san Page 501 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Say Replace Theismann With Borat Right Now
The Borat movie — Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan — is almost here, which pleases us greatly. We're kind of confounded by the release schedule, though. There was a premiere in Los Angeles on Monday (Defamer, of course, was there), and there was o...
No Steroids In The NFL, Nope: That's Baseball's Problem
If you will, a case study:...
Nobody Said No Like The Mid-80s Lakers
Just to continue our cavalcade of strange videos from the 1980s today, here's a "Just Say No" video from the Showtime LA Lakers. You really haven't lived until Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who of course knows nothing about the demon weed, say he doesn't need drugs, he's got a higher thing....
Snack Foods We Have Heard On High
Once in a generation, an idea comes along that is so perfect, so sublime, so incredibly simple yet bathed in the blinding light of genius, that all we can do is blink in wonderment. This, friends, is beer-flavored potato chips. Oh, and did we mention there's cheese?...
When Baseball Players Are Asked: 'You Have Haramph Like My Friend, Can I Touch?'
Like many of you, we suspect, we cannot wait for the new Borat movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Therefore, we present this old Borat clip, as he visits a Savannah Sand Gnats minor league baseball game, with predictable results. No matter how...
Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy
I know that a lot of you will be commenting with heavy hearts today, in the wake of the Yankees stunning loss to the Detroit Tigers last night. It took the Tigers just four games to oust the Yankees from the playoffs, send George Steinbrenner into a murderous rage, make Brian Cashman hide under hi...
Oh, It Never Rains In Southern California
"All right Chief, you're our last chance." That's Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest, in which his character, Randall McMurphy, tries to urge a fellow insane asylum inmate to cast the deciding vote so that the ward can watch the Dodgers-Yankees World Series game on TV. That bid failed....
Live Playoff Blog: Padres Vs. Cardinals, Game 2
All right, so after doing this live blog of a Cardinals game thing on Tuesday, it's pretty clear now that our hearts can't take it. It's difficult enough for us to survive watching these games; we can't actually be expected to type about them. Therefore, we're handing over the live-blogging chores t...
9-4-2-2 DP? 2 U? 9-4-2 DP? What's The Frequency, Kenneth?
We might be the only person on earth who cares about this, but earlier, we wondered aloud how in the world a scorer — if you were, ahem, the type of dork who brings a scorebook to baseball games — would possibly handle that bizarre "double-play" during the Mets-Dodgers game. 2 Unassisted? 9-4-2? 9...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The San Antonio Spurs
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Today we begin the Southwest Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at [email protected]....
Live Playoff Blog: Mets Vs. Dodgers, Game One
This is John Maine, and, so it's known, he's really not a bad pitcher. (Why did everyone act like El Duque was somehow Johan Santana, anyway? You know he's about 84 years old, right? Plus, now the Mets have Oliver Perez on their roster, so what could possibly go wrong?)...
The Day After For The 0-1 Teams
One of the joys of writing about sports on the Web is how every day is a little more important than it would be if glimpsed from a wider perspective. Fortunately, during the baseball postseason, there is no wider perspective: Everything matters in every possible moment. (If you don't believe us, ask...
Live Playoff Blog: Padres Vs. Cardinals, Game 1
You know, it's absolutely perverse that we are expected to sit here and live-blog a Cardinals playoff game. How, exactly, does one spell a primal scream of pain? Last year, during the NLCS, we realized that we were literally running back and forth, stomping our feet, howling at the television screen...
Playoffs Pants Party: Mets Vs. Dodgers
All told, we'd rather listen to "I Love LA" for the five-millionth time than "Our Team, Our Mets." This is probably the most intriguing series of the four, with teams from the two largest media markets in the country, which is probably why it starts on at 4 in the afternoon....
Where My Team Stands: Los Angeles Dodgers
If we've learned anything about Octobers the last few years, it's that the month tests, stretches and hones every aspect of loyalty fandom. Typically, we pretty much just tell our friends that we'll see them sometime in November. It's a stressful time....
Playoffs Pants Party: Padres Vs. Cardinals
We know there's absolutely no reason to believe the Cardinals belong here, and we know that the Red Sox, the Phillies and the Angels — teams that weren't particularly close to making the playoffs — all had better records. That doesn't mean we still can't be happier the Cardinals are here. October ...
Where My Team Stands: San Diego Padres
If we've learned anything about Octobers the last few years, it's that the month tests, stretches and hones every aspect of loyalty fandom. Typically, we pretty much just tell our friends that we'll see them sometime in November. It's a stressful time....
You Can Lean On Him
So yesterday, it came out that San Diego Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was arrested by the DEA for shipping codeine-based cough syrup to Texas. The substance, which mixed with "either soft drinks or drugs" (two entities we wouldn't imagine to be so easily interchangable), creates something called "l...
A Jersey For Very Tiny, Annoying Humans
If you want your T.O. live press conference updates — and boy, DON'T YOU — you can find them right here....
"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...