sec Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Former Major Leaguers Luis Valbuena, Jose Castillo Killed In Car Crash
Former major leaguers Luis Valbuena and Jose Castillo were killed in a car crash in Venezuela Thursday, as reported by the Orange County Register. Valbuena was 33; Castillo was 37....
Will Muschamp, Self-Proclaimed Molder Of Young Men, Didn't Talk To His Players About Voting
College football fetishizes the roles of its coaches as more than just coaches. They’re Teachers of Student-Athletes and Molders of Men. Always with the molding of men! In reality, the coaching pool is a mixture of bloated, irritable hicks and ancient, anal-retentive freaks. (Both categories are ove...
On Subletting Headspace At No Cost
The language that Joel Embiid uses can be taken as an ice core sample of the language the internet is using at any given time. The Sixers center is one of the NBA’s savviest disciples of the Do-It-For-The-‘Gram ethos, a skilled user of meme and timely dialect, always hitting the right notes to Maxi...
Drew Lock Throws Pass To Fallen Receiver, Results In Pick-Six
Saturday’s game between Missouri and South Carolina was a meteorological shitshow. Nothing in the game really encapsulated just how bad the rain in Columbia was like Missouri quarterback Drew Lock failing to see that his intended target on a screen pass had slipped and fallen, and throwing the ball ...
James Harrison Has An Unconventional Solution For Le'Veon Bell: Fake Injuries
James Harrison, the Steelers all-time sack leader, went on Second Take Tuesday, to talk football and the ongoing Le’Veon Bell situation with Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe. Harrison was reliably anti-authority and pro-players looking out for their money during his playing days, and here he was firm...
Hugh Freeze Thinks The "Climate In America" Is Keeping Him Out Of College Football
Hugh Freeze, a man whose horniness (or “moral turpitude,” if you’re a university official tasked with announcing his firing) got him shit-canned from Ole Miss a month out from the 2017 college football season, is now not so sure his dick is the only thing to blame for his unsuccessful job search....
Oh Khalil Mack Got PAID, Paid
Well, if the Raiders weren’t going to do it, another team would. After trading four draft picks for Khalil Mack, the Chicago Bears signed the 2016 Defensive Player of the Year to a six-year $141 million extension, making him the highest-paid defensive player in league history....
Kobe Bryant Still Wants To Help Your Kids Be More Like Kobe Bryant<em></em><em></em>
During the question-and-answer session that followed the screening of Kobe Bryant’s short film Dear Basketball at the Tribeca Film Festival last spring, Bryant said a lot of things that would have been very hard to credit from anyone less driven or deeply weird than Kobe Bryant. He used a lot of the...
ESPN Nukes Its Comment Sections, Unfairly Silencing Thousands Of Morons
No longer will you be able to read an ESPN.com article and then underneath receive the dumbest possible reactions to it. The Worldwide Leader has phased out its Facebook-hybrid comment sections, as confirmed by a company spokesperson this week. None of the keyboard mashing will be archived—they will...
LSU Pitcher Rips Two-Out, Two-Run, 12th-Inning Double In First Collegiate At-Bat
Boy, that’s a lot of hyphens. LSU sophomore pitcher Todd Peterson crushed a 12th-inning double that drove in what proved to be the winning runs in his very first collegiate at-bat tonight against South Carolina at the SEC tournament....
Ole Miss Pitcher Gifts Opponent Game-Tying Runs After Momentarily Forgetting How To Throw A Baseball
Ole Miss had a golden opportunity to take a 3-1 lead into the ninth inning of today’s SEC Tournament elimination game against Georgia. Instead, pitcher Parker Caracci flubbed what should have been the most routine possible toss home and allowed Georgia to score two runs, tying the game and eventuall...
Former Arkansas Running Back Sues Insurance Firm For Wriggling Out Of His Million-Dollar Policy<em></em>
Former Arkansas running back Rawleigh Williams III is suing Lloyd’s, a major British insurance firm, and claims it purposely slowed the processing of his insurance paperwork and then retroactively wrote in a preexisting condition clause. Now, with Williams’s football career over after a neck injury,...
You Can't Bully These Motherfuckers
When I write that CNN politics writer Chris Cillizza is the rankest assbrain in the Western Hemisphere, I am not being nice to him. When I write that God clowned Chris Cillizza before he was born by making him Chris Cillizza instead of a shit-eating maggot, I am being unkind. When I say that Chris C...
Report: The SEC Blocked Nick Saban's Attempt To Hire Hugh Freeze
According to Al.com, SEC commissioner Greg Sankey advised Alabama head coach Nick Saban to nix plans he had to hire former Ole Miss head coach Hugh Freeze as a co-offensive coordinator. ...
Shalane Flanagan Takes 13-Second Bathroom Break In The Middle Of The Boston Marathon
Here’s Shalane Flanagan, defending New York City Marathon champion and one of the best American runners of all time, sprinting to a porta-potty just before the halfway mark of this morning’s Boston Marathon:...
Michael Bennett Indicted On Felony Charge After Allegedly Pushing Past Stadium Worker At Super Bowl LI
As announced by the Harris County (Texas) District Attorney’s office, Eagles defensive end Michael Bennett was indicted by a grand jury today on the felony charge of injury of the elderly. The incident in question took place on Feb. 5, 2017, at Super Bowl 51 in Houston....
Collin Sexton Is Absurd
Alabama upset No. 16 Auburn 81-64 in the SEC quarterfinals today, with the Crimson Tide leaning heavily on guard Collin Sexton to keep their NCAA Tournament hopes alive. The freshman was good for a game-high 31 points and seven rebounds, but Sexton’s seemingly now-routine Impossible Play of the Game...
Michael Porter Jr. Is Back, And That Might Be Enough For Mizzou
On Thursday afternoon, a few but probably not too many minutes after 3:45 p.m. EST, Michael Porter Jr. is going to jog onto the court for just the second time this season. This matters because Porter is one of, if not the single most promising prospects in the upcoming NBA draft. Before the season t...
Unto This Rhinoceros Beetle I Say Hell No
Fuck this beetle:...