si Page 801 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Our Readers' Run-Ins With Virgil, Pro Wrestling's Saddest Man
Yesterday we discovered the wonder and depression of Lonely Virgil, a single-serving Tumblr chronicling the descent of the onetime WWF and WCW "superstar" into a deserted wastleland of comic conventions and indie show parking lots. And then we heard from readers. You people have met Virgil over the ...
When You Kiss The Ladies, Do It On Camera: How Richard Dawson Beat Bob Barker And Everyone Else
Richard Dawson is not dead. He is available on Television, which is now available on the Internet....
"Let's Clean This Thing Up. Let's Not Hurt The Game": Red Auerbach's Anti-Flopping Video
It was the mid '70s, and Red Auerbach wanted to teach the basketball world to stop flopping. To get his message across, he called in a dream team of Elvin Hayes, Clem Haskins, Wes Unseld, Paul Silas, Mike Riordan, and referee Mendy Rudolph, who was named head of officials and inducted into the Hal...
The Internet Has Uncovered The Single Saddest Former Pro Wrestler
Mike Jones spent most of his 25-year career wrestling around the world. His only brush with what could charitably be called "fame" was a four-year stint in the WWF as Virgil, the sadsack "bodyguard" of the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase. He rarely wrestled, instead settling for escorting DiBiase to...
What On Earth Is Happening Here? Apparently, A Wild Finish To An Aussie Rules Football Game
I'm not entirely sure what's going here, but I'll be damned if it isn't exciting. It comes to us from down under, where the first-place West Coast Eagles met the lowly Brisbane Lions this weekend in Australian Football League action. With the Lions trailing by three points in the closing moments, ...
Dirk Nowitzki Is The Teutonic Tambourine Man
His season over, last night Dirk was in Grand Prairie, Texas, to catch indie-folk band the Avett Brothers. Naturally, he was invited on stage to join in on "I Killed Sally's Lover." Dirk was handed a tambourine, and proceeded to rock right the fuck out. (Fun starts at the two-minute mark. [Cosby S...
Patrice Evra Wipes His "Backside" With A Teammate's Shirt, France Beside Itself
What you see here is, evidently, a grown man and professional athlete wiping his "backside" with a shirt and then sniffing it. This quote, which is being attributed to a Parisian magazine, Le 10 Sport evidences France's apoplexy....
Terrell Owens Claims He Is Not A Jerk To Sick Kids, Threatens Lawsuit
Things are getting serious in the Terrell Owens-indoor football team tiff. As we have covered, Owens was released because he failed to show up for some event for sick children—that was the spin, anyway....
Looking To Burn $5,000? The University Of Colorado Has You Covered
Right now on something called Higher Ed Surplus—a division of Public Surplus, which is like eBay for public agencies looking to get rid of their shit—the University of Colorado is auctioning off its 16-year-old basketball (and volleyball) court for the low, low price of $5,000. Now you can personall...
Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...
Cockblocked By Asthma!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
What Compression Gear Will And Won't (Mostly Won't) Do For You
What if pants could make me a better runner? With a half-marathon ahead of me, I decided it was time to try compression tights for training. As I struggled to pull a pair onto my slightly overweight legs, I could feel the skintight fabric transforming them from slack to firm, without any flexing. I ...
Uncle Gene At The Brigade Open: An Unlikely Host For Fight Night At West Point
Republished from The Classical....
Bud Selig Gives Hawk Harrelson A Stern Talking-To For Being An Obnoxious Homer
Upset with a one-sided beanball war that resulted in only a White Sox player getting ejected, broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson completely lost his mind. It was more of the sort of rah-rah-Sox stuff we've all come to expect from Harrelson, but there was extraordinary vehemence and venom in this parti...
Sometimes A Horse's Ass Can Be Found On The Top Of The Horse
The NBA Western Conference Finals moved to Oklahoma City yesterday, and the Sooner State was happy to welcome TNT's Inside The NBA crew, especially Charles Barkley. OKC officials provided Sir Charles this mount, which when asked later by reporters if Chuck was "light in the saddle," replied "Neigh....
The Joe Paterno Tribute Song The World Has Been Waiting For
This isn't the first song honoring Joe Paterno, but it's totally the best. Coming to us from Joey Welz, "The Boogie Woogie King of Rock 'n' Roll" and his Casio synthesizer, I so very proudly give you his latest single, "Tribute To Joe Paterno."...
Cops Take Down Pitch Invader With A Tackle Worthy Of Drawing A Yellow Card
A fan who rushed onto FedEx Field to celebrate Brazil's late goal to secure a 4-1 win over the United States in last night's friendly match found himself on the receiving end of what can only be called a clattering tackle....
Don Cherry Picks The Kings To Win The Cup Because They Have Fewer European Players
Last year, an academic study tapped Don Cherry as the new face of Canadian Nationalism. The world recoiled in horror, not least of all Canadians themselves. (I know. I asked them all.) But Grapes's geographical jingoism is something you kind of have to tune out, because at least it doesn't affect hi...
Better Know An Umpire: Derryl Cousins
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
U.S. Gymnastics Turns Its Back On Chellsie Memmel, Genuine Badass
At the 2006 world championships, Chellsie Memmel botched a release during her uneven-bars routine and tore her labrum. This was more or less the beginning of a prolonged shoulder nightmare that would culminate this weekend in the cold-eyed rejection of her bid to compete in the national championship...