey Henderson!
Today is a day to celebrate, among other things, the birthday of Rickey Henderson, a man who embodies baseball at its best so completely that it’s hard to do him any justice. Here’s to you, Rickey....
Enjoy Some Of The Most Ridiculous Christmas Wish Lists Ever Written
If you got what you wanted for Christmas, that’s probably in part because you didn’t ask for, say, “A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime.” This would set you apart from the authors of the lists below, some of whom got some of what they wanted, some of whom just couldn’t possibly hav...
Kristaps Porzingis Got The Hell Out Of LeBron's Way
Kristaps Porzingis still has a lot to learn in this league, but he’s got one of the more important aspects of self-preservation down pat: when LeBron James has a head of steam, make sure you’re not in his path....
What Is The Best Birthday Month?
PROGRAMMING NOTE: I’m outta here next week to go do Christmas things. You’re not getting a Funbag. You’ll have to go mud-sledding or something. Deadspin founder and artificial Georgian Will Leitch will be your Jamboroo guest host. ...
24 Winter Beers, Ranked
Winter beer is a slippery category that used to comprise slightly boozy ales brewed with spices and odd grains, but has long since metastasized to include not only those traditional “winter warmers,” but also just about any damn thing a brewery’s marketing department feels like hanging a snowflake o...