san Page 452 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Old Man Gives Young Whippersnapper What For (UPDATE)
Word to the wise: When a (possibly racist) 67-year-old man wearing an "I AM a motherfucker" t-shirt gives you guff on an Oakland bus, just let it go. Or go home and get your shine box....

Everyone On The Showtime Lakers Was Having Sex, All The Time
From a new Jerry West biography, it's alleged that players would take women into the sauna after games, before emerging to meet the media. Hopefully not before Magic's first retirement press conference. [Milwaukee J-S]...

The Maple Street Press Is Sorry For Giving/Making The 2010 Cubs Anal
"Continuing with yesterday's theme of things we learned while pulling together the 2010 Annuals, there was a significant one from the Cubs Annual: Derrek Lee is a little taller than we thought."[MapleStreetPress]...

The 2010 Cubs Look Promising And Open To Sexual Experimentation
The Maple Street Press is certainly setting expectations for the Cubs extremely high this year. [ChicagoNow]...

Rey Maualuga Feels Up A Dwarf: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Barry Bonds Keeping In Game Shape With Diet, Contempt For Public
Surprisingly, Dodgers fans were able to get between Bonds and his chicken and waffles, and still escape with their lives. One autograph hound, though, managed to touch a sore spot....

Dan Le Batard Exposes The "Sexy And Violent Truth" About The Super Bowl
In which the columnist attempts to board the Love Bus, mentions in passing that he went to Luther Campbell's wedding, watches as Bryant McKinnie drops 20 large on champagne, and generally makes you feel like you're watching a Fellini movie....

MLBPA's Charity Block Will Cost Players In The Long Run
The players' union has struck down the "Manny Ramirez provision," which allowed teams to force players to donate to charity as part of their contracts. But it looks like the MLBPA might've hurt their own guys on this one....

BOOOOBS!:A Gripping Photojournalistic Account Of The Monterrey, Mexico, Flashing Incident
The most amusing part of this NSFW gallery of Leah Catherine Spencer, the Lone Wolf of Monterrey, Mexico, are the sweaty guys jockeying for iPhone close-ups and the boundless joy she brought to soccer fans that day. Especially the children....

BOOOOOOOBS!-Lady Is Now Auctioning Off Flashing Shirt, Stupid Hat.
You know, cuz she's famoso because of this. In case you missed what this chica is yapping about, you can find her hooter-happy brand of hooliganism right here. (Bowler derby tip to JT's Mustard Factory.) [NSFW]...

Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!
Courtesy of Jimmy Traina's XXX-tra Mustard Twitter page. [NSFWNSFWNSFW]...

January: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from January, ranked low to high...

Lance Broadway and Gerald Laird Would Make An Excellent Battery
Major league journeymen sure are punchy this offseason. Former White Sox/Met and current Blue Jay minor leaguer Lance Broadway is being sued for rearranging a man's face at a New Year's Eve party in Dallas. While shirtless, of course....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

Athlete Dong: <em>Omnium-Gatherum</em> And Critical Analysis
Poor Greg Oden — his penis made him an unfortunate rising Google-trender. Of course, Oden isn't the first athlete to have his privates posted online. The Awl's Choire Sicha, Deadspin House Gay, provides commentary on sport's many peacocks....

Pants On The Ground Has Gone Way Too Far
American Idol freakshow "General" Larry Platt and his magnum opus "Pants On The Ground" have become an integral part of the Vikings playoff run. So much so that Platt showed up at the team meeting today, and performed. Video below....

Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....