seppblatter Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chile To Investigate Pablo Neruda's Death; FIFA-Adviser Henry Kissinger To Investigate His Navel
A judge in Chile just ordered an investigation into the mysterious death of poet Pablo Neruda, who supposedly succumbed to prostate cancer 12 days after a Henry Kissinger-backed right wing coup installed a hideous dictator who brutalized and slaughtered his own people for years. The circumstances su...
War Criminal To Advise FIFA On Compliance
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, newly re-installed FIFA dictator Sepp Blatter has announced that that avatar of moral probity, Henry Kissinger, will advise FIFA's new corporate governance and compliance body from his seat on a "committee of wise persons."...
FIFA's Version Of Democracy Captured In A Single Photo
I'm sure all of you will be clustered around the internet wire today as the exciting results of FIFA's hotly contested presidential race trickle in. Early exit polls reveal that voters are evenly split between Sepp Blatter and Sepp Blatter, but you never know which way the suburbs of Prague will go....
Breaking: FIFA Member Not Suspected Of Corruption
Fans and executives around the world today were shocked to learn that Senes Erzik, a member of FIFA's Executive Committee , has not been mentioned in conjunction with any bribery allegations regarding the upcoming vote for FIFA President....
More Bad Madness On The Sepp Blatter Campaign Trail
A week before FIFA's presidential elections, another evil-smelling troll has escaped from the basement of Sepp Blatter's Swiss chalet. The current source of horror: Mohamed bin Hammam, Blatter's rival in the elections, was charged yesterday with offering bribes to members of the Caribbean Football U...
Cash-Filled Envelopes And Other Peculiars From Sepp Blatter's Reelection Campaign
It's hard to keep track of the political gyrations at FIFA these days, especially with president and Swiss money-eel Sepp Blatter running for reelection. Corruption charges have been flying since former FA head and England's 2018 World Cup campaign chairman Lord Triesman told the British Parliament ...
Sepp Blatter Says FIFA Will "Be Sucked Into A Black Hole" If Sepp Blatter Is Not Reelected FIFA President
Sepp Blatter, the international dictator disguised as FIFA president, wrote a letter to Italy's La Gazzetta dello Sport this week to warn the world that a failure to reelect him to a fourth term on the June 1 vote "could cause a tectonic movement with irreversible damage." Let's defer to him to set ...
Try To Look Surprised: England Says World Cup Voters Asked For Bribes
Ever since the good, godfearing Anglo nations were shut out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, rumors have flown that Russia and Qatar bribed their way to the top. No one would be surprised because it's FIFA, but it was also sour grapes. And maybe it still is, but this time England is naming names....
FIFA Gets It Wrong On Getting It Right
Goal-line technology could be getting its first major test in the Premier League next season, and be on its way to FIFA-wide use. It's long overdue, and yet they're even screwing this step up....
A Message From Sepp Blatter On International Women's Day
I suppose we should have expected Sepp Blatter to hoist himself onto a soapbox this morning. It is, after all, the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, which means it's also a perfect opportunity for Blatter to bleat some of the shameless agitprop for which he's beloved:...
Women Surfers Shouldn't Be Judged By The Beauty Of Their Skin, But By Their Talent On The Board
Your morning roundup for March 6, a day of toeing the "No shark's fin soup, you're cheap" classist line....
Sepp Blatter Never Met A Disaster He Couldn't Exploit
When we named Sepp Blatter one of the 10 worst men in sports earlier this month, we were being kind. Blatter's repugnance extends well beyond sports. He runs FIFA like a Swiss bank, hoovering up billions of dollars and disbursing them in ways that remain as mysterious as they sound dubious. And all ...
Grant Wahl's FIFA Candidacy Is Stupid, And That's Kind Of The Point
SI's Grant Wahl has announced his intentions to run for President of FIFA against Sepp Blatter when Blatter's term expires in June. It's a big joke, of course — a man without any executive experience. The sad part is that it's less of a joke than Blatter seeking a fourth term....
The Worst Men In Sports
Our friends at The Good Men Project have compiled a list of the top 10 good guys in sports. This is not that list....
Three Generations Of Wondering Why There's A Damn Shootout
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Sepp Blatter Suggests Gays Should "Refrain From Sex" At Qatar 2022. Dick.
This post, written by Richard Gilzene, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
South African Government Prankster Thanks "Dickhead" Blatter
On the President of South Africa's official website, there's an item honoring Sepp Bellend Blatter for bringing the World Cup. Problem is, "Bellend" isn't his middle name. "Bellend" is British slang for the knob of the penis. [thepresidency.gov.za]...
FIFA Mans Up, Sort Of
Sepp Blatter apologized to England and said FIFA will consider replay on goal line calls, a development that will come as some salve to the US team. Sorry Mexico: still no replay for offsides calls, probably because you don't speak English. [AP]...
Sepp Blatter Trafficks In Swinging Stereotypes
FIFA's president: "This is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries. If this had happened in let's say Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded." No, in the Latin countries, this would have been mandatory. [Evening Standard]...