si Page 963 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No Stunt Pitcher Needed
Apparently all the Dodgers' offense needed was a kick in the ass from a guy who things while Brett Ratner tells him to make goofy faces. LA's bats finally broke out, and at the expense of San Diego's Chris Young of all people. Andre Ethier went 3-5 including one of the team's three home runs (Furcal...
Getting Hyphy In Oakland
A couple of nights ago Denver beat Golden State to take full control over the last playoff spot in the Western Conference, but now things are wide open yet again. The Warriors got great performances out of all five of their starters in last night's win over the Clippers. Baron Davis and Stephen Jack...
About Last Night
What you missed while ghost riding the pony... • NBA: Denver needed a win to stay a game up on the Warriors, but instead they had their asses handed to them by the Jazz. • Boxing: Alfonso Gomez is probably penning a thank you note to last night's ringside doctor. • MLB: Johan Santana can give up hom...
The Parrot Will Get In Your Head
Mascots are so fat these days! Can't we make money off of that?...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering why Tim Tebow's dad doesn't marry Jesus... • Boxing: Miguel Cotto vs. Alfonso Gomez and Antonio Margarito vs. Kermit Cintron. This card is awesome. • Boxing: Antonio Tarver vs. Clinton Woods and Chad Dawson vs. Glen Johnson. Large has a great rundown of the big fight ni...
The Best Knockouts of Friday Night Fights
3. I would recommend staying on the ground for a while....
I'm Not Your Fwend, Buddy
You see, she's dressed like that because it was... raining. Forget all of that, the rain is gone and everybody is on the course in Augusta. Jim Nantz just called me his friend, so you know we're ready to go. Defending champion Zach Johnson is putting together the round of the day, but all his -4 ro...
The Return of Super Blogdome
• Bram is off to ESPN, and that's just one of 13 incites in an epic post. [Wizznutzz] • Giant Dixie cups are roaming the streets surrounding Fenway. [Screwballs] • Old blind man hits a hole in one. Well, that's what they told him. [In the Weeds] • Smart hockey player makes drinking easier at frat pa...
Bryant Mercifully Leaves the Booth
Bryant Gumbel does excellent work for HBO Sports, but as a play-by-play announcer for the NFL Network he was terrible. Fortunately both parties came to terms with that fact, and we will no longer be subjected to any of his two-minute "mournings" or legendarily indecisive first down calls. Awful Anno...
Springtime For Meyer
• In Progress — CFB: Florida Gators Spring Game. Tebow is sick and Harvin has heel problems that tend to plague men of similar greatness. [ESPN] • In Progress — Tennis: WTA Bausch & Lomb Championships, Semifinal. It's Maria Sharapova and Lindsay Davenport if I'm not mistaken. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Hockey...
Woodrow's Woes and Rory's Belt
Rory Sabatini will have plenty of time to do some more shopping at Hot Topic this weekend, as he became one of the top players to miss the cut at the Masters. Those who did survive the first two days at Augusta National are now underway despite a bit of atmospheric wetness. KJ Choi is already +3 fo...
Dontrelle Is Injured, Fat
Dontrelle Willis lasted all of 14 pitches before leaving with a hyper-extended knee, but he was just as shitty before the injury. The high-kicking lefty couldn''t seem to get his kick all the way up, which the Baseball Tonight crew was quick to attribute to his physique, which can only be described...
Nightmare Fuel From the NHL Playoffs
Holy sweet fucking God! I'm just going to sit here for a minute while appreciating my non-destroyed testicles. Continue after the jump for last night's scores, because we might as well talk about hockey as long as we're here. Oh, and a big thanks to Enrico at the 700 Level for making this the first...
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...
About Last Night
What you missed while audibly yelping with glee... • Boxing: Carlos De Leon Jr. > Buddy McGirt Jr. De Leon proved to be the better son of a former champion when he stopped the previously undefeated McGirt in the seventh. • MLB: The Yankees proved their supremacy over the Red Sox with a 4-1 April vic...
This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...
Al Reyes Had An Active 38th Birthday
We turned exactly 32-and-a-half yesterday, and that got us to thinking about how we should celebrate our 33rd birthday, because we are not one of those people who are bashful about birthdays. Karaoke party? Chevy's fiesta? Ritualistic human sacrifice? We decided to just listen to Tampa Bay Devil Ray...
Ricky Reilly, Billy Simmons, And The Follies Of Privileged Sportswriting
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. Enjoy....
Storming The Floor's San Antonio Road Trip
Storming The Floor was in San Antonio for the NCAA Title Game last night. Check out their full report....