scream Page 150 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Real Madrid Are Way, Way Too Good
For practically any other club in the world, missing players like James Rodríguez and Luka Modrić would be reason for panic. The absurdly deep squad of Real Madrid, though, can plug in the most expensive player of all time, and a little Spanish genius, and maybe play even better....
Nobody Wants Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must've thought that his two-year loan move away from Chelsea—where, instead of repaying his outrageous transfer fee with a highlight reel of goals, he became more well known for his comical, almost unbelievable ability to miss unmissable shots—to AC Milan would be the perfect opport...
L.A. Galaxy Celebrate MLS Cup With Geysers Of Beer And Champagne
Soccer may not be the most American of sports, but at least the participants have the good sense to abide by our celebratory traditions when playing over here. Case in point: the L.A. Galaxy's alcohol-drenched locker room bacchanalia right after winning the MLS Cup....
Power Cuts Off Mid-Match In Europa League; Fans Light Arena With Phones
Play was temporarily suspended in today's Beşiktaş-Tottenham Europa League match when the power in the stadium went out in the eighth minute. In the interim, fans used the glow of their cell phones to light up the place. Here's video of when the lights went out, and some cool shots of fans wavin...
Neymar Belter From Distance Puts Barcelona Up 2-1 On PSG
Barcelona decided to break out a completely new formation for today's crucial Champions League match against Paris Saint-Germain. It was a sensible but risky choice, since the club has the parts to play three at the back but hadn't yet proved it could come together. Well, when Neymar struts through ...
Joey Barton Received A Death Threat From An Angry Frenchman
On Twitter today, veteran QPR midfielder Joey Barton dug up a a death threat from last year, during his loan to Marseille. It's violent!...
Brazilian Legends Pelé And Coutinho Are Terrible At (Video Game) Soccer
What do you get when you give maybe the greatest soccer player of all time and his old strike partner a couple controllers, a soccer video game, and point a camera at them? Pretty much the same level of cluelessness if I gave the same tools to my grandpa. But hey, at least they have fun with how muc...
German Zombie Scores Game-Winning Goal While Wearing A Defibrillator
Why, you might be asking, do the other members of German third tier side Stuttgart Kickers react to Daniel Engelbrecht's not particularly impressive game-winning goal, scored in stoppage time, with such passion and joy? Well, it's because Engelbrecht is a real life zombie....
Sad Liverpool's Champions League Exit Leaves Them Screwed Twice Over
It's still hard to judge just how hard we should come down on this Liverpool team when they inevitably find ways to muck up golden opportunities. On one hand, it's mind-boggling that Liverpool, the reigning Premier League runners-up, could fail to advance to the Round of 16 in an obscenely favorab...
Anderlecht Player Celebrates Goal With Unique Romantic(?) Gesture
We're familiar with the thumb-in-mouth celebration (usually aimed at the scorer's child), and the point-to-the-stands one (usually in acknowledgment of the scorer's friends and family), but Anderlecht striker Aleksandar Mitrović's cunnilingis-inspired ode, ostensibly targeted to the lucky lady(s) in...
Aaron Ramsey Is The Best Soccer Man In The World
Yo. He CRUSHED that ball....
Manchester United Are Back Where They Belong, But Can It Last?
Well, they've done it. They've survived the year from hell, with a hopelessly overmatched manager, a rumored but never unveiled treasure chest meant to revitalize a squad whose actual age was catching up to their prematurely graying and receding hairlines, a humiliating season of unending self-infli...
17 Real Madrid Fans Banned From Stadium For Chants Of "Messi's A Retard"
You can understand, in light of the recent violence in Spanish soccer, why La Liga officials are a little sensitive to negative fan behavior, but this might be a bit much. Marca has reported that the league has banned 17 Real Madrid for chants aimed at Lionel Messi—"Messi's a retard"—and Catalonia—"...
Landon Donovan Retires A Champion; Galaxy Win 2-1 In Extra Time
Robbie Keane's goal in the 111th minute gave the LA Galaxy a 2-1 lead over the New England Revolution en route to their fifth MLS Cup, and third in four years. Keane's cartwheel/somersault/finger gun celebration was impeccable....
Soccer Referee Runs From Furious Players After Match Ends
Brazilian referee Marielson Alves Silva had to flee when some irate Figueirense players confronted him after the end of their 2-1 loss to Internacional....
Neymar + Suárez + Messi = Destruction
Having the world's fanciest dribbler weave past defenders and flick the ball out to the world's best all-around striker, who then chips a pass to the world's best player, who then pokes it past a defender, then past the keeper is a pretty foolproof strategy, it turns out....
Clueless Soccer Owner Tacks On More Racism In Apology For Earlier Racism
Dave Whelan, the septuagenarian owner of former Premier League club Wigan, is having some trouble keeping his foot out of his mouth. Of course, when words like "chink," "chingaling," and phrases like "Jewish people chase money more than everybody else" seem like acceptable fodder for public statemen...
Goat Wants To Be Club's New Goalkeeper; Mean Greeks Cut Short His Tryout
Look, maybe trying out for the team mid-match shows some bad timing on the goat’s part, but let my man at least try to make a couple saves. His positioning looks impeccable, and forwards are going to think twice before challenging for balls in the air knowing horns like that are aimed at their ribca...
Argentine Woman Says She Was Brutally Beaten For Wearing Soccer Jersey
Above is a picture of Lorena Sabio and her daughter, wearing a River Plate shirt ahead of the club's match against archrivals Boca Juniors last Thursday. Sometime later that evening, she was in the hospital undergoing a total of 14 operations to deal with the savage beating she claims she endured at...