si Page 838 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>Welcome Back, JaMarcus</em>: Russell Will Return To LSU In The Fall To Take Some Classes
LSU Sports Information Director Michael Bonnette tweeted yesterday that former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell would be returning to Baton Rouge to take classes in the fall. In his honor, we've cut you the opening credits of Welcome Back, JaMarcus....

Pirates Pitcher Finishes Inning, Gives Himself A Gatorade Shower, Pirates Lose Anyway
James McDonald had quite a game last night. Pitched seven innings for the first time this season. Rapped a bases-clearing double. Scored a run. And when he finished retiring the Cubs in order in the seventh, as the above video shows, he had himself a grand ol' time. The Pirates had (cough) been in...

James Dolan In Concert, Performing "Fix The Knicks"
Dolan, lead singer of JD and the Straight Shot, is a true singer-songwriter. He writes from the heart. He writes what he knows. Basically, he writes about people yelling at him all the time for doing such a shitty job running the Knicks....

Nick Swisher Has Released A Children's Album
Yankees outfielder and fountain of enthusiasm Nick Swisher has just released his first album, Believe. It features Swisher on lead vocals with Kidz-Bop-style backup, not to mention special appearances on guitar from Bernie Williams and Barry Zito. Looking at the track list, it's basically a concep...

Ohio State Can't Find Their Hitler Tree
Don't you hate it when you misplace your Nazi Olympic souvenir? [NPR]...

Dear Grantland: Have You Never Heard of Motörhead?
While readers wait for ESPN's Grantland to provide a space for comments and corrections, Deadspin continues to help the startup by accepting and publishing feedback. Comments below reflect the opinions of Grantland readers and are not necessarily the views of Deadspin. Readers who have additional co...

Wachovia Chasing Stephon Marbury For $16 Million Loan Starbury, Inc. Hasn't Paid Back
Tipster Kevin alerts us to an ongoing case in Montgomery County, Ohio, in which an affiliate of Wachovia/Wells Fargo is suing a familiar name—defendant Stephon X. Marbury....

The Long-Anticipated Furbush-For-Fister Deal Has Been Consummated
In MLB trade-deadline eve news, the Detroit Tigers get a right-handed workhorse Fister (first name Doug) from Seattle in return for a Furbush (Charlie) to plant in its bullpen and use when needed....

Friday Afternoon Fun With Asian People, With Special Guest Stars Neymar And Chien-Ming Wang
Set to jolly CONMEBOL rhythms, this is a local TV spot on Brazilian team Santos' new ad hyping their Club World Cup trip to Japan. Yep, those are Santos players making the slant-eyed gesture. We'd expect this kind of thing from one half of the Treaty of Tordesillas, but not both....

Kelly Leak: The Coolest Kid Who Ever Lived
The following is excerpted from Josh Wilker's book about The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training, written for Soft Skull Press's Deep Focus series....

When Tom Met Chad: Love Blossoms At The Patriots Camp
Tom Brady met his new wide receiver today. ...

Florida International University Hires Noted Sociologist Rick Sanchez
The AP reported — and a tanned portrait, complete with dapper summer hat, on the Florida International University sports site confirms — that former CNN anchor Rick Sanchez has been hired to be the radio voice of the FIU Golden Panthers football team. Sanchez has two sons at FIU....

Pussyblocked By Jealous Male Suitors!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

It's Not The Heat, It's The Humididong
Mitch Butler and Josh Landis couldn't even get through a simple 2:05 CBS Early Show segment exploring the nuances of humidity without slapping a big old phallic symbol up on the screen, and one with a rapidly increasing temperature, no less....

The Pirates' 'Formal Complaint' Over Last Night's Call Will Accomplish What, Exactly? (Update)
Absolutely nothing. But that hasn't stopped pandering homers like this in the Pittsburgh media from clamoring for the front office to "let them know the Pirates are through getting kicked around." Because nothing's gonna get the suits at MLB headquarters to bend to the Pirates' will quite like an e...

Michael Vick Loses An Endorsement Deal, And Not Because He Killed A Bunch Of Dogs
Just two weeks ago, Vick signed a deal to be the face of EnerJel, a nutritional supplement/energy boost that you can rub into your skin. Because swallowing Gatorade was getting too difficult. But this was a product whose time has come, and Vick was clearly the only man who could bring it to the mass...

On Future Bicycle Kicks, Do Not Aim For Your Face
Chelsea midfielder Yossi Benayoun is probably a very good football player, and it undoubtedly takes a great deal of athleticism to put oneself in position to kick the ball into one's own face. But still. He kicked the ball into his face! When he coulda kicked it into the goal! What a loser!...

BREAKING: Hall Of Famer, Admitted T-Shirt Thief Roberto Alomar Will Return The T-Shirt He Stole
Perhaps you read our story earlier today, of Blue Jays fans Fiyaz Kanji and Owais Farooqui, who made the pilgrimage to Cooperstown this weekend to see Roberto Alomar enter the Hall. But during the parade, Alomar took the $50 t-shirt that belonged to Kanji....

Chase Utley's Inside-The-Park Homer Is Better Than Anything That Happened In Your Game Tonight
The best part (or worst, if you're a Braves or Mets fan) of all of this is just how excited the crowd, and the announcer, gets. It's late in the game. Philly's already up 5-1, over the Giants, whose 3.62 runs scored per game is the worst among all division leaders. Philly's also got the NL East sa...

Pac-12 Releases A Highfalutin Hype Video That Arizona State Students Won't Be Able To Understand
We've provided here the full transcription of the purplest and most thesaurus-dependent prose to ever grace a promotional video for a college football conference. College football is back, you guys. Let me rephrase that: college football is back with "an avant garde redesign of the competitive bal...