sid Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Biggest Presidential Penis: WHO YA GOT?!
Before we get to the Funbag this week, I'm in Brooklyn for a Gelf Magazine thing on Thursday if you feel like going. It's at Pacific Standard. Afterwards, we can all get drunk and watch Tebow run the T formation against the Jets. Also, I'll be at the National Press Club book fair tonight signing boo...
The Taiwanese Animation For The Penn State Scandal Is Batshit Insane, Even By Taiwanese Animation Standards
Did you know these videos aren't even aimed at Taiwanese people? Next Media Animation knows their twisted takes on Western news play well in America. It's been a while since we ran one of them, because by pumping them out almost daily they've watered down what was once a special treat. But their v...
Evgeni Malkin And Sidney Crosby Are: Hairy Guy And Gladiator
Not sure if that's "pimp", or the more general "hirsute man from the 70s." But to echo the comments every Penguins fan, Geno probably should have gone as the Invisible Man: he already has the costume. Meanwhile, someone ask Crosby if he likes gladiator movies. [Twitter]...
The Many Faces Of Bomani Jones
Paul Finebaum doing what Paul Finebaum does was too much for the Outside The Lines panel to mentally handle. Most notably, it transformed mild-mannered Bomani Jones into a cartoon character. We've screengrabbed some of his more expressive countenances, so that history will never forget....
A Hank Williams Jr. Discussion Turned ESPN's OTL Into <em>The Morton Downey Jr. Show</em>
I mean, I think this conversation was about Hank Williams Jr. It was less than a minute old when Paul Finebaum, an Alabama radio personality, said Dave Zirin had uttered the "single stupidest [statement] [he's] ever heard in the history of this program." After that, Bomani Jones made some hilariou...
Michael Oher Would Appreciate It If You'd Tell Him Who This Steve Jobs Guy Was
Drop the Baltimore Ravens offensive lineman and Sandra Bullock Oscar-prop a Twitter line at @michaeloher if you can help. If, in fact, "who was Steve Jobs" was a question and not a meta declarative statement....
The Ups And Downs Of Sidney Crosby's Scrambled Brain
Our old friend Katie Baker has published an exhaustive timeline of Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby's concussed 2011 at Grantland.com. Take those things out of your ears and go read it! [Grantland]...
Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...
Jayson Werth Can't Even Help His Favorite "Racing President" Nationals Mascot Win
"Give Werth credit: he tried to force the issue Friday night, hanging around on the warning track between innings and attempting to block George, Tom, and Abe on the track in right field (with a little help from members of the Nats bullpen). Alas, Teddy still did not win." [Nationals Enquirer]...
32 Paragraphs About 32 NFL Teams From The 2011 Football Outsiders Almanac
The following is excerpted from the team chapters of the always-excellent Football Outsiders almanac. Buy the PDF for $12 or order the book for $21.95....
Well, This Is Ominous Non-News About Sidney Crosby's Brain
The headline on the Penguins' official site, which has some editorial independence but is for all purposes the NHL's Pravda: "Crosby Visits Leading Specialists."...
Matt Cooke Is Gonna Try Really, Really Hard Not To Be A Cheap-Shot Artist Anymore
As Matt Cooke kept busy last winter by performing his usual song-and-dance of blindside hits and head shots on Penguins opponents, his wife, Michelle, was in the hospital battling a kidney infection. The ordeal, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, was known by his teammates and coaches—and ...
This Evening: A Monkey Jumps Out Of The Stands To Thwart Teddy Roosevelt
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 17, the day we received crucial life lessons from Conan the Barbarian. Video via DC Sports Bog. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...
Lady In Steph Curry Jersey And Leggings At Outside Lands Gives Us Our First Floopster Of The Season
At first I thought this was a man, which would have been a hoopster to end all hoopsters. Dangly earrings, big scarf, a ponytail, leggings, and a cool player's jersey....
Chase Utley's Inside-The-Park Homer Is Better Than Anything That Happened In Your Game Tonight
The best part (or worst, if you're a Braves or Mets fan) of all of this is just how excited the crowd, and the announcer, gets. It's late in the game. Philly's already up 5-1, over the Giants, whose 3.62 runs scored per game is the worst among all division leaders. Philly's also got the NL East sa...
Shaq Hired To Hang Out With Charles Barkley On A Regular Basis
Just six weeks into his retirement, Shaquille O'Neal has agreed to a multi-year deal with TNT to be a member of Inside the NBA. He'll join Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Kenny Anderson Ernie Johnson in the cavernous studio next season, and because he is very weird — and as long as he doesn't encr...
Here's China Losing Its Olympic Men's Soccer Bid On A Blown Call (Which Was Followed By A Humiliating Collapse)
Regrettably, the Chinese men's soccer team will not have a chance to follow up its 2008 Olympics performance—six goals against, one goal for, two red cards, one vicious episode of crotch-punching—with an appearance in London in 2012. The People's Republic was eliminated from the Asian Olympic qual...
This Is What It Sounds Like When Bob Ley Raps
On Outside the Lines today, Bob Ley found cause to recite a few bars from Jay-Z's DeShawn Stevenson dis track "Blow the Whistle," which Hova recorded during the hilarious LeBron & Jay-Z vs. DeShawn & Soulja Boy feud a few years back. There was little reason to expect that when James said that resp...
Alabama Football Player Found Dead; <em>ESPN Insider</em> Has The Story On Which Player Can Best Replace Him
The University of Alabama has confirmed that Aaron Douglas, an offensive lineman, was found dead in Florida this morning. There are no more details regarding the nature of his death, but ESPN Insider's Albert Lin is ahead of the news in some awful way: earlier this afternoon, the "Rumor Central" wri...