si Page 888 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...

LeBron Goes On <em>Larry King</em>, Says Cleveland Has An Edge, Whatever That Means
LeBron James had a conversation with a confused old man and agreed that Cleveland has an "edge" as regards his impending free agency. In response, Larry King farted quietly into his diaper. [CNN, photo via @kingsthings]...

Lazily Scroll Through Pictures Of New York's Best-Looking Sandwiches
Grub Street has spoken: these are the best sandwiches in New York. But don't worry, they've got lists for a few different cities as well. Click through the galleries, then wipe all the drool off your desk. [Grub Street]...

Dennis Hopper Played <em>Hoosiers</em> Alcoholic By Spinning In A Chair
So says Maris Valainis, who played Jimmy Chitwood. So Shooter wasn't actually drunk? Next you're gonna tell me the bad guys' team wasn't really full of black kids. (Oh wait, it wasn't.) [Dan Patrick Show]...

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The One Where The Elon Baseball Team Will Fight You Over Anything
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Alvin Gentry Loses His Lunch (And Now No One Is Hungry)
What is going on with sports TV tonight? Someone must have spiked his porkchop....

YES Reporter Loses Her Pork Chop To Hungry Fan
Well, here's a first. Kimberly Jones of the YES Network tried to show off Target Field's new "pork chop on a stick" when an amorous Yankee fan got a little too frisky and well....he drinks your pork chop. Video inside....

A Salute To Jose Canseco's Many Failures (Gallery)
Yesterday was the 17th anniversary of Jose Canseco taking a Carlos Martinez fly ball off the noggin for a home run. It was also the first anniversary of his MMA debut. Both are indelible moments in failuredom. Let's examine some Kanseco Klassics....

This Is What Orson Welles Sounds Like When He's Drunk
Here's a delightful set of outtakes from a Welles commercial for Paul Masson wines. As the old adage says: If the check clears, Orson Welles'll shill for your crappy products, but don't expect him to be sober doing it. [Pursuitlist via NYMag]...

Simona Halep Loses The Boobs, Loses
Simona Halep did indeed show up to the French Open significantly less top-heavy than she was a year ago, but she still lost in the first round. Hey, you don't just bounce back from something like that. [Mirror/Daily Mail]...

Erin Andrews Has Made It After All
It wasn't that long ago that everyone wondered how Erin Andrews could ever recover from her humiliating and scary stalker episode. Now she's rolling around in lingerie and letting people rave about her ass. Looks like she made it....

Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...

Flyers Fan Thinks Live TV Is "F^@*ing Amazing"
Hey, you put a drunk Phillyite on live television, moments after their team wins the Eastern Conference Finals, and you're basically begging for an f-bomb. You simply cannot take hockey fans anywhere. [Crossing Broad]...

Pi Beta Phi: The Party-Menace Sorority Of The Midwest
Ohio University's branch of Pi Beta Phi held a winter formal and, just like their sisters at Miami University (of Ohio), they abandoned all forms of lady-likeness and terrorized the place where it was held. The Smoking Gun has the gory rundown....

Gay Mexican Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Private Stache: Ken Griffey Jr. Has A Senior Moment
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Last Night's Winner: The Rest Of The NFC North
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Tarvaris Jackson's chances of starting, which look pretty bright since Brett Favre has hitched his latest comeback to the hopes of a long-shot college baseball team....

Wedded Wrestler Of The Week: "Macho Man" Randy Savage
Macho Man, whose first wife was Miss Elizabeth, has at last made an honest woman of his longtime girlfriend, Lynn. Snap into a second marriage! [The Sun]...