san Page 480 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Back To The Future! (For The Spurs)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who feels like he's watched Spurs-Lakers in the playoffs about a jillion times over the years. Or maybe it's just been Spurs-Whoever. When he's not misremembering his playoff history, he can be found mourning the death of the New Orleans dream at Basketbawfu...
The Spurs' Last Stand?
Basketbawful is here to share his thoughts and insights about tonight's climactic Game 7. So come and let us reason together. Or something....
Last Chance For All Your Spurs Bile
Either the world of NBA fans is going to collectively groan and try to work themselves up for yet another Spurs playoff series tonight ... or the Spurs' assault on our senses will perhaps finally end. Fingers crossed....
The Problem With The Padres? Tight Booties
What's wrong with the Padres? With Thursday's 4-0 loss to the Cubs, our Closest Team to Mexico is at 15-27, the worst record in the majors ... that's more horrible than Detroit, folks. The big reason seems to be the strikeouts-per-at-bats ratio, or as scientists call it, tight booties. Just listen ...
USC's In Dire Need Of An Image Makeover
USC's athletic programs have been getting rightfully shit-winded by all of this O.J. Mayo mess in the last couple days (and, before that, Reggie Bush) but it'll be tough to find a more comprehensive list of the school's indiscretions during the Pete Carroll/Tim Floyd eras than the one put together ...
Ryan Leaf Cleans Out The Attic Of Tearful Regret
Was it really 10 years ago that the Indianapolis Colts made the fateful decision to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf in the NFL draft? To mark the occasion, Leaf is showing off his No. 16 Colts jersey — yep, one such exists — which he found while rummaging through some personal belongings recentl...
Of Mice And Men
You can imagine my pride when I discovered that my two local baseball teams, the Giants and Athletics, were found to be among the worst transgressors in a recent survey of health code violations at stadium concessions. As far as Oakland's McAfee Coliseum goes, all I have to hear are the terms "overh...
The Spurs Mascots Are Stealing Your Soul
There are many reasons to cheer against the Spurs in their series against Chris Paul and the former NOOCH New Orleans Hornets. The rapidly multiplying Spurs mascots would have to be considered pretty high up on that list. Lord....
Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...
Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring ...
Hawks Exit Stage Left
The Atlanta Hawks gave their fans plenty to cheer about with three home wins against the Celtics, but they were finally finished off this afternoon. Boston continued their home dominance with 99-65 curb-stomping, although it could have been much worse. The win sends them into the second round again...
Free Darko On Los Angeles-Utah
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Los Angeles Lakers-Utah Jazz series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...
Footballers and the Porn Stars Who Love Them
Earlier in the week Chelsea celebrated their Champion's League semi-final triumph (don't tell Jose) over Liverpool with a field trip to popular London night spot. Needless to say, their presence did not go unnoticed by fellow club enthusiasts....
Cubs Preparing For When Ryne Sandberg Becomes Their Manager
When the day finally comes that Lou Piniella explodes like Port Chicago — oh, and he will — who will step in for the Cubs? How about Ryne Sandberg? The Hall of Famer, now manager of the Class A Peoria Chiefs, will try out the manager's chair when he returns to Wrigley Field on July 29; his team taki...
Free Darko On San Antonio-New Orleans
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
Well, That Was A Fun Day
Let it be known that as enjoyable as it was to substitute "edit" Deadspin the day after all hell broke loose on HBO, it is not without its drawbacks. Like, for example, I have no idea what happened in any actual sports news today. But I do appreciate the tips, the opinions, the mash-ups, the well-wi...
It's Deja Vu In The NBA Playoffs
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is mourning the Suns today. When he's not being bummed out, you can find him hating the Spurs at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Maria Menounos Will Bring Her Swarthy Greek Thunder Side Out
And here's some media-related news that will only be fun for those of us who enjoy TV journalist Maria Menounos' exemplary, hard-hitting work on the Today show and Access Hollywood. From an email:...
Breaking: Pirates Bobblehead May Be Giving Us The Finger
The Pirates and Mets were rained out on Monday, giving Pittsburgh fans a little extra time to pull their Tom Gorzelanny bobblehead dolls out of their boxes and examine them closely for the first time. Fans received the bobble on Saturday as the Pirates took on the Phillies at PNC Park. Examining the...