si Page 889 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
College Jeopardy Contestant Honestly Confuses Coach K With "Jackass"
Actually, the Krzyzewski-related Johnny Knoxville movie they were searching for in that response was "The Dukes of Hazzard." But I think the judges will allow it. [WRAL]...
Maybe Tiger Woods Should Hire These People To Help Him Keep His Celibacy Contract
ABC News did a piece on on sex addiction and what Tiger Woods' new life will be like as the world's number one coozehound playing golf. He should fire Stevie Williams and bring on "Da Crabs Assassin" as his caddy....
How Is The Isiah Thomas Era Working Out For Florida International?
Not well: The Golden Panthers are 7-19 and "have sold a total of 1,075 individual tickets for nine home games." At least freshman Steven Miro—who turned down Columbia and Harvard to play for Thomas (seriously!)—is happy....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig, who died Feb. 10, 2003, of acute cocaine intoxication....
Pretty Lady Will Be On Cover Of Sports Periodical
Brooklyn Decker is the cover model of SI's ever-quaint Swimsuit Issue, which will also feature scandalous daguerreotypes of Lindsey Vonn, Ana Ivanovic, and other bathing beauties in their swimming-suits. [Sports Pros(e)]...
Super Bowl 44: Most Watched TV Thing Ever
Over 106 million American people watched the Big Game last night, breaking the U.S. audience record held by the series finale of M*A*S*H since 1983. Finally, someone put that smug Alan Alda in his place! [Hollywood Reporter/Gawker]...
You Saw It Yesterday During the Big Game: Dante's Inferno
In Dante's Inferno, Dante must save the hotness (puns!) that is Beatrice from the eternal torture of becoming Satan's betrothed by diving into the pit of hell and battling every nasty beast he encounters, including Cerberus and Phlegyas. Trailer after the jump!...
Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....
Signing Day Was Best Ever, Says Every Coach Everywhere
Now that the first letters of intent have been signed and sealed, one indisputable fact emerges: every single school had its best recruiting class of all time. Let's look at the not-at-all hyperbolic statements from around the country....
There’s More Than One Way To Fill A Prophylactic! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin's Affinity For Young Teenage Boys
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Lane Kiffin, who's already made a cannonball splash at USC thanks to an aspirational verbal commitment from a 13-year-old boy....
Seantrel Henderson Won Signing Day
It's good to be a five-star recruit. The Minnesota product was flown to New York by the CBS College Sports Network to announce his choice. But that pales in comparison to the treatment his suitors gave him....
Demar Dorsey A Perfect Fit For UM
RichRod yesterday: "There's nobody on this football team that we've signed that has a felony conviction. There's nobody on this football team we signed that has a misdemeanor conviction." Today: Dorsey burglarized two homes in one day in 2007. [Freep]...
People Fainting On Live Television Will Never Cease To Amuse
Batista is a Brazilian soccer commentator who got a little woozy during a recent broadcast. Note the expression shortly before his eyes roll upward. It's the look of someone who knows he's about to be all over YouTube. [Unprofessional Foul]...
Super Bowl Subplot #7: Shhh! Commercials!
The only thing people love more than Super Bowl commercials is complaining about people who only care about the commercials. Or is it complaining about those complainers? I feel like we've had this conversation before....
The Super Bowl: Still The Most Important Thing Ever
There's gnashing of teeth in America and self-congratulations in Europe over a report that the Super Bowl is no longer the most popular sporting event on the planet. Not so fast. Let's not count our broadcast shares before they hatch....
Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...
The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...
How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...