san Page 455 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Somebody Give The Bulls Credit For Acknowledging The Playground Time Out
John Jackson says that "energy" and "hunger" are what the Bulls lack right now. I'd throw "awareness" onto that list as well. [BallDon'tSKEETS!]...

Last Night's Winner: Losers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 1988-89 Miami Heat and the 1998-99 Clippers, who won last night because the New Jersey Nets lost....

Pau And Placido Make Beautiful Music Together
SoCal's newest 'It' Couple are Lakers Center Pau Gasol and opera legend Plácido Domingo. They've become fast friends because...it's L.A., who the f**k knows?...

New York Sports Synergy Becoming Unbearable
First Patrick Ewing wants to coach the Nets. Then Joe Girardi gives sliding lessons to Mark Sanchez. All we need is Mike Piazza sharing style tips with Sean Avery, and the circle will be complete. [NY Post / AP]...

In Detroit, Even Production Trucks Are Burning
A small fire in an FSN Detroit production truck prevented Pistons fans at home from watching most of the second half of Detroit's 104-96 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers. So, there you go. [USA Today/AP]...

This Is Exactly Why Only Goons Should Be Allowed To Fight
Sweet sassy molassey was this an ugly fight. Flyers center Danny Briere makes it abundantly clear why he has only been credited with two fights during his career with yesterday's atrocious "brawl" with Marc-Edouard Vlasic of the San Jose Sharks....

Clippers Broadcasters Suspended For Mispronouncing 'Iranian'
Play-by-play man Ralph Lawler and analyst Mike Smith have been suspended for one game for calling Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi an "EYE-ranian." The Iron Sheik would probably like to take these guys on in a cage match. [Los Angeles Times]...

Los Angeles: Where Football Goes To Die
The UFL's Locomotives had planned to play a "home game" at the Home Depot Center Friday, but canceled it after concerns about ticket sales. Fitting, since good taste drove the Rams and Raiders out of town too. [LA Daily News]...

Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....

No One Likes Donald Sterling, Part 783 (UPDATE)
The league has no plans to discipline, comment on or even cough pointedly in the direction of Sterling, so activists are passing around a protest petition that David Stern can blithely ignore, too. Faaantastic!...

A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000....

San Diego Horndoggery Day Continues
Chris Chambers was released due to the Chargers concerns about his personal life: namely, some Fatal Attraction level stalking. He's got a restraining order out on his ex-girlfriend, after she sent "lurid" text messages to his wife. [SD Union-Tribune]...

SDSU AD Gets His Mack On, At School Expense
Jeff Schemmel is under fire for traveling for trysts with a married woman, while expensing the trips to San Diego State. That's gotta be some kind of recruiting violation....

Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...

Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...

'Hooray For Mannywood, That Screwy Ballyhooey Mannywood'
Dodgers fans must feel like they have just come off a cycle and are taking hCG as it was announced that Manny Ramirez will not exercise the escape clause in his contract and will remain a Dodger. [Los Angeles Times]...

Donald Sterling Continues To Get Away With Being The Most Evil Man In Sports
Racist greedhead Donald Sterling will pay $2.73 million to settle a federal housing bias lawsuit accusing him of all kinds of sleazy and thuggish behavior, none of which matters in David Stern's NBA if you're an owner....

What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....

Whores Are Coming To Dallas
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian]...