si Page 913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Pitino Deemed Unworthy Of Samford Law School's Leadership Luncheon
Rick Pitino was supposed to appear at a leadership luncheon in September at Samford's Cumberland law school. Now it seems the priapic boy genius will not be darkening Samford's door, for some mysterious reason....

What To Expect From "Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals"
The Cincinnati Bengals are not quite the trainwreck they once were, but everyone is still hoping for some kind of entertainment value out of this year's edition of HBO's "Hard Knocks" docudrama. Don't get your hopes up....

Spencer Swindle, Eamonn Daggerpiece To Work For Sunglassed Lurker
Congratulations to these fine gentleman. The SB Nation is poised to become scary good. [SBN]...

Nationals' Unexpected Success Sends <em>Washington Post</em> Into A Fugue State
The lede to yesterday's game story: "In the coda of the Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor, composer Johann Sebastian Bach repeats the same chord sequence over and over again, leading the listener to anticipate one resolution ..." [Washington Post]...

Vancouver Wary Of MMA "Gangsters"
This is the best news lede of the month: "The potential for an Ultimate Fighting Championship event to draw undesirable gangsters to downtown Vancouver is real, say police." So should we just hand over our wallets and women now?...

Reggie Miller's "Love Interest" Has A History Of Breaking Up Marriages (UPDATE)
Reggie Miller was warned off married chicks—well, one married chick—and the man responsible knows of what he speaks. Sure, his girlfriend isn't actually his wife, but when she first pursued him, he was married to someone else....

Linda Cohn Bravely Tests The ESPN Social Networking Policy
60,000 Cohn Heads. Now there ain't but 20,000 Bristol police in the whole town... can you dig it? [The Rookies]...

The One With Bizarro Topless Eric Snow And Other Things
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Barry Zito Prepares To Illuminate The World With His Atrocious Singing
Sweet mother of Christmas, this is bad. Giants super-chill pitcher Barry Zito is recording an album and, unfortunately for him (and anyone who listens), one of his songs was leaked to The Dirty. "What A Man's Gotta Do." Ugh. [TheDirty]...

The Bidding Wars For The Erin Andrews Interview Have Begun (UPDATE)
Oprah. Larry King. Diane Sawyer. Katie Couric. According to one snitch/source, these are some of the heavy-hitters jockeying for the exclusive EA post-peephole heart-to-heart sit-down....

Status Of Reilly-Simmons Rivalry Captured By Mediaite's Portentous Colored Arrows
The oracle at Mediaite has spoken. The green-arrowed Rick Reilly is on the rise. The red-arrowed Sporting Fellow is in decline. Reilly is squirting grapefruit juice in Bill Simmons' face! [Mediaite, h/t HabsFan29]...

NCAA Expands To Canada; Can University Of Phoenix Online Be Far Behind?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Charmin Now The Official Butt Wiping Cloth Of The NFL
No longer content (or rich enough) to rely on cars and beer to fill their advertising accounts, the NFL just inked a $10 million-a-year deal with Proctor & Gamble to designate their crap "Official Locker Room Products of the NFL."...

ESPN Twitter Memo: The Remix
So now that the infamous memo has been passed around to everyone, ESPN has reworked their guidelines for those individuals still confused or incensed by the policy and what they can and cannot do....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Crossing Pattern Dong
The Deadspin Hall of Fame is not just for individuals: It is for themes, for common bonds, for lasting memes ... for dongs....

Joe Posnanski Just Gave You A Reason To Renew Your <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Subscription
Posnanski, who in the time it takes you to read this will have written two features and a post about Yuniesky Betancourt, is SI's newest senior writer: "This is Broadway. This is Paris under a setting sun." [Joeposnanski.com, TBL, Shanoff]...

This Photo Hurts My Heart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Sandra Bullock Will Ride Michael Oher To Oscar Glory
For those in the dark, this is the movie version of Michael Lewis' book about Baltimore's No. 1 draft pick Michael Oher, a hulking black kid who was taken into the loving embrace of a lily white family in rural Mississippi after they found him bleeding and hungry on the side of the road. The fact th...

Alexander Ovechkin Is Here To Do Two Things: Play Hockey And Sex Your Women
And hockey season is over. Russia Today gets to the bottom Alex Ovechkin's life, complete with helpful on-screen guides. Revelations: He's ugly, sadness makes him cry, and sex is good. You're welcome. [Puck Duddy]...