san Page 456 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vicente Padilla Shot In Hunting "Accident"
The Dodger pitcher started his offseason with a bang, receiving a "minor" gunshot wound to his leg while hunting in Nicaragua. Is that some nightclub I'm not aware of? [LA Times]...

I Know It's Preseason, But — Le Moyne?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stay Away From Manu Ginobili's Fangs For Awhile
The Spurs guard had to get rabies shots after taking down a vicious bat with his bare hands. So if you see him foaming at the mouth, he's definitely not infected with a horrible disease! [SA Express-News]...

Argentina Tops Transylvania In Batsketball
Manu Ginobili's line: 13 points, three assists, one rebound, and one dead bat. You have to watch this one....

The NCAA Won't Be Lied To (Or, Why To Avoid Deion Sanders)
Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Byrant has been suspended for an entire year, not for breaking rules, but for lying about not breaking rules. Because misleading an NCAA investigator is the worst crime a human can commit....

Statistical Proof Of Baseball's Strangest Season Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Clippering Of Blake Griffin's Career Has Begun
Clippers forward Blake Griffin, the No. 1 overall pick, has fractured his kneecap and could miss up to six weeks. There are easier ways to pay tribute to Danny Manning. [LAT, Midwest Sports Fans]...

Dodgers Owner Frank McCourt Sent His Wife A John Deere Letter Regarding Her Employment
The divorce of Dodgers owner Frank McCourt from his wife Jamie is about to get even uglier than what many assumed would already be a contentious dissolution of marriage proceeding after McCourt sent a nasty termination letter to his wife....

Ole Miss Has A(nother) Sensitivity Problem
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jerry Buss Throws One Heck Of A Birthday Party
Lakers owner Jerry Buss seems like a fun guy. He loves poker, has at least one DUI, and has no problems with his daughter posing in Playboy and dating a much older man. Also, he's a frequent brothel customer....

ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sexual Depravity
On September 9, we received a tip. Subject: "S. Phillips." The contents? "Rumor winding it's way around the hallowed halls of the WWL is that Steve Phillips is getting canned tomorrow for an offense on par with Harold Reynold's misdeed."...

Manny Takes A Clean Loss
Manny Ramirez was in the shower when Jimmy Rollins's double ended last night's game. So for all we know, he still thinks the Dodgers won. Shh, don't anybody tell him! [FOXSports]...

Paranoid Angels Fans Accuse Mariano Rivera Of Throwing Spitballs
Angels fans have lost their freaking minds over the video below, which allegedly catches Yankees closer Mariano Rivera in the act of spitting on a baseball, right there in front of God and Joe Buck and 45,000 fans....

Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....

It's A Dutiful Play In The Neighborhood
You know it's one of those postseasons when the umps are getting ripped even for getting the calls correct....

No One Really Knows If The Angels-Yankees Game Will Be Played Tonight Or Not
With a little more than two hours remaining before the scheduled first pitch, we're not sure if Game 2 of the ALCS between the Yankees and Angels will be played or not....

Two Men And A Little Tommy
Kobe Byrant, the newly single Frank McCourt, and a very sleepy Tommy Lasorda took in Game 2 of the NLCS today. Of course, this was in the fourth inning, so the trio is probably already eating dinner in Malibu....

Phillies-Dodgers Is Just Like Bloods-Crips, Insane Person Writes
Stu Bykofsky is the Philly Daily News' house lunatic who writes like he's corresponding from prison and who believes another 9/11 is just the thing to put some hair on America's chest. Care to hear his thoughts on Phillies-Dodgers?...

Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....

Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...