si Page 995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What's the Next MLB Promotional Gimmick?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Do Not Taunt Julian Tavarez
Of all the athletes you'd want to make fun of while he's holding a baseball, Julian Tavarez seems like a particularly dangerous choice....

Sebastien Gacond Is Gay (As Long As You Make It Clear It's The "Happy" Kind Of Gay)
This is Sebastien Gacond. He is a professional triathlete, which is impressive; it must be difficult to be an athlete with three major appendages. He is also not gay. Not gay at all. Nothing gay about Sebastien Gacond. He is all man. It is extremely important that you understand this....

Like The Bachelor, But Somehow Dumber
Remember Mark Philippoussis? He was a vaguely douchey tennis "star" who dated Paris Hilton before it set your genitals on fire to date Paris Hilton. (This could be when she was nine.) Well, he has made the next logical jump in his "career;" He's appearing on a dating reality show. That NBC dating sh...

With Special "Look For Real Killers" Action!
This is going to sound morbid, but we've always wanted the opportunity to play as O.J. Simpson in a football video game. His combination of speed, power and downfield slashing action, we've always thought, would make us unstoppable. And, of course, deadly....

Come See Rick Reilly Make Armpit Noises
We've encouraged you to come to the Varsity Letters Reading Series in New York before, but if you come to tonight's endeavor, you'll be in for a special treat. (Depending on how you define "special.") The headlining reader is Sports Illustrated columnist/stand-up comic Rick Reilly. (Donald Evans and...

Three Great Tastes That Taste Great Together
So, you're trying to promote your fledgling soccer franchise. You've got a two options: You can hold a blood drive outside the stadium pregame and give free tickets to those who give up a pint. Or ... you can just GIVE OUT FREE BEER!...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while helping Jamison Stone stalk his next kill ... • MLB: It's almost as if Alex Rodriguez is telling the world %$#! You! Yankees 7, White Sox 3. • Tennis: An American No Longer In Paris ... Serena booed, ousted by Justine Henin. • Women's softball: College World Series, Arizona bea...

Nice Pitching, You Blockhead
Look, there's probably no tougher job in baseball than that of closer. But that being said, it's hard to imagine someone failing at it in more spectacular fashion than did the Giants' Armando Benitez last week. The Giants had a one-run lead in the ninth against the Mets on May 29 when Benitez was br...

Gary Sheffield Is Full Of Opinions
As we sift through the carnage of yet another Gary Sheffield interview — and the accompanying brilliant Dugout reaction — we take a look back at the quotable career of Gary Sheffield. 100 Percent Injury Rate has compiled some of Gary's greatest hits throughout the years. Here are a few of our favori...

In Case You Were Wondering Whatever Happened To Steve Buechele
For years, for the NBA Draft Lottery, various franchises have trotted out coaches, assistants, GMs, current stars, franchise legends, random puppies, whoever, to represent the team as they find out which tall young person they will pay millions of dollars to. And now that Major League Baseball is ho...

You Can't Put A Price On A Lifetime Of Wisdom
We always support those who want to give back to the community and charitable organizations, particularly when that charitable donation involves spending an hour absorbing information directly from the brain of Isiah Thomas....

Malibu Was Healed By Mother Nature
If you haven't had the opportunity to revel in the "American Gladiators" reruns on ESPN Classic — truly the greatest programming currently airing on the vast family of networks — we can't recommend them enough. Just Call Me Juice discovered this little piece of genius, which is the least you can exp...

Bill Clement, You Sly Son Of A Bitch
Goodness. I hope that's not how he told his mom "Happy Mother's Day."...

A Day's Worth Of ESPN Classic
Now that ESPN Classic no longer shows "original" programming like "Classic Now" or "Cheap Seats," the channel is supposedly back to its roots of showing historic sporting events ... you know, the reason the channel existed in the first place....

Tom Verducci Really, Really Wants To Play Baseball
You might remember, from a couple of years ago, when Sports Illustrated baseball guru Tom Verducci played for five days with the Toronto Blue Jays during spring training. It was a clever idea, and well-written, as was his piece this year about serving as an umpire. But, like an athlete who has been ...

Andrew Walter Will Hear Your Confession Now
We're a bit late on this, but alas:...

Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...

Fun With Ambidexterity: It's Pat!
A while back we told you about Creighton's Pat Venditte, whose main claim to fame — besides being a college junior who looks like he's 12 — is that he can pitch with both hands. OK, perhaps not that impressive when you put him next to the Amazing Rubber Boy, but we have trouble picking up a fork lef...

The Number 30 Is Worth A House
The sale of jersey numbers is a time-honored tradition in sports. A team will sign or trade for a star free-agent, and some other scrub on the roster is already wearing the number that said star has worn his entire career ... and the star will pay the scrub tens of thousands of dollars for his numbe...