si Page 850 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Justin Bieber Is More Valuable Than Scottie Pippen On The Basketball Court, Too
Your morning roundup for Feb. 19, the day Wisconsin edges closer to Cairo of the Heartland....

How The NBA Ruined The H-O-R-S-E Competition
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: The NBA's H-O-R-S-E competition was doomed to fail....

Adventures In Pant Stuffing!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Got one of your own? Share it with me. Off we go....

Tree-Poisoner's Lawyer Wants Off The Case Because He's An Auburn Fan
Time once again to play everybody's favorite game! SEC Fans: Big Children or Biggest Children? As a volunteer militia puts Alabama's Bear Bryant statue under 24-hour guard for fear of retaliation, the state gears up for its biggest trial since Atticus Finch defended Tom Robinson....

Let Us Begin Our All-Night Tree Vigil For The Oaks At Toomer's Corner
The trees are cloaked in their customary strips of toilet paper, and a man from Dadeville who named his kids "Bear" and "Crimson" awaits justice. At College Street and Magnolia Avenue in Auburn this evening, Tiger fans mourn the loss of their beloved oak trees. The sites seem to be having a bit of d...

Even Sixers Broadcaster Eric Snow Can't Stay Awake For An Entire Sixers Game
Eric Snow, Comcast SportsNet's color analyst for the Sixers, seemed to drift off in the middle of the Philadelphia-Houston game last night. 7th & Pattison recorded the moment for our scrutiny: with just a few minutes remaining in the second quarter, Snow seems to bail on his play-by-play man, Marc...

Tennessee's Scotty Hopson Disregards Human, Dunks
This would make a nice poster, what with the flat top and all. Hopson led the Vols with 23 points in a 73-67 win over South Carolina last night....

Daddy Loves You, Son, And Fuck Everybody Else
It's sweet that this Buffalo Sabres fan, knowing he'd be sitting up against the glass, made a "Dad Loves U" sign so his kids at home could see it on TV. It's poor timing, then, that the cameras finally found him after Toronto scored the go-ahead goal, and his natural inclination to flip off the Leaf...

Are The Russians Training 17-Day-Old Babies To Be Gymnasts?
Last month, a video emerged of a woman swinging a baby around her head. Mommy blogs around the world erupted in disgust and disbelief, and the general consensus was that it had to be a hoax. Well, it's not....

Hofstra's Charles Jenkins Hit A Game-Tying Three And A Game-Winning Three Last Night
Last night against William & Mary, Hofstra's Charles Jenkins knocked down a three to send the game into overtime, and then launched a game-winning 35-footer at the buzzer for the win. And you thought you'd never see a bona fide highlight from ye olde Colonial Athletic Association....

Katie Baker Has Been Poached By Bill Simmons For His Forthcoming Editorial Project
Our great friend and part-time contributor (even though everyone who worked here considered her full-time), has decided to leave the lush life of freelance writing while praying her day job co-workers at The Prominent Money Managing Vampire Squid would not find out its Katie Baker was the same as t...

O.J. Simpson Didn't Really Get Beaten Silly By A White Supremacist After All
The purported word coming from Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center today had all the makings of a Rockwellian portrait painted by the would've-been U.S. Rep. Rich Iott of Ohio. Accused murderer and convicted armed-robber Orenthal James Simpson got beaten so badly by a young skinhead in the prison...

The Rock Returns To Wrestling To Call John Cena A Tool
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson returned to WWE Raw last night for the first time in seven years. Why, you ask? To announce that he was hosting Wrestlemania 27 this April. Oh, and to talk shit about John Cena....

A Conversation With The Two Lucky Bastards Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards
Yesterday, we published the somewhat implausible tale about the two guys who accidentally got trapped in Camden Yards after a rainout and who turned the empty ballpark into their own personal playground and brew pub. They've come forward with more details....

We Have The Awful Pilot For Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show
A tipster has sent along the script for the first episode of Colin Cowherd's "relationship" sitcom, which is being developed for CBS and which is roughly The Honeymooners meets Frasier meets the really insightful parts of Bedtime for Bonzo. Here are some highlights....

Insurance Company Behaves Like Insurance Company, Voids Incredible Charity Hockey Shot
Richard Marsh was randomly selected from the crowd at an Indiana Ice home game last Saturday. His challenge: to hit a hockey puck, which is about three inches wide, the length of the rink and into a target slightly larger than three inches wide. AllState Insurance, the promotion's sponsors, pledge...

How To Get Arrested And Banned From Soccer: Pretend You're An Airplane!
Not just any airplane, mind you, but the one from the Munich air disaster which killed eight Manchester United players in 1958. So when a fan of Crawley Town was spotted making airplane gestures in a team-sponsored music video ahead of Crawley's FA Cup match against Man U, it caused some fuss....

A Nostalgic Look At Some Brilliant Goals From 1993-94
There's no real reason for this clip other than the fact it made The Spoiler weep salty tears of nostalgia — it's only the bloody Goal of the Season competition from 1994! And Matt Le Tissier didn't even win!...

Everybody's Talking Jordan's Nonexistent Comeback
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Paul Silas would love MJ in the lineup....

2011 SI Swimsuit Cover Gal: Irina Shayk
This may be a phony cover, manipulated by a stalker in love with Cristiano Ronaldo's girlfriend. But Letterman just announced Shayk's cover crowning during his afternoon taping so I guess it's legit. Wank away, gentlemen. (PHOTO: SI.com)...