si Page 837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....

A Gaggle Of Clever Sportswriters Is Starting A Long-Form Web Concern
The Classical bills itself as "a running, wide-ranging conversation between us and our readers about baseball, basketball, soccer, football and fighting, and about things that aren't sports, too." It'll have long features and blogs, modeling itself after The Awl....

Lady In Steph Curry Jersey And Leggings At Outside Lands Gives Us Our First Floopster Of The Season
At first I thought this was a man, which would have been a hoopster to end all hoopsters. Dangly earrings, big scarf, a ponytail, leggings, and a cool player's jersey....

Membership In "The James Bond Gang" May Have Cost Troubled Basketball Player His NBA Dream
In 2004, Sean Banks was named Conference USA freshman of the year for his court work at the University of Memphis. A year later, he was declared academically ineligible for his school work, or lack thereof. What followed was an undrafted free-agent singing with the Hornets that ended because of his...

Comedians: Cockblocked By Michael Vick!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Comedy Week curator Luke Cunningham got these four bonus stories from working comedians, so enjoy. Off we go....

Cockblocked By Your Own Underwear!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Okay Easton PR Guy, You Win
Perhaps you've seen "Ultimate Batting Practice" around this week; it's a full fledged viral video now. You'll recognize it by the egregious sodomy of physics, and the prominently-displayed dual Easton logos. It's a "dude" making magic with four pitchback rebounders, and that's all the info that come...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Jessica Kirson
Who? Jessica Kirson started in New York. She's big but never uses it to self-pity or incur sympathy. She uses it to destroy. The hardest comics to follow on a show are the ones that change the rhythm of a room. A one-liner comic throws off the pattern for the comedians that follow because the audi...

Here's Video Of A Soccer Ref Getting Pushed, Punched And Kicked Before Being Chased Off Into The Night
He also gets hit directly in the head with the ball. Almost forgot that. [BobsBlitz]...

What The Hell? Soccer Club Sacrifies Actual Lamb On The Pitch Before Match (SFW)
This is Turkish side Sivasspor posing with a restrained lamb before their friendly with FK Rad Belgrade. The camera cuts away, something happens, and the Sivasspor players are covering themselves with fresh lamb's blood for luck. It worked. The Serbs were scared shitless, and the Turks won 4-1. I'...

This Evening: From Russia With Love Dolls
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 9, the day we were priced out of the market for an aluminum bat. Photo via EnglishRussia.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Yup, This Is Bill Simmons' Mustache
Simmons debuted the above fuzz while guest hosting Pardon the Interruption today....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Boone Logan Ex Machina
New York Yankees starting pitcher Bartolo Colon threw himself-and all humanity-on the mercy of the universe Friday night, by daring to pitch against the Boston Red Sox. And the universe delivered a mixed verdict: 4.2 IP, 6 H, 2 R, 2 K, hooked for Boone Logan with the bases loaded in the fifth. The Y...

Sarah Silverman Helps Kick Off Deadspin's Second Attempt At Comedy Week
Some of you may notice how we've attempted to initiate some theme weeks into our editorial content this past year, including topics that have little or no connection to sports whatsoever. Last April's Comedy Week was our first trip into this uncharted territory, done in conjunction with our former f...

This Weekend In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Several of you sent in unintentional dong shots since Thursday night's "This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions" post. Here, four of you get the attention you so greatly deserve....

Here's Video Of A Smooth Assist In A German Soccer Match
Borussia Dortmund faced Hamburg to start their respective Bundesliga seasons yesterday, which you probably already knew. The former won the match 3-1, the highlight of which was Robert Lewandowski's assist on Mario Götze's give-and-go goal in the 29th minute....

Someone Took The Time To Write About How The Credit Downgrade Could Affect The NHL
Some of you math-y sporty types out there have probably wondered what Standard & Poor's downgraded rating on U.S. government debt means for the world of athletics....

If He Knew How, Nick Saban Would Troll Football Websites To Get Back At Reporters
University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's "first news conference of the preseason practice schedule" is annually a seminal moment in Tuscaloosa. At this year's FNCotPPS, Saban expressed dismay with the speed by which stories/rumors/innuendo spreads in the information age. Sayeth Saban to t...

When Mays And Mantle Were Banned From Baseball: Putting A-Rod's Gambling "Problem" In Context
As Alex Rodriguez stays in the headlines because he's Alex Rodriguez (even though he wasn't actually at the high-stakes poker game mentioned in the tabloids since he was playing in the World Series at the time), the real story is the re-emergence of baseball's complicated relationship with gambling....