si Page 1007 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nick Saban Brings Promise, Destruction to Alabama
Nick Saban and his presidential motorcade rolled into Tuscaloosa late yesterday afternoon may have startled gawking locals distracted by the big, fancy automobile rolling through town, as the Tuscaloosa News reports that "Saban's Motorcade Distracts Drivers":...

Tiger Mauls Helpless Leprechaun As Charlie Weis Looks On And Does Nothing
We are happy to report that the Sugar Bowl was one of several games available on iTunes this year, so we hope all of you Notre Dame fans took advantage of that. Just the thing to view over and over again during church. After LSU's 41-14 win Wednesday night — the Irish's ninth straight bowl defeat ...

K-Fed Will Totally Kick Your Ass, Bitches
When our chimp-like ancestors first descended from the trees and began walking upright about 6 million years ago, little did they know that it would lead to this. You should have warned us, Charles Darwin. Damn you to hell!...

About Last Night
What you missed while you were trying to nail your girlfriend on your parent's couch while watching Prime. •College football: I wanna be a cowboy, baby. I can smell a pig from a mile away. • NBA: Nowitski...goooood! • College football: Rutgers caps off memorable season with win in bowl game that wil...

Barbaro Fans Finally Go Too Far, Piss Off Dr. Richardson
We conclude our Barbaro coverage for 2006 with this message from Dr. Dean Richardson, chief surgeon of the University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center:...

Breaking News! Baseball Player Signs Ridiculous Contract!
I'm so excited to tell you this I might as well just copy and paste the fucker:...

We're Going To Wally World!
Someone asked us the other day whether or not our job was stressful. We thought about it for a moment and told them that our job is only stressful when we're not doing it. Doing Deadspin is the most fun thing we do; the only time it stresses us out is when we're away from the computer and terrifie...

NBA Roundup: Isiah, Knicks Will Rule Us All One Day
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

But He Means That In The Nicest Possible Way
We thought that we were pretty much up to speed on the brawl at Madison Square Garden and its aftermath, but now we're still a little confused. Is Isiah Thomas a "jerk," a "jackass" or an "asshole?" Our lines are still open, call in and cast your vote now! Nuggets coach George Karl left the question...

Please Do Not Reveal The Surprise Ending Of The Asian Games
You know that Indian athlete whom you thought had won the women's silver medal in the 800 meters at the Asian Games? The one you kind of have a crush on? Well, how can we put this delicately? She actually keeps her toilet seat in the locked and upright position. Um, she never saw Steel Magnolias, ...

Who's Sorry Now? NBA Edition
No sooner had the new TV been taken out of its box over at the new Carmelo Anthony Youth Development Center in Baltimore than the kids got an eyeful of their hero throwing haymakers at various members of the New York Knicks during their wild brawl on Saturday. One has to wonder what Carmelo would ha...

Congratulations, Suzy Kolber Kissers
The voting has concluded at the 2006 Weblog Awards, and your winner is will be... Kissing Suzy Kolber, a site that's been mentioned here on Deadspin once or twice. The results haven't been made final or official, and they won't be until Monday. I guess they want some extra time to check for ballot...

God, The Full Monty, And You
In Western religion, most of us figure that God has already seen us naked on multiple occasions. And he ain't that impressed. Just look at Exodus 19:21 for proof: "And the Lord said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the Lord to gaze, and many of them perish. But ...

Dan Marino, The Early Broadcasting Years
We'd never seen this old video, of Dan Marino, back in the Len Dawson "Inside The NFL" days, making a verbal flub and kind of getting a little pissy about it. (When you've scared Len Dawson, you've scared the world.) It's from 2000, when Marino was first trying out as a broadcaster — and was, and is...

Hirshey: A Game Even Dumb Newbies Could Love
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Celebrating Isiah
There are all kinds of reasons to throw a party, but none of them are better or more significant than the third anniversary of the hiring of Isiah Thomas. Knicks owner James Dolan is throwing this bash, and the best thing about it? You're invited. No, really. Here's your invitation....

The Asian Games Will Brook No Shenanigans
As if you didn't know, the Asian Games begin today in Doha, Qatar. And no one involved is taking any chances. One of the events is chess (seriously), and before they can compete, all participants had to be tested for performance enhancers....

For Saving My Llama, Here's Some National Coverage, Doc
You probably don't know Dr. Dean Richardson, because why would you? You're a sports fan, and he's a veterinarian. No reason he could possibly come across your radar....

Get Fired Up, Knicks Fans
In honor of the Knicks' surprising road victory over the Cavaliers last night — which puts them one game out of first place, at 6-10! — we are proud to point out this Web advertisement for the Knicks (not one of the ones that, strangely, ran on this site) encouraging Madison Square Garden to "Experi...

That Smudge On Your Floor? That's The Big Ten
You know, new Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson isn't known as a disciplinarian in the way that Bob Knight is, but, jeez, he sure does make his players do some pretty publicly humiliating things to their teammates when they lose on national television, doesn't he?...