scream Page 88 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Twitter Prankster Fools Sky Sports Into Reading Made Up Facts About Team From Gibraltar
Yesterday afternoon, Celtic lost a 1-0 stunner in Champions League qualifying to the Lincoln Red Imps, who are a semi-professional team from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the lone goal, and Celtic now have to win at home to avoid getting bounced by the best team from a country of 30,000....
Ronaldo's Performance During Euro Final Was Like Christ's Victory Over Sin And Death, Says His Sister
Cristiano Ronaldo didn’t turn water into wine or rise from the dead or even play the vast majority of the Euro 2016 final Portugal won last weekend. But he did hurt his knee and cry, which was apparently enough for his sister to compare him to Christ on the cross....
Mighty Celtic FC Lose Champions League Qualifier To Lincoln Red Imps, Who We Swear Are A Real Team
Celtic FC’s annual European humiliation came early this year, as they lost today in the Champions League second qualifying round against a team of semi-professionals from Gibraltar. A police officer scored the only goal in the 1-0 victory. ...
Something Like 20 Dudes Try To Stop Ramires From Murdering A Referee
Remember Ramires, that quiet, unassuming, indefatigable midfielder you used to see running around in Chelsea’s blue or Brazil’s yellow? Well, he’s in China now, and apparently something—the air, the food, the refereeing—has eroded his sanguine demeanor in just a few short months....
Graziano Pellè Newest Player To Get Stupid Rich By Going To China<em></em>
International tournaments are prime opportunities for both emerging and established talents to showcase their skills on the biggest stages in hopes of securing a move to a more prestigious team or league, and the raise that usually comes with. Graziano Pellè played well enough at the recently conclu...
Cristiano Ronaldo Dominated The Euro 2016 Final Without Even Playing
Eventually, as the days become months and months become years after yesterday’s Euro 2016 final, where Portugal bested France in extra time, no one will remember that it was the poorly played—though passionate—conclusion to a tournament that itself was stuffed with teams that played like our endeari...
Sweet Little Portuguese Boy Consoles Crying French Fan
It’s going to be so sad when these two grow up and are beating the shit out of each other in Euro 2024....
![TLC Concert Forces Top-Division Soccer Match To Be Played On Ridiculously Tiny Pitch [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mzcdd0kstvqvrw61bmpr.jpg)
TLC Concert Forces Top-Division Soccer Match To Be Played On Ridiculously Tiny Pitch [UPDATE]
Tonight’s match between the Western New York Flash and Seattle Reign took place on a ridiculously-configured pitch at the home of the AAA Rochester Red Wings due to a previously-scheduled concert by TLC at the Flash’s home stadium....
Two Exquisite Flicks Of Feet Gave France The Decisive 2-0 Lead Over Germany
This goal—Antoine Griezmann’s second on the day and the only two of the match that has sent tournament hosts France into the Euro 2016 final—is all about two touches. The first is that lightning-quick little stab of Paul Pogba’s right foot that allows him to burst into space while leaving Shkodran M...
This Is Definitely The Best Goal You'll See From An Amateur Keeper In America This Year
The league: the U.S.’s National Premier Soccer League. The team: FC Wichita. The opponent: the Shreveport Rafters. The player: goalkeeper Mark Weir. The announcer’s perfectly apt call: “Mark Weir just scored a freakin’ goal!”...
Selfie-Taking, Photo-Bombing Ball Boy Had Best Performance Of Portugal-Wales Game
Where Portugal and Wales failed to actualize their best selves during yesterday’s bland Euro semifinal, this enterprising teen ball boy put together a performance for the ages, one every subsequent ball boy will aspire to replicate....
Boring Euro 2016 Got The Boring Portugal-Wales Semifinal It Deserves
Euro 2016 has kind of sucked. There haven’t been more than about four honest-to-goodness entertaining games, the over-expanded field and the resulting imbalanced matchups have given us too many teams too content to play—“play”—for 0-0 draws, and only a couple of the best teams and players have put o...
Lionel Messi Convicted Of Tax Fraud, Given 21-Month Suspended Prison Sentence<em></em>
Today, Lionel Messi and his father Jorge—the latter who oversaw his son’s finances—were both convicted of defrauding the Spanish tax authorities for €4.1 million. They were given a suspended sentence of 21 months in prison, which will not result in any actual jail time....
UEFA Is Sick And Tired Of All These Adorable Children
Some of the most endearing images from the Euros were snapped after Wales beat Belgium in the quarterfinals, when some of the ecstatic Welshmen celebrated the feat alongside their adorable children. Naturally, the haters at UEFA didn’t like these photos of pure joy and don’t want the scenes to be re...
Russian Players Punished For Allegedly Spending €250K On Champagne After Euros Loss
The video you see above—in which an unending stream of bartenders at a Monaco nightclub lug bucket after bucket after bucket of Armand de Brignac champagne (about €500 per bottle, times the reported 500 bottles in circulation, equalling a €250,000 bar tab—not counting tip and sparkler fees) to the t...
Iceland Did One Last Viking Clap With Their Fans
Iceland lost to France 5-2 in the Euro quarterfinals, after getting bum rushed for four goals in the first half. But the fact that Iceland—population: the same as Santa Ana, California, a city you didn’t know existed—even advanced far enough to get knocked out by France was a tremendous accomplishme...
José Mourinho Is Back, And He's His Old Shit-Talking Self
The José Mourinho Era at Manchester United officially kicked off today as the Portuguese manager was finally unveiled for the job he’s not-so-secretly pined after for years and we’ve all known he would get for months. Judging by the track suit he slipped into for the photo op on Old Trafford’s pitch...
Iceland Turn Back Into A Pumpkin, Give Up Four First-Half Goals To France
Iceland headed into their quarterfinal with France on the high of destroying England and sending the over-anxious Anglos into full meltdown mode. The entirety of Iceland has been watching their Viking boys wreck shit and play coherent, organized soccer, and an upset against France would be easily th...
Cristiano Ronaldo Freaked The Fuck Out During The Portugal-Poland Penalty Shootout
We’re used to seeing Cristiano Ronaldo as the picture of confidence, swaggering around the pitch with his chest all puffed and his chin to the sky. But Ronaldo is indeed human (or at least has recently underwent a software upgrade which included a new and incredibly realistic human behavior-miming m...
Sweet Mother Of God, Radja Nainggolan Kicked This Ball So Hard
If you want to see what a perfectly struck shot from distance looks like, Radja Nainggolan’s deep jackhammer goal he just scored for Belgium against Wales is it:...