san Page 479 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

David Dong Han To Become A Bright Shining Star
The man in this photo who is not Chargers linebacker/performance enhancer Shawne Merriman is a happy young man named David Dong Han. According to DC Sports Bog, Han attended Santana Moss' birthday party and then, unexpectedly, got his Goose on with what appears to be half the league....

So, Which 2000 Laker Needs Some Cash?
The Los Angeles Lakers will tip off Thursday to try to win their 10th NBA championship, their fourth this decade. The first championship, in 2000, might have been the most exciting one, as Shaq finally got his first ring with Kobe finally breaking through as a winner. Heck, that ring must be awfully...

Free Darko On Los Angeles-Boston
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the NBA Finals matchup between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......

Whitlock Says No Tattoos, No Fat Chicks Equals Ratings Bonanza
Jason Whitlock has a new column fortified with eight types of essential craziness, arguing that one of the main reasons ratings are up for the NBA Playoffs is that many of the teams that hung around are devoid of tattoo-clad ruffians and street toughs. Another shocking revelation: fat people have se...

Bill Simmons Puts On His Defeatist Hat
Oftentimes, Boston sports fans cringe when people uphold former Boston Sports Guy and current L.A. resident Bill Simmons' ramblings as a representative of their thoughts as a whole. And that's even when he thinks Boston teams are doing well. Some of them are taking added umbrage with Simmons' most ...

Lakers Worship Shiny Ball, Advance To Finals
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

NBA Playoffs: Lakers-Spurs, Game 5
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components — coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle — to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game....

Dr. Neil Clark Warren Explains The Rare Chemistry Between Kobe Bryant And Pau Gasol
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...

Only People Not Upset About The Foul Call: The Spurs
Of all the discussions and analysis of the foul-or-not-a-foul that probably cost the Spurs the Western Conference Finals last night, the one thing we can't get our minds around: Brent Barry was taking the last shot? Brent Barry? The guy who ruined the dunk contest? That Brent Barry? Well, jeez, no ...

The Foul That Wasn't (But It Really Was)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait to see how David Stern fixes tonight's Pistons-Celtics game in favor of Boston. When he's not coming up with new NBA Finals conspiracy theories, he can be found humming a jaunty tune at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

NBA Playoffs: Lakers-Spurs, Game 4
Basketbawful has pulled out his Ouiji board, Magic 8-Ball and Tarot cards in order to give you a little prognostication for tonight's game....

Vanessa Bryant Goes 'Susie Green' Once Again
Not to take sides on this Vanessa Bryant-Laura Lane cussing-out thing, but I've often imagined that living with Mrs. Bryant must be a lot like living with Susie Green from HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. Of course you know that Bryant shrieked insults at ESPN's Lane following the Lakers' game on Friday,...

You'll Want to Watch Ronny Turiaf For 12 Minutes Straight
TNT is rhetorically asking who you [points menacingly] want to have their own dedicated camera on for the first quarter. Natch, Kobe Bryant is running away with the vote, but the Turiaf movement is underway. Sadly, it's not going so well:...

Spurs-Lakers: First Blood, Part II
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to get a very bad feeling about these playoffs. A very bad feeling. When he's having nightmares about another Lakers championship, he can be found crafting Kobe Bryant voodoo dolls at Basketbawful. Enjoy! When you're pushed, killin's as easy...

There's No Reason That Random Urinalysis Can't Be Fun
Barry Bonds may be gone, but as penance for profiting over his steroid-soaked home run record chase, I think the Giants should have to dump Lou Seal and adopt a new mascot. Meet Petey P. Cup, who not only charms young and old with his playful urine-related antics, but serves as a sober reminder of b...

Another Reason For Stern To Fix The Western Conference Finals
At this point, the adage that "David Stern doesn't want a Spurs-Pistons final" has become so commonplace as to become tired. But if you live in a world that pretends that Nielsen boxes actually mean anything — because no one's ever met anyone with a Nielsen box and you could track actual viewing pat...

Free Darko On Los Angeles-San Antonio
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Los Angeles Lakers-San Antonio Spurs series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....

Spurs And Lakers Ready For Playoff Battle ... Again
We had kind of forgotten how inspired some of those old Lakers-Spurs series back in the day until this Pounding The Rock fanpost reminded us. They really had some brutal postseason bashes....