scream Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>FIFA Weekly's</em> Sepp Blatter Profile Is A Marvel Of Propaganda
This week's edition of FIFA Weekly, a magazine that exists, for some reason, contains a short profile of FIFA president Sepp Blatter. It is one of the most rank and shameless pieces of propaganda ever committed to print. ...
Cameroonian Soccer Player Dies After Fan-Thrown Object Hits Him In Head
Albert Ebosse was pronounced dead shortly after his team lost to USM Alger in the Algerian football championship. Fans allegedly threw rocks on the pitch as both teams were heading for the locker rooms after a 2-1 win over JS Kabylie. Ebosse was hit in the head and taken to the hospital in Tizi Ouzo...
Athletic Bilbao Robbed Of Equalizer From Goalkeeper, Lose To Malaga
Athletic Bilbao appeared to steal a tie from the jaws of defeat with a goal in stoppage time off a set-piece header from their keeper, Gorka Iraizoz. After the initial frenzy, it was disallowed for no apparent reason. Malaga hung on to win, 1-0....
Bayer Leverkusen Scores On Borussia Dortmund Nine Seconds Into Match
Karim Bellarabi set a new Bundesliga record when he scored the opening goal of Borussia Dortmund-Bayer Leverkusen just nine seconds into those teams' league season....
Sweet Romelu Lukaku Run Puts Everton Up 2-0 On Arsenal
Romelu Lukaku leapt and no-look passed Everton to a 2-0 lead over Arsenal in the last minute of the first half with a great run and feed to Steven Naismith. Naismith was offside, yes, but it's still a pretty bit of soccering. ...
Did Mesut Özil Actually Suck Last Year? Whose Fault Was That?
It was easy to blame Mesut Özil, because it's easy to blame any athlete for anything. But last year, it was particularly easy to blame Mesut Özil. He arrived under the halo of his record £42.5 million fee at Arsenal, implicitly anointing him Savior, a title that almost always preempts failure....
Mauro Zárate Drills Home Magnificent Volley Off The Deflection
West Ham United took a 1-0 lead on Crystal Palace today when Mauro Zárate—in his first start for a new squad—lined up a volley after a sky-high deflection of a shot from teammate Mark Noble....
What An Enormous Boner
Peruvian side Universidad César Vallejo took a 2-1 lead into the half against Colombian squad Millonarios in Copa Sudamericana action tonight thanks to the enormous boner of Millonarios keeper Luis Enrique Delgado....
The Sad Ballad Of The Short-Lived @TotallyManU
The tragedy of Totally Man U must be a gag. No one would leave their job and spend their money just to blast out news to Manchester United fans all day, right? Right?...
British Skip Bayless Has A Strong Take On Mario Balotelli
We'll have more on this as an actual soccer move when (if?) it becomes official, but it's looking pretty near certain that AC Milan striker/international style icon Mario Balotelli will be returning to the Premier League, slotting in at Liverpool to replace Luis Suárez. Chris Bascombe over at the Te...
Kid Asks Jamie Carragher The Only Luis Suárez Question Worth Asking
A kid at a soccer camp asked Jamie Carragher, former Liverpool teammate of the bitey Luis Suárez, if Suárez ever sank his teeth into him. Carragher gave no answer except for a laugh. Kid should have followed up....
2022 World Cup Final To Be Played In City That's Currently Not Real
The 2022 Qatar World Cup continues to be a disastrous exercise for the world's most beautiful game. In addition to the deadly slave labor and oppressive heat, a CNN article from Monday points out that the city expected to host the final, Lusail, still needs to be built: ...
Turkish Soccer Fans Honor Mike Brown
[Besiktas fans at today's Champions League qualifying match against Arsenal hold up a sign in honor of Mike Brown, the unarmed 18-year-old who was shot dead by police in Ferguson, Missouri, last week. Photo by Ehran Aladi/Getty]...
How Chelsea's Missing Piece Fell Into Their Lap
Yesterday, Chelsea kicked off their season against Premier League minnows Burnley. When the match started, their new, star midfielder Cesc Fàbregas looked strange, out of place donned in blue. He didn't seem like he fit. ...
Chelsea, <em>Hot Damn</em>
It's too early to declare something a goal of the year contender...right?...
MLS Players Scores His Own Shoe (It Did Not Count)
Toronto FC's Bright Dike gave this a decent effort but MLS still requires that a valid goal must be scored with the game ball, not one's cleat. Bummer....
Something Disgusting Happened In Ashley Young's Mouth
It's hard to say exactly what this is that flies directly into Ashley Young's mouth—many on Twitter say it's bird shit, which should make you want to eat Clorox wipes for a week—but even if it's just human spit, it's equal parts amazing and gross. ...
West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs
An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur....
This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....
Angry Soccer Coach Tries To Kick Ball, Falls Right On His Ass
Here is your latest reminder that you should never, ever try to kick something while you are angry. Because when you are angry you tend to forget things—like the fact that you are wearing very expensive dress shoes and standing on a slick floor, and that even though you are so damn mad and that ball...