screamer Page 108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Anthony Martial Is Manchester United's Best Player, And That's Their Problem
Judging by the club’s post-Alex Ferguson travails, it would’ve been perfectly fitting if Anthony Martial—Manchester United’s last-minute solution to their attacking woes, who cost the club about two arms and four legs—would’ve turned out to be a bust....
Oh My God, A Chinese Club Just Bought Alex Teixeira For €50 Million
What is going on here???...
PSG Are Hampered By How Horrible Ligue 1 Is
Paris Saint Germain played Lorient in the league today. And they won. Just like they have in each of their last eight matches, and 17 in their last 18, and 30 in their last 33. That’s because as good as PSG undoubtedly are, Ligue 1 sucks....
Radamel Falcao Latest Chelsea Player To Be Cast Aside In Favor Of Future Legend Matt Miazga
Chelsea’s newest and hottest prospect, American center back Matt Miazga, has been in London for barely over a week and he’s already reshaping the club....
Can Cristiano Ronaldo Dunk?
So a couple hours ago, Cristiano Ronaldo—who is one of the greatest players in the history of the game of soccer because he is also one of the most physically dominant athletes of all time in any sport anywhere—posted a photo of himself dunking a soccer ball on a basketball hoop. My colleagues, a de...
Arsenal Couldn't Score Yesterday Because Fraser Forster Turned Into A Brick Wall
From a simple glance at yesterday’s scoreline, you might think that Arsenal failing to beat Southampton at home would be evidence of Arsenal picking the worst time to pull an Arsenal—and you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong. However, the bulk of the credit for Southampton’s 0-0 result should fall on Sa...
So Leicester City Might Actually Do This, Huh?
Leicester City smashed Liverpool 2-0 today on the strength of a Jamie Vardy wonder goal, and a much less spectacular but almost as vital strike by Vardy 11 minutes later. Leicester City’s attack was absolutely humming—before the second goal came a Barcelona-esque sequence that should’ve resulted in ...
Holy Shit, A Chinese Team Just Bought Jackson Martínez For So Much Money
Look, Chinese teams flexing their newfound financial muscle by snatching up a handful of the best performers from the Brazilian league every season, or even by buying some very good though out of favor European players like Gervinho and Ramires is one thing. But breaking the bank for a striker on on...
Jamie Vardy's Wondrous Volley Is One Of The Best Goals You'll See All Year
Yes, this is video of Jamie Vardy—who, despite all odds is still the Premier League’s leading scorer—sizing up a visionary pass by Riyad Mahrez—still one of the most dangerous players in all of England—and instead of doing the sensible thing and taking a touch to figure out what to do next, straight...
Yaya Touré's Crazy-Ass Agent Is Talking Shit About Pep Guardiola And Man City Again
You know when a person is in a relationship and begins to sense that their significant other is losing interest, so that person starts raising hell, shouting about their own dissatisfaction and trying to spur a breakup on their own terms so as to convince themselves that it was actually they who wan...
Man Improves Live Transfer Deadline Day Report With Enormous Inflatable Banana
This steely-eyed banana wielder, interrupting Sportitalia’s deadline day report outside Chelsea’s stadium, took it upon himself to carry on the proud tradition of the purple dildo guy. Only there was just so much the Italian reporter could take before turning the tables:...
Referee Asks Ronaldinho For Autograph During A Game
And so Ronaldinho continues on in semi-retired career limbo. This weekend, the former Brazilian phenom laced up his boots for a one-off friendly with Ecuador’s Barcelona Sporting Club (no relation). Rather than suffering through some of the more harrowing moments we’ve seen from present day Ronaldin...
Argentine Cup Match Suspended After Players Won't Stop Beating The Shit Out Of Each Other
Argentina’s traditional summer tournaments came to an end last night with a suspension of the final Copa Ciudad de la Plata match due to both teams’ inability to cease punching and kicking each other....
Manchester City Confirm That Pep Guardiola Will Be Their Next Manager
As has been widely speculated for years now, and especially after the December announcement that Pep Guardiola would be stepping down as Bayern Munich manager at the end of this season, Manchester City have officially confirmed that Guardiola will take over for Manuel Pellegrini this summer....
Yawn, Another Ronaldo Hat Trick
Ho hum. Cristiano Ronaldo and Real played Espanyol (who are two points above the relegation zone) at the Bernabéu, and would you believe it, they kicked the shit out of them. Ronaldo had a hat trick and James was pinging in dangerous balls over the top all game. Here’s the best Ronaldo goal....
John Terry, Clearly Terrified Of Matt Miazga, Is Leaving Chelsea
John Terry is jumping ship from Chelsea this summer after his contract is up. He told reporters after Chelsea’s win over MK Dons in the FA Cup that he’d be taking off from the club he’d been a part of since 1995. Here’s what he said, as transcribed by the BBC:...
46-Year-Old Goalkeeping Coach Forced To Play, Holds Opponents Scoreless
Barry Richardson has enjoyed a long, meandering career as a goalkeeper across the English soccer pyramid. He played most of his career for Lincoln City and Northampton Town in the early and mid-90's, and hasn’t played a league game since 2002 or any game since 2005. Richardson signed on with League ...
Greek Teams Protest EU's Response To Migrant Crisis By Staging On-Pitch Sit-In
A match today in Greece’s second division between AEL Larissa and Acharnaikos began with all players, coaches, and referees sitting down on the pitch for two minutes in protest of European governments’ handling of the migrant crisis. Here is AEL’s prepared statement explaining the gesture, from Reut...
Police: MLS Player And Miss Washington USA Involved In Bizarre Stabbing Incident
A couple weeks ago, news came out about the mysterious stabbing of Marco Pappa, an MLS player, in his Seattle apartment where he was accompanied by Stormy Keffeler, the recently crowned Miss Washington USA. Details were scant at the time, but TMZ has learned more, and the specifics are wild....
Now That Chelsea's Season Is Dead, They Can Focus On Ruining Everyone Else's
The most satisfying moment during José Mourinho’s all-too-short second stint as Chelsea manager had to be after the final whistle of the final league match last season, when everyone at the club finally got to sing and dance alongside the Premier League trophy they’d won in such commanding fashion. ...