si Page 452 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?
All the time, people (editors, for example) are insisting that blogs have to have “a point” or must be “about something”; they are saying things like “Bert, what is this blog” and “I honestly forgot you worked here until just now and I think I preferred it that way.” That’s just how it is for all of...
No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes<em></em>
There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era...
Vikings Fire Passing-Only Offensive Coordinator John DeFilippo<em></em>
Only hours after his team was held scoreless for 58 minutes in a back-breaking Monday Night Football loss, Vikings offensive coordinator John DeFilippo has been fired, as first reported by NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport. DeFilippo lasted just 13 games in his second run as an NFL OC....
Can Seattle's NHL Team Recapture Vegas's Magic?
Seattle was officially awarded the 32nd NHL franchise last week, the culmination of a years-long process that absolutely everyone knew was leading to exactly this outcome. The announcement came one year to the day after Seattle voted to upgrade KeyArena, at which point the NHL’s decision became a me...
Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks
Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...
Normal Man Donald Trump Hilariously Fucks Up Army-Navy Coin Toss
There are many compelling reasons why a reasonable person might not want to be President of the United States. The hours and stress and travel are crushing, because the broader responsibility of the job is so crushing. What a president can or cannot actually do to alter the broader course of things...
Steph Curry Pulls Up From 238,900 Miles, Denies Moon Landing
Over the weekend, the Chang’e-4 spacecraft took flight from Sichaun province in China. It is bound for the far side of the Moon. The craft is expected to touch down early next month, becoming the first ever to “soft-land” on the far side. Where does Steph Curry think the craft is headed?...
Thank God David Silva's Hair Transplant Is Finally Taking Root
David Silva has long been one of the most aesthetically pleasing players in soccer, mostly because he is a wizard with the ball at his feet but also due to a handsome look that married strong, angular facial features with what was a delightfully messy mop of hair. Then last year he buzzed off that f...
Reports: Tenshin Nasukawa To Box American In Exhibition Match
According to reports, Japanese kickboxing prodigy Tenshin Nasukawa will be crossing over into another sport on New Year’s Eve, engaging in an exhibition match with a boxer at a Rizin card after weeks of back and forth over the promotional details. MMAFighting reporter Marc Raimondi has information a...
Welcome To Football Hell
Football can be perfect and beautiful. It can also suck complete and total ass for everyone involved. Today, we travel to Mankato, Minn. for the latter experience....
Hassan Whiteside Claims He Wasn't Mad, Just Had To Use The Bathroom When He Left The Bench Early
Miami Heat center Hassan Whiteside was having a fine game on Tuesday night, with a team-high 12 points as his team led the Orlando Magic 50-46 at halftime. But when he began to eat shit in a scoreless third quarter, so did the Heat, who were outscored 30-12 en route to a 105-90 loss. Miami head coac...
George H.W. Bush Happily Watching From Heaven As Houston Gets XFL Team, Says Dope<em></em>
In a press conference on Tuesday afternoon, commissioner and chief executive of the XFL Oliver Luck announced the eight cities and venues that would serve as home sites for the league’s inaugural season in 2020: Dallas (Globe Life Park), Houston (TDECU Stadium), Los Angeles (StubHub Center), New Yor...
Merril Hoge's Book Is As Desperate As The People Who Need Him To Be Right
Brainwashed: One man’s defiance of the science that threatens his legacy....
Good Job, Whoever's Doing These Beautifully Dumb Seahawks Videos
With the Legion of Boom falling apart—Kam Chancellor retired, Richard Sherman went to the 49ers, Earl Thomas was treated like shit then broke his leg and flipped off his sideline—the Seattle Seahawks looked like a team reaching the end of an era. To their credit, they’re 7-5 and in position for a pl...
The NHL Is Coming To Seattle
Following a unanimous vote from the league’s board of governors on Tuesday morning, the NHL has approved an expansion franchise for the city of Seattle, set to play in a renovated KeyArena. According to TSN, the team will begin play in the 2021-22 season....
The Texans' Reported Keys To Success Are So Stupid
In his Monday Morning Quarterback column, Sports Illustrated’s Albert Breer delivered this scoop about the Houston Texans, who have won their last nine games after starting the season 0-3:...
Oklahoma's Grant Calcaterra Makes Impressive One-Handed Touchdown Catch To Ice Big 12 Championship
On third-and-ten, from his opponent’s 18-yard line, Oklahoma quarterback Kyler Murray threw a perfectly-placed pass towards the end zone for tight end Grant Calcaterra. With the defender draped all over him, the sophomore was able to muscle away and outstretch his right arm to complete a one-handed ...
Pascal Siakam Is Fun For The Whole Family
Six-foot-nine and a grinning menace on the fast break? Check. Seven-foot-three wingspan and can be switched anywhere? Check. Glitch-like speed and the sweetest spin move going? Check. Extremely powerful name? Check. Dropped a 26-point, 8-for-10 bomb on the Warriors? As of last night, check....
The Unfortunately Named Russian Martial Art Sambo Would Make For A Kickass Olympic Sport<em></em>
The International Olympic Committee announced today that sambo was among the sports whose international governing bodies achieved temporary IOC recognition, a move that brings the regrettably named combat sport one step closer to eventual Olympic status. While fellow Olympic hopefuls like kickboxing...
Akron And South Carolina Will Play The Most Meaningless Game Of The College Football Season
On Wednesday, the University of South Carolina was compelled to issue a clarification regarding the tickets it was planning to give away for this Saturday’s home game against Akron at Williams-Brice Stadium. Yes, the upper level tickets were indeed free as reported but no, and this part was importan...