scream Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Borussia Dortmund Player Scores Goal, Dons Spider-Man Mask
Borussia Dortmund beat Bayern Munich 2-0 in the DFL Supercup today, thanks in large part to a spectacular header from Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the 61st minute. After he scored, Aubameyang yanked a Spider-Man mask out of his sock and put it on his head because, sure, why the hell not?...

American Hero Clint Dempsey Gives Up Shirt For Kid's Popcorn
Clint Dempsey was craving some popcorn after the Seattle Sounders' game against Houston last night, so he gave his jersey to a kid in the stands in exchange for free reign at a bucket of popcorn. Also, anyone in the vicinity interested in seeing a shirtless Clint Dempsey got that view at no extra ch...

Diego Maradona Slaps Fool-Ass Reporter For Winking At His Ex-Wife
Diego Maradona is and always will be the GOAT, mostly because he's the type of dude who, at the age of 53, will calmly exit his car, wade into a throng of reporters, find the one who may or may not have winked at his wife, and slap that dingus right in his face....

It's Over Before It Started: What You Need To Know About France Ligue 1
France's Ligue 1 kicks off today, and outside of watching Zlatan Ibrahimović and Paris Saint-Germain make fools of their opponents week after week en route to a third league championship in three years, you may be thinking "What's the point?"...

Ted Lasso Is Back, And He's Still Clueless About Soccer
Jason Sudeikis has reprised his role as Ted Lasso, the American football coach who doesn't know shit about soccer, and the bit is still funny....
![Soccer Star Ezequiel Lavezzi Poses With Naked Vagina [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uow9ob8or0sdfxxldht7.png)
Soccer Star Ezequiel Lavezzi Poses With Naked Vagina [NSFW]
This is Argentina and Paris Saint-Germain player Ezequiel Lavezzi. According to one soccer reporter, Tancredi Palmeri, once-private pictures of the soccer player with a lady are now being circulated around the internet. They are below:...

The Best Fake Soccer In The World Is Played Right Here In The USA
BERKELEY, CA. - The flashing electronic bulletin board on College Avenue read “SOCCER EVENT.” Berkeley Police closed off main roads a mile out from California Memorial Stadium an hour before Real Madrid was to play Inter Milan in a fake soccer game as part of the International Champions Cup, a fake ...

Real Madrid Might Be Unstoppable
As transfer windows go, this one has quietly been super. In England, Arsenal have done some things, as have Chelsea, and Manchester United are going to maybe buy the entire Dutch national team and Arturo Vidal before September 1. Luis Suárez bit someone, then got shipped to Barcelona to team up with...

Pro-Palestinian Protestors Storm Pitch, Fight With Maccabi Haifa Players
Maccabi Haifa was playing a preseason friendly against Lille in Austria when a group of protestors stormed the field and began fighting with the Haifa players. Allson Sinai of the Jerusalem Post reported from the scene:...

David Beckham Can't Find Anywhere To Build His Soccer Stadium In Miami
In February, Major League Soccer announced David Beckham would buy an expansion franchise to play in Miami for only $25 million, a perk from the contract Beckham signed with the Los Angeles Galaxy in 2007. The same day, Beckham revealed that he planned to build a new stadium for the team, funding th...

Mario Götze Less Excited Than Usual About Being On A Boat With His Lady
I guess it's true what they say. Success can really change a man....

Say Goodbye To The World Cup With This Gorgeous Animated Highlight Reel
These are still so awesome. Richard Swarbrick has made a few of these animated highlight reels and they are always great bits of eye candy. ...

Germany's World Cup Victory Ceremony Was Really Something
American championship parades may feature unexpected swearing and goofy-ass dancing from time to time, but we really don't have shit on the Germans. When they celebrate a championship, they pull out all the stops....

This Man Should Be Brazil's Next Manager
The Brazilian soccer association has confirmed reports that Brazil's manager, Luiz Felipe Scolari, has resigned. Huge surprise! Luckily, we've come up with the perfect, if unconventional, choice to be his successor....

All 171 World Cup Goals, Ranked
Here are all of the goals scored at the 2014 World Cup, ranked from best to least-best....

Concussed Christoph Kramer "Can't Really Remember" World Cup Final
Christopher Kramer wasn't supposed to play in the World Cup final. The young midfielder was told just minutes before kick-off that he'd be replacing the injured Sami Khedira. So you could forgive him if that's why the whole thing seems like a blur to him, but really it's just because of the brain tr...

How Bayern Munich Won The World Cup
Yesterday, Germany beat Argentina in extra time to win the 2014 World Cup, and the only surprise is how many onlookers thought their victory was anything but inevitable....

The Guest List For The World Cup Final Was Pretty Ridiculous
Daniel McDonnell of the Irish Independent tweeted out this list of VVIPs and heads of state in attendance at yesterday's World Cup final:...

Rihanna Partied With The German National Team Last Night
Rihanna was on the scene in Brazil for last night's final between Germany and Argentina. Because she's Rihanna, she also got to stick around and party with the Germans after their victory....