sad Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mark Prior's Comeback Just Manages To Depress Us All Over Again
Prior's going to work out for scouts tomorrow, in the hopes of getting back to the big leagues. It's sad, and unsurprising, and we all wish him luck as we expect him to fail....

Instant Messages You Never Want To Receive From Your World Cup Correspondent
Luke: well, i just got robbed me: what? what happened? Luke: they took my tickets man my tickets to [USA-Ghana] they pickpocketed me me: who did? ah fuck Luke: i don't know! some fuck...

Manute Bol Is Not Doing Well
Former NBA giant Manute Bol in serious condition in a Virginia hospital, suffering from kidney failure and something called Stevens–Johnson syndrome. All this because he spent the last several months building schools in Sudan....

Washed-Up Coach Reduced To Shamelessly Peddling Crap On Twitter
Judging by his Twitter account, Florida Atlantic's Mike Jarvis is now a celebrity spokesman for something called the EnergyCare Dream Pillow, which apparently worked so well for Jarvis that he slept through an entire basketball season. [@coachmikejarvis]...

The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much....

High School Players' Late Father Honored — For All Of Three Months
Due to budget cuts, a Baltimore Catholic school is closing down the court that in December was renamed in memory of the father of two sophomore players. Better than selling the naming rights, I suppose. [Baltimore Sun]...

The Africa Cup Of Nations Will Not Runneth Over
Earlier this month, Togo withdrew from the Africa Cup of Nations when Angolan separatists attacked its team bus with machine guns, killing two delegation members. You would think the African Football Confederation would have sympathy. You would be wrong....

Gaines Adams, Dead At 26
The Bears DE was rushed to the hospital early this morning with an apparent heart attack, and was pronounced dead. An autopsy is scheduled for later in the day. [Greenville News]...

Hooray For Dong!
Time to go home. Forgive me. Announcements and such after the jump....

"I Really Have Nothing To Say": 13 Years Of Sad Bert Blyleven Reactions
Every year, poor Bert Blyleven falls short of Cooperstown, and every year, he's asked how it feels. Looking back on 13 years of his glum responses is almost heartbreaking, like watching a frown in slow motion....

Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times. Jesus.
Lange's mother found him Saturday at his Hoboken apartment. He had six hesitation wounds, according to the New York Post, and three "deep plunges." Doctors managed to save him despite heavy bleeding. [NYP]...

The Urban Meyer 911 Call Is Unbearably Sad
"Urban, Urban, talk to me," says his wife, Shelley, while on the phone with the dispatcher. "He almost sounds like he's kind of trying to cry." [ESPN]...

<em>Washington Times</em> Sports Section Goes To That Big Moonie Wedding In The Sky
"As of this writing, the staff hasn't been told anything official, but the paper is moving forward with plans for a new product on Monday, and there have been no indications that product will include sports." RIP. [D.C. Sports Bog]...

More Last Minute Gift Ideas: A Murder Conviction
A Yankee fan who ran over a Red Sox fan with her car after he mocked her team has been found guilty of second-degree murder. Shockingly, the New England jury did not consider it justifiable homicide....

White Advocate To Integrate MLB Dies
You know Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey, but maybe not Lester Rodney, the sportswriter who campaigned to break baseball's color line from the august pages of The Daily Worker, the U.S. Communist Party's rag. He died Sunday at 98. [Olbermann]...

The Drug-addled Voice Of The Carolina Panthers Comes Clean
"Jon Robinson had everything — looks, voice, charisma," a colleague said of the former Maryland hoopster, drive-time radio host, television anchor, Carolina Panthers public address announcer and, all along, cocaine and heroin addict....

Chris Henry Passes Away
ESPN, AP, and others are now reporting that Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry died around 6:30 this morning from injuries suffered in a car accident. More soon.......

Peter Gammons Leaving ESPN
I'm pleased to announce he'll be joining Deadspin as new weekend editor starting Jan 1st. (No, he's not.) Helluva guy, though. We wish him the best and hope to see him at Eddie Vedder's wedding. [RandBall]...

Friendly Texas-Nebraska "Discussion" Leads To Accidental Death
Two Marines got in a "friendly scuffle" while talking about the outcome of Big 12 Championship Game. Unfortunately, one of them forgot to put down his gun and now the other one is dead. [Sun Journal]...
