san Page 247 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Earthquakes Mascot Sacks Idiot On The Field, Gets Shoved By Opponents
San Jose Earthquakes mascot Q is no stranger to fighting with opponents, and (his?) attempt to tackle an Idiot On The Field after tonight’s International Champions Cup match against Club América earned some pushing and shoving from the Liga MX side’s players who didn’t take kindly to his treatment o...

Torrey Smith Has A Great Sports Baby
New 49ers wide receiver Torrey Smith is spending his summer vacation hanging around the house with his family, including one-year-old son TJ. And TJ? He’s a star....

Let's Laugh At The Lakers' Awful Summer League Performance
Tonight the Los Angeles Lakers came out against the Knicks with a performance for the ages: a first quarter featuring seven turnovers, six fouls, and five points. Your future, Lakers fans, is apparently getting dominated by a certain Latvian. ...

That Water Is Colder Than It Looks
Current San Francisco Bay water temperature: 63°. Kruk & Kuip never fail to be amused by this....

DeAndre Jordan Hurt Chandler Parsons's Feelings. Hurt 'Em Real Bad, Bro.
Nobody was more instrumental to the Mavericks’ courtship of DeAndre Jordan than Chandler Parsons. Dallas’ small forward was attached to Jordan’s hip throughout the free-agency period, reportedly taking the big man out to dinner five nights in a row and wooing him with talk of MVP awards and All-Star...

Ray McDonald Charged With False Imprisonment, Domestic Violence (Update)
Santa Clara County prosecutors announced today that they have charged Ray McDonald with felony false imprisonment, misdemeanor domestic violence, child endangerment, and violating a court order that he stay away from the victim. If convicted, the Santa Clara District Attorney’s office says the forme...

Who Has The Best Super-Dick At Comic Con?
The 2015 Comic Con floor is open, which means hundreds of thousands of fans will soon be filing in to talk with comic creators, buy sweet commissioned drawings at Artist’s Alley, and, of course, check out some statues of superheroes wearing skintight costumes that show off their dick bulges. Deadspi...


It Was A Crazy Night, But DeAndre Jordan Re-Signed With The Clippers
One of the most bizarre free agencies in NBA history is set to draw to a close, and the ending is definitely the weirdest part about it....

MLS Invents New Rule To Help Big-Market Teams
Traversing MLS’s ever-shifting labyrinth of player transaction rules has always been nigh-impossible. And somehow or other, now the league has sprouted yet another alleyway to get lost in. Luckily, no matter how winding the path is, you always wind up in the same place: whatever’s best for the big-c...

A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...

The DeAndre Jordan Standoff Will Be Won With Emoji
DeAndre Jordan’s having second thoughts about where he wants to sign, so now the Mavericks and Clippers are standing at either side of him, clapping and telling him to walk to them. Dallas thought it had an agreement with Jordan, but now the Clippers are making a desperate second effort. The Maveric...

Report: The Clippers Are Trying To Win Back DeAndre Jordan
Apparently convinced that their offseason wasn’t already embarrassing enough, the Clippers are now trying to convince DeAndre Jordan, who has already agreed to sign with the Mavericks, to go back on his deal with Dallas before it becomes official and stay in L.A. Or so says ESPN’s Marc Stein:...

J.J. Redick Would Like To Give The Clippers An "F-Minus" In Free Agency
It’s been a rough week for the Clippers, who lost star center DeAndre Jordan to the Mavericks—in part because Chris Paul might be a nightmare to play with, and in part because Jordan sees L.A.’s long term-viability is in doubt....

Justin Upton Gets Up To Rob A Dinger
Damn, Justin Upton, what did Andrew McCutchen ever do to you? McCutchen had to think this go-ahead homer was long gone but Upton, recently named the Padres’ lone representative to the All-Star game, got way up above the wall to take it away. McCutchen got the last laugh, however, as his Pirates scor...

David West Pays $11 Million To Escape The State Of Indiana
At the start of this year’s NBA free-agency period, 34-year-old power forward David West opted out of the final year of his three-year, $36.6 million contract with the Indiana Pacers. Today, he signed a contract with the San Antonio Spurs that will pay him $1.4 million. While there are other ways to...

Report: DeAndre Jordan Was Sick And Tired Of Chris Paul
DeAndre Jordan signed a four-year, $80 million contract with the Dallas Mavericks over the weekend, ditching a playoff team for one that’s basically turning over its entire roster. That may seem like a strange decision, but Jordan will have two things going for him in Dallas—a more prominent role in...

Lakers Sign Lou Williams; Team Will Still Use Only One Basketball
Sixth-man extraordinaire Lou Williams is headed to Los Angeles after signing a three-year, $21 million contract with the Lakers, reports Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski and RealGM’s Shams Charania. ...

Report: Lakers Will Acquire Roy Hibbert
The Los Angeles Lakers are working on a trade to acquire center Roy Hibbert from the Indiana Pacers, reports ESPN’s Marc Stein and Ramona Shelburne. The parameters of the trade haven’t been finalized, but the Lakers will likely absorb Hibbert into their cap space while sending draft picks in return....
